So huge party, DH stays in bed!

[QuackQuackSqueak]

Had a huge BBQ (by huge I mean 70 people) at lunch time today. Special occassion so loads of decorations and entertainment to sort of for all the children that came too, games etc. I was making all the food so lots to do. I got up at 6.30 to get started on it all and DH says he wants his lay-in as normal. I couldn't believe it! I have been planning the party for weeks and have done absolutely everything for it! So I just left him to it as I had too much to do to be arguing!

So I got up and moved all the furniture around, blew up balloons, put decorations up (loads of them as it had a theme), vaccumed, got kids dressed and hair done and teeth brushed, gave them breakfast, started making the food etc all whilst looking after our children. My DH got up at 8.30 and made himself breakfast (I hadn't had time for any), sat down to eat it then went for a wash and to get dressed which was again something that I hadn't managed to do. He then cut the veggies and moved the garden furniture and put out some rubbish, so he did do some stuff but it seemed begrudging and a bit humpy. So was really behing schedule and didn't quite get everything done that needed to be but just about enough. Forgot a few bits of food and things and was really stressed. The whole time the guests were here I felt like I was playing catch up.

So I'm really pissed off! He knows this and said I should have got him up earlier and that he only wanted a little lay-in, not as long as he had but how was I supposed to know that! Feel really let down as we ususally do things as a team

It was too big for your first party.

15 kids plus hangers on to me would say : bought food, my mum down the night before to take the kids out from dawn to party and one of the girls from nursery hired to hand round crisps and wipe any teary faces during the party.

30 kids is too much - esp if they are young kids.

Some people (men and woman) hate organising this sort of thing (me included). I would stay in bed as long as possible to avoid the whole shebang tbh. Sounds like Hell on earth. Next time hire a party planner.

Or clean your house the night before and stay in bed with your husband

Find it funny how many people are telling you you should have not had a party/had a smaller party/not prepared for your party. It's not a particularly complex situation. For better or worse, you were having a one-off big party by mutual agreement and you wanted your husband to share the childcare/preparation workload. Fair enough. He didn't, which is irritating and rather selfish. Hope you don't feel too down about the whole thing.

Now I see why this thread has been running for days. Was it a kids' party with nibbles for the adults or a huge BBQ for 70? I'm confused

I'm with Gwendoline - this thread is bonkers! OP - you need to prepare the night before - move furniture and clean the night before, get out plates and cutlery, lay table etc. If you have large and filthy hounds, bath them then shut them out of the main room(s) you are using.

MrsS - OP said that she wanted to do the furniture moving etc. the night before but her DP said to wait till the morning...

You should think yourself lucky, OP, that your DH did anything

We regularly host large parties due to both having a large families, you know, even when we cut to the bare minimum it's at least 40.

Anyway I do all the preparation while DH, up until an hour before everyone arrives, will be 'fixing' something, like the toilet door is sticking a bit, - 'we can't have that with all these people coming' so he'll be fiddling and fussing with it, shouting at it, until he eventually decides he must take the door off, get out the work bench and plane an inch of each side, and then re-hang it.

Or he'll set about re-arranging the garage so he can put away the bikes that have been in the porch for a month..

Or he'll start hacking down branches in the front garden to 'tidy up a bit'

This is my DH being useful..

Yes wolfhound most people have completely missed the point!

Gwen It was a joint party for 2 children (thought we would get it out the way in one go to make life easier!) so 30 children. There was a small BBQ aspect but only nibbles for the adults who had to attend as the children are so young. So with them plus a few relations it was 70!

I tend to not give too much detail on here (or change unimportant tiny details) as I don't want to be indentified in real life but I think on this thread it has made it a bit confusing.

I didn't think any of that stuff was important because as far as I was concerned we (both me and DH) made the decision to have the party so we should both have taken responsibility for making sure everything was done on time. Whether or not we should have undertaken it is neither here nor there, we did, we didn't get as much done the night before as DH wanted to go to bed, and was manic in the morning as DH wouldn't get out of bed again! Leaving me to deal with the children, last minute tidying, furniture moving and prep of food, which would have been fine if we were doing it together but too much for one person.

I think it just sounds like your DH was tired and a bit grumpy (hence wanting to go to bed the night before rather than moving furniture, and wanting another couple of hours in bed in the morning). Happens to us all. Sounds like he helped perfectly nicely the rest of the time.

So I would say YAB a bit over emotional about it. Understandable to be a bit frazzled after all that work, give yourself a couple of days rest before you lay into your DH!