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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset at my cousin calling me 'smug and show-offy'?

112 replies

SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 16:48

I am neither

Basically, I have a ring binder, which I keep things in that I want to do with DD. E.g I print a lot of things off the internet like activity ideas, colouring sheets, craft templates etc and put them in this folder organised by topic So that I know I always have things for us to do, activity wise, and it's useful because DD is 2 and a half and starting to develop interests in things and enjoys doing arty crafty stuff. I also keep in there the pictures that she does, and the completed activities etc, and like a 'journal' of things we do, days outs', our 'projects', pictures of thing's we've baked and how we made them etc. I have fun putting it together, as I enjoy doing things on the computer and DD is my PFB. DD also likes looking through it and decorating the pages with stickers etc.

Anyway I'm rambling.

DH also likes to look at it, to see what she's been doing, because he doesn't get to see her during the week. Grandparents also like to have a look at what new things she's done. But I never get it out, and say 'please look at all of the things I do with DD', never.

So this is the thing, my cousin saw it on the desk, and PICKED IT UP OF HER OWN ACCORD, and looked through it. Smirking and raising eyebrows.

She then went on to ask me what the point was in it, and that I come across as rather smug and 'be careful when DD starts school, the other parents won't like a show off'. Blush

I was quite hurt actually because I would never intentionally show it to people, to show off. It's my project with DD, and it's nice doing topics with her and coming up with different ideas for each one. And I just like keeping a record of it to look through. I am very geeky and enjoy that kind of thing Grin

So please, tell me that she was being mean!

This post is not me being smug or show-offy, so please, nobody say that.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 27/05/2011 16:50

That sounds lovely

The sort of thing I aspire to do, but never quite manage to be so organised

reikizen · 27/05/2011 16:51

you are a bit show-offy though aren't you? Or you wouldn't have posted. If you didn't think you were in the right you would not be sharing this with us. Am I right? Or am I right? Btw, you may need to cultivate some outside interests apart from your baby [taking the piss lightheartedly emoticon] Enjoy your activities with your DD, but don't expect praise for it...

ashamedandconfused · 27/05/2011 16:52

she's being mean

they get you to do scrap booky things like this with them all the time once they start school

"my weekend"
"my holiday"
"my christmas"

lots of parents hate having to do it, but you will be in your element!

PortPortBlacksand · 27/05/2011 16:52

It sounds lovely - she is being a jealous cow.

You will get this when your DD starts school - i was told i'd gone overboard and made too much effort on DS1s nativity costume - i just smiled ignored it tbh - and yes, those mums have turned out to be the ones best avoided.

If you don't do your best for your DD - who will?

TheMonster · 27/05/2011 16:52

You sound far too organised to me, but it only becomes smug and show off-y when you deliberately show it to people.

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 16:52

Ah, phew.

Thankyou rubyslippers (love the name) Even if everyone else comes now and tells me I'm being unreasonable, you have already given me the validation I needed Grin

OP posts:
Quenelle · 27/05/2011 16:53

Imagine being able to look back through it when she's older. Lovely Smile

rubyslippers · 27/05/2011 16:53
Smile
HerHissyness · 27/05/2011 16:53

What a fabulous idea! how lovely will that be to look back on?!

DS nursery did this and it's lovely to see what they get up to, and how filthy they get at nursery, but are all cleaned up before pick up! Grin

AFAIK, most nurseries do make this work book idea and it's part of their development measurement process.

How could you appear smug, it's a scrap book collecting all the fun stuff you and DD get up to!

Your cousin IS mean. Stuff for mums and our DC to do together are lovely, don't you dare feel intimidated by this, carry on!

Ormirian · 27/05/2011 16:54

Lovely idea.

Not the sort of thing I did - well not for long - but I wasn't very organised,

LeQueen · 27/05/2011 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumblingRagDoll · 27/05/2011 16:55

Not smug and I am stealing that idea! My DDs are 3 and 6 and both would adore that. Grin

[blows rasberry at sequins cousin]

jeckadeck · 27/05/2011 16:55

she sounds small-minded, envious and nasty. Firstly, if she goes nosing around in people's private affairs she's in no position to judge what she finds. Secondly, it sounds like a rather sweet thing to do and anyone who can find it in themselves to say something negative about a project between a mother and her daughter is obviously not a very happy person. Does she have kids herself? If she does, she may have been inadvertantly made to feel inadequate. Not that that's your problem.
Take no notice, she probably resents the fact that you have a good relationship with your child and have the initiative and organizational skills to save the memories. Tell her to mind her own business and keep her narrow-minded opinions to herself.

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 16:55

I shall be ignoring your post reikizen Grin
I don't expect praise for it, like I said, I don't show it to anybody. I am now aware though that posting this is going to make me look that way Confused Bugger.

I like the sound of that ashamedandconfused I really am in my element with that kind of thing! It's a hobby Smile

Don't fear for me please ladies, I really do have a life outside of DD. Honestly! Grin

OP posts:
honeybee007 · 27/05/2011 16:55

What websites do you use?and can you please pm me lots of tips?I'm mega jealous and want to start one now,how old was your dd when you started it? It will be lovely for her to look back on when shes older.your cousin is mean just ignore her.

Guitargirl · 27/05/2011 16:56

Aw, just ignore your cousin. Very mean-spirited and sounds as though she was being deliberately hurtful.

I collect stuff like this all the time and have it in piles on a bookcase ready for some hypothetical time in the future when I have time to scrapbook it all.

It will be lovely for your DD to look back on when she's older.

1Catherine1 · 27/05/2011 16:57

She sounds jealous mean to me...

I think it is a lovely thing to do and I hope you won't mind that I'm going to steal that idea and keep it in the back of my mind so that when my DD is old enough we can always have something to do together. It is a lovely record and i am sure you don't have it to show off only to share your special moments with those close (i.e dh) who would miss it otherwise.

TattyDevine · 27/05/2011 16:57

I don't see why posting makes her smug or showy offy. She is upset about the unjustness of being called that when the cousin picked it up of her own accord.

A lot of people post on AIBU about being called something in order to clarify whether or not they are misguided or whether or not the perpetrator is projecting their own issues. Sometimes its hard to tell. Its only because of the subject matter that a person might think she's posting it to show off.

She couldn't really have posted about it without giving the detail she has.

OP, YANBU

ashamedandconfused · 27/05/2011 16:57

Oh by the way OP, if your Dd is only 2 you will have to learn to sift all her stuff, because you will end up with a loft full of tatt memories like me by the time she is out of reception year

grumblinalong · 27/05/2011 16:58

Pat on the back for using a bit of imagination and recording the early days of your DD's life and development. It's lovely that her family are so interested in her too.

I can tell you only have one child though! If I did this with 3 DC's I'd need an extra day added to my life. Plus I'm in the benign neglect camp now they outnumber me.

She was being mean but YABU for bothering about what your cousin thinks.

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 16:58

Ah thankyou all, I feel better now. I was feeling very hard done to and like a bit of a saddo tbh Sad Because I really am not one of those people who forces their children down other peoples throat. I am very much my own person as well, but it's just something I really enjoy doing with her.

Thankyou all for being so nice! Smile

OP posts:
WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 27/05/2011 16:59

She's probably just jealous :) as am I! I wrote down some ideas on a Word document once, for a similar reason - and then promptly neglected to use it :o

And I really fail to see the problem in posting about it here - that's the whole point of AIBU Confused

beesimo · 27/05/2011 16:59

Good for you OP you are a good Mam all your doing is making 'memory books' for your DC I have cupboards full of them.

Don't let lazy slapdash women pull you down if they can't be bothered its up to them but you be bothered for your own. As for other women not liking you at the school gates so what they don't rule the bloody world do they?

There are some women I wouldn't leave in charge of a chicken

cjbartlett · 27/05/2011 17:00

I don't think it's at all smug
you should just have told her she was a nosy bing for looking at your stuff Grin

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 17:01

I use lots of different websites honeybee I can send you a few of the links later if you'd like? Some of them are really good, and simple to do too. I tend to think of a topic I'd like to do with DD and then google ideas Blush I will send you a PM later with them if you'd like.

OP posts: