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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset at my cousin calling me 'smug and show-offy'?

112 replies

SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 16:48

I am neither

Basically, I have a ring binder, which I keep things in that I want to do with DD. E.g I print a lot of things off the internet like activity ideas, colouring sheets, craft templates etc and put them in this folder organised by topic So that I know I always have things for us to do, activity wise, and it's useful because DD is 2 and a half and starting to develop interests in things and enjoys doing arty crafty stuff. I also keep in there the pictures that she does, and the completed activities etc, and like a 'journal' of things we do, days outs', our 'projects', pictures of thing's we've baked and how we made them etc. I have fun putting it together, as I enjoy doing things on the computer and DD is my PFB. DD also likes looking through it and decorating the pages with stickers etc.

Anyway I'm rambling.

DH also likes to look at it, to see what she's been doing, because he doesn't get to see her during the week. Grandparents also like to have a look at what new things she's done. But I never get it out, and say 'please look at all of the things I do with DD', never.

So this is the thing, my cousin saw it on the desk, and PICKED IT UP OF HER OWN ACCORD, and looked through it. Smirking and raising eyebrows.

She then went on to ask me what the point was in it, and that I come across as rather smug and 'be careful when DD starts school, the other parents won't like a show off'.

I was quite hurt actually because I would never intentionally show it to people, to show off. It's my project with DD, and it's nice doing topics with her and coming up with different ideas for each one. And I just like keeping a record of it to look through. I am very geeky and enjoy that kind of thing

So please, tell me that she was being mean!

This post is not me being smug or show-offy, so please, nobody say that.

OP posts:

SuePurblybilt · 27/05/2011 20:15

I bet your DD will love your folders when she gets old enough to look back at them. FFS, its no different to those books recording My First Poo or whatever. My DD, rising 5, has a scrapbook of every summer for the last 3 years. Cinema stubs, postcards, days out leaflets etc, just stuck in a book and we've added pictures and photos together. She can spend hours looking at them and talking about them, she certainly wouldn't remember the trips without them. I did it as a way to try and make the activities more special as we've not been able to have holidays but now it's just a really nice activity to keep the treasures she picks up (leaves and flowers and stuff) safe and remember our days out. Don't see who you're hurting if you're not showing it to all and sundry.

Laquitar · 27/05/2011 20:15

It sounds a bit, i don't know, 'proffessional' to me.

Maybe because it is what i was doing when i was a nanny (for the memories but also for my portfolio and for my payrise ). I haven't done it with my own dcs. If there was a funny moment i would take a photo. And perhaps sent the photo to dh to make him smile. But writting every activity down and give it to dh to read it? No.

But you seem to enjoy it and to be naturally organised so no problem. Your cousin was very rude because a) she was in your house b) you didn't ask her opinion.

You would make a very good CM imo

TribbleWithoutACause · 27/05/2011 20:27

That sounds so lovely!! You're basically scrapbooking aren't you. In years to come, you'll be glad you've done this kind of thing with her. You'll be able to look back on it and enjoy reliving those memories.

Loonytoonie · 27/05/2011 20:27

YANBU - your cousin should wind her neck back in and stop being so nosy and judgemental. What you do with your children is no one's business. I love the ideas actually and if I should ever get my life back from my studies, I'd love to do some of these activites. Please add me to your list of people to link

Pixieonthemoor · 27/05/2011 20:27

I think Jeckadeck has hit the nail on the head. Your cousin is a nasty and envious woman. Its not as if you thrust it into her hands and said "look, look at my genius child and how brilliantly I am enabling her"!!! I think it sounds absolutely lovely (not to mention a jolly good idea to have art/craft ideas at the ready). Enjoy!!

heleninahandcart · 27/05/2011 20:40

Your cousin has ishoos. I find your scrap book makes me feel inadequate cute as this is the type of thing I would have loved to have done had I thought about it had time.

Some people just have to say something, ignore your cousin she obviously can't stand seeing yours and DC's talents!

BsshBossh · 27/05/2011 20:57

Your cousin is BU but you are BU for letting it get to you .

It sounds like a lovely idea. My DD's childminders do exactly the same for her/us and as I don't get to spend all my week with her I just love it. I gave my CMs a camcorder to record DD's activities with them too (for them to use only as and when they wish) and now I have hours of footage to treasure.

My Dad did something similar for me when I was a child (though much less detailed by the sounds of your post) and I like looking through it as an adult sometimes and I am sure DD will enjoy looking through it too.

Sounds no different from a mum's blog.

I might have to so something similar myself for weekends/holidays. I just take loads of photos at the moment.

Can you PM me too or start a links thread up in Chat?

PrincessJas · 27/05/2011 21:07

Hi Sequins,

i think it sounds like a lovely idea. i do this with DS but nowhere so organisdx-basically just painting, drawing etc., keeping the 'art' and tKing photos.

Please could you PM me too with the webistes, or start another thread with the details?

Thanks.

YANBU, you're cousin is clearly jealous (if she has kids, it's because she hasn't done this them, or if she hasn't got kids it's because she wants to do this with them).

FleeBee · 27/05/2011 21:13

I like your ideas, please can you send me the details so I can attempt something with my DC.

Thanks

Amaretti · 27/05/2011 21:18

Can't BELIEVE your name, wanksock

SpringFollows · 27/05/2011 22:09

Have committed the cardinal sin on MN by only reading the OP, but that sounds LOVELY!!!!! What a lovely thing to do. I have a pfb too, and I want to be doing stuff with him. In many ways it hurt me alot that the first painting he ever did as with the babysitter. All I could do was frame it. (And I did).

I love what you do OP and I am going to copy. :)

Missbakewell · 27/05/2011 22:24

I think that is a really lovely thing to do! My sister has a 2 year old and am she would just love this idea too.. would you PM me too with the websites so I can send them to her.
Thanks!

Original poster

SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 22:35

Ok, I'll try and PM you all now. I'll just copy and paste the same message to you all! I am reluctant to start a thread about it, because then I think i would be throwing myself to the lions!

OP posts:

hairfullofsnakes · 27/05/2011 22:42

I know this sounds weird but can you PM me what you do as it sounds great! X

Guitargirl · 27/05/2011 22:43

Awww, go on, post a thread, put it in arts & crafts, no-one will flame you there!

chipmonkey · 27/05/2011 22:56

Sequins, I love your folder idea! I have a basket in an attic room, full of stuff that ds1 and ds2 did when they were little. Unfortunately by the time ds3 and ds4 came along, the poor mites were lucky if anything made it to the kitchen wall.

There are certain people who will slag you off if they perceive that you are in some way being a better parent, probably to justify their own inadequacies. Your cousin is one of them.

Water. Duck. Back

Original poster

SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 23:12

Ok, I've PMd those of you who've asked I think i've rambled about it, but if there's something different you wanted to know, just message me. I may have been a bit vague! Thankyou to all of you who have been so nice!

OP posts:

TragicallyHip · 27/05/2011 23:22

You don't sound like a knob at all!

Sounds lovely, if I wasn't so lazy I'd like to do something like that

trixymalixy · 27/05/2011 23:27

Sounds lovely. Your cousin is a right meanie.

MrsKaravan · 28/05/2011 07:02

I too am lazy pressed for time but it's lovely you are organised enough to do this. My DDs pictures get stuffed in a drawer! There is a thread in home education called the pre-schoolers home ed thread with stuff like this in it. Could you maybe post your idea and links etc in there? I'm sure it would be much appreciated. Obv it's for anyone to do but you will find many like-minded souls there. If not would you mind pm-ing me too?

TheSkiingGardener · 28/05/2011 07:19

It sounds really delightful and your cousin was definitely jealous. She was also extremely rude. I have an appalling memory and can remember so little of my childhood, I would love to have anything like that to look back on.

I'm definitely going to do something similar for DS. Any chance of another copied and pasted PM? Although the thread idea is great too...

missdt · 28/05/2011 07:29

They do it at nursery, its one of the things i'm looking forward to seeing. And lovely for your dh to see. Great that you have fun doing it - why shouldn't you do things you enjoy??

Not smug. Your cuz knows nowt.

JamieAgain · 28/05/2011 07:53

OP - are you a teacher ?

You sound like the perfect combination of creative and organised

Original poster

SequinsAndSparkles · 28/05/2011 15:30

Yes I will PM you SkiingGardener [smike]

No Jamie I'm not, I'm not anything really, I just work PT in a coffee shop.

OP posts:

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 28/05/2011 15:36

She's being mean and snarky. Of course you're not showing off if you do it for you and your DD.

It sounds as if the two of you have a lot of fun (you and DD, not cousin!) so who cares what she thinks?

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