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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset at my cousin calling me 'smug and show-offy'?

112 replies

SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 16:48

I am neither

Basically, I have a ring binder, which I keep things in that I want to do with DD. E.g I print a lot of things off the internet like activity ideas, colouring sheets, craft templates etc and put them in this folder organised by topic So that I know I always have things for us to do, activity wise, and it's useful because DD is 2 and a half and starting to develop interests in things and enjoys doing arty crafty stuff. I also keep in there the pictures that she does, and the completed activities etc, and like a 'journal' of things we do, days outs', our 'projects', pictures of thing's we've baked and how we made them etc. I have fun putting it together, as I enjoy doing things on the computer and DD is my PFB. DD also likes looking through it and decorating the pages with stickers etc.

Anyway I'm rambling.

DH also likes to look at it, to see what she's been doing, because he doesn't get to see her during the week. Grandparents also like to have a look at what new things she's done. But I never get it out, and say 'please look at all of the things I do with DD', never.

So this is the thing, my cousin saw it on the desk, and PICKED IT UP OF HER OWN ACCORD, and looked through it. Smirking and raising eyebrows.

She then went on to ask me what the point was in it, and that I come across as rather smug and 'be careful when DD starts school, the other parents won't like a show off'. Blush

I was quite hurt actually because I would never intentionally show it to people, to show off. It's my project with DD, and it's nice doing topics with her and coming up with different ideas for each one. And I just like keeping a record of it to look through. I am very geeky and enjoy that kind of thing Grin

So please, tell me that she was being mean!

This post is not me being smug or show-offy, so please, nobody say that.

OP posts:
PortPortBlacksand · 27/05/2011 17:02

"There are some women I wouldn't leave in charge of a chicken" That made me Grin

CoffeeIsMyFriend · 27/05/2011 17:03

I think it is a lovely idea, but like ashamed has said, you need to be economic with what you keep, especially if you have more children.

The amount of tatt we have is outrageous and dont get me started on the school jotters coming home at the end of term. What am I supposed to do with half empty books? They have about 5 each per year at least. I cannot keep them all. Think I need to get a big box and chuck them in the attic.

MollyMurphy · 27/05/2011 17:04

Your cousin should mind her own business - she was being very rude (a bit jealous perhaps). I hope you say something if she brings it up again.

I think its a lovely idea....lots of people like to scrapebook - what your doing sounds about the same.

I may just go find myself a ring binder if you don't mind.....

HugoFirst · 27/05/2011 17:07

you do sound a bit of a nob.

Idlegirl83 · 27/05/2011 17:09

My childhood scrapbooks are still kept in a safe place - I was looking through them not so long ago and I'm really glad my mum kept a record like that as they're lovely to look through. Your cousin sounds jealous!

Guitargirl · 27/05/2011 17:09

OP - P.S. You probably already know that scrapbooking is a whole industry/hobby in itself.

I used to be a member of this site:

www.ukscrappers.co.uk/

Take a look to whet your appetite!

squashycreech · 27/05/2011 17:10

I think it's a great idea. People like to throw around insults when they feel inadequate themselves, don't they? Ignore her.

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 17:10

I'm sure I do, Hugo, but luckily all these other people don't think I am. And majority wins! Smile P.S Are you my cousin?

Thankyou everyone for your nice posts!

OP posts:
beamel · 27/05/2011 17:12

YANBU. Sounds like a lovely project.
Your cousin picked it up of her own accord - she is a nosy cow and has no right to judge you !

NettoSuperstar · 27/05/2011 17:12

She is being mean, that a lovely thing to do.

I didn't do it though, I'd never organise my way out of a paper bag and am quite envious of those who doGrin

ProfYaffle · 27/05/2011 17:13

I don't to scrapbooking but I have got endless photobooks I've compiled of the dc. I think it's a lovely thing to do, I only started mine when dd1 was about 4 I just wish we'd done it earlier, it's lovely to look back on.

IprivateI · 27/05/2011 17:14

Well it's true, no one likes a show-offy parent. Why are you stamping your feet? You're not a child anymore. Hmm. I think there is more behind this story than you are letting on.

NettoSuperstar · 27/05/2011 17:15

Oh God, I think I'm the woman who wouldn't be left in charge of a chickenBlush

Sometimes I wonder how I was let home from the hospital with a baby.

I can't keep a plant alive for more than a week.

kakapo · 27/05/2011 17:16

Who are you to dictate what the OP does Hugo? Should she do 'cool' things she doesn't enjoy, just to please people like you? Then she WOULD be a knob. She's not doing anyone any harm, doing the things she likes.

Go for it OP. If you want to avoid this type of jealous and mean comment though, I would make sure you put the scrapbook on a shelf/in a cupboard when not being used in future Smile

Groovee · 27/05/2011 17:17

Ds was at nursery and made himself a maths sheet of 1+1=2, 2+2=4 etc and the nursery teacher had ticked it for him. I left it on my computer table and put stuff on top of it. But along came dh's SIL who must have gone through my computer table and found it and in my house went mental saying there was no way my son could have done that! Dd said it wasn't hers. She called me a liar etc and apparently when they got home wanted to teach her son who is 5 months older than mine to do it but her dh put a stop to it and told her it wasn't important and that he'd seen dd playing schools with ds when he popped in one day and that dd didn't do it when she went to school.

Some people just don't know when they overstep the mark of invading privacy and I found her to be downright rude and competitive about it all. It was a fecking piece of paper with some work he'd done!!!

kakapo · 27/05/2011 17:17

Oh and tell your cousin that noseying through stuff at people's houses and then calling them names while you are their guest is incredibly rude. Presumably rudeness doesn't go well with the other mums either?

JimmyChooChoo · 27/05/2011 17:18

Sequins-sounds lovely!
Would you mind sending me the links to?Would love to do this with my ds who is 3 very soon.Would love to do more of these type of things with him only feels nearly impossible as I have a teething 10m ds!
ThanksSmile

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 17:18

Erm, Iprivate I didn't literally stamp my feet. I don't usually do that in real life tbh. There is nothing behind this story, apart from possibly the revelation that I'm quite a nerd!

OP posts:
slovenlydotcom · 27/05/2011 17:20

isn 't the posting of the great detail smug and show offy though?

'I have a folder of dd's work' would have explained it sufficiently. Now people are telling you what a wonderful mum you are, job done.

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 17:21

Ok, slovenly, I'm sorry. Oh god, I really am coming across as a nob! Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 17:22

But that wouldn't have explained it, because that's not why she thought I was smug. So that wouldn't have explained it properly. I really don't mean to come across that way.

OP posts:
MillyR · 27/05/2011 17:25

I am envious of you OP and thinks it sounds like a really nice thing to do. Mine are 10 and 13 and I wish I had a scrapbook like that to look back on.

I don't think you are smug at all. Some people do the same thing as blogs on the internet, which they then have linked to other people's blogs who do the same thing. It is a great way of sharing ideas, but obviously more appropriate for older kids who want to use a computer.

As for whoever said nobody likes a show-off parent, I do. My SIL was going on recently about how well her DD had done, and I'm proud of both DN for doing so well and of SIL for being a lovely mum who supports her DD.

slovenlydotcom · 27/05/2011 17:27

you are not coming across as a nob!

actually I have all the calenders my children have ever made at nursery on my dining room wall. All 7 of them. and pictures in my utility room and all over the kitchen.

people must come to my house and think ffs Grin

beesimo · 27/05/2011 17:31

slovelydotcom

I don't know about OP but I admit it I actually AM smug and show offy sometimes it used to be called being proud of your bairns and why not, we teach our DDs to be proud don't we why shouldn't Mams be proud too.

Ditablue · 27/05/2011 17:33

Hey OP you are not a snob - I also think people who pass judgement on others when they are in your house are extremely rude and should learn some manners.

My DD is 19mths old and I would love to have some great activities and ideas of things we can do together - could you PM me some of the websites you use? Promise I won't call you smug :)

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