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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset at my cousin calling me 'smug and show-offy'?

112 replies

SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 16:48

I am neither

Basically, I have a ring binder, which I keep things in that I want to do with DD. E.g I print a lot of things off the internet like activity ideas, colouring sheets, craft templates etc and put them in this folder organised by topic So that I know I always have things for us to do, activity wise, and it's useful because DD is 2 and a half and starting to develop interests in things and enjoys doing arty crafty stuff. I also keep in there the pictures that she does, and the completed activities etc, and like a 'journal' of things we do, days outs', our 'projects', pictures of thing's we've baked and how we made them etc. I have fun putting it together, as I enjoy doing things on the computer and DD is my PFB. DD also likes looking through it and decorating the pages with stickers etc.

Anyway I'm rambling.

DH also likes to look at it, to see what she's been doing, because he doesn't get to see her during the week. Grandparents also like to have a look at what new things she's done. But I never get it out, and say 'please look at all of the things I do with DD', never.

So this is the thing, my cousin saw it on the desk, and PICKED IT UP OF HER OWN ACCORD, and looked through it. Smirking and raising eyebrows.

She then went on to ask me what the point was in it, and that I come across as rather smug and 'be careful when DD starts school, the other parents won't like a show off'. Blush

I was quite hurt actually because I would never intentionally show it to people, to show off. It's my project with DD, and it's nice doing topics with her and coming up with different ideas for each one. And I just like keeping a record of it to look through. I am very geeky and enjoy that kind of thing Grin

So please, tell me that she was being mean!

This post is not me being smug or show-offy, so please, nobody say that.

OP posts:
slovenlydotcom · 27/05/2011 17:33

beesimo, do you know I was just thinking the exact same thing, why are we afraid to say 'my kids are brilliant' we get people doing that by stealth which is when I think it gets up people's noses-why don't we just say that

MinnieBar · 27/05/2011 17:36

Do you also have a FB album just of pictures of said activities? If so, I might know you...

1Catherine1 · 27/05/2011 17:40

OP - I think you now need to make a post to share all these said activities... no point us other less organised mothers reinventing the wheel and all Wink

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 17:41

Thankyou for the nice posts, and it's nice to see that other people have done similar things! Smile I will PM those of you that have asked later on.

Erm, minniebar, I do have a FB album containing a few pictures of her doing things like that, but it's not specifically just of those, and it's only a few of them, I would never put all of them on there because then I would be showy offy! Grin What's the name of the FB album?

OP posts:
sleepingsowell · 27/05/2011 17:42

I think it sounds lovely! Don't listen to your cousin. It will be a lovely record of this time in your lives

Think this thread could only have been started by the mum of a 2 yr old girl though

If I had done one of these books with DS at the same age it would have consisted of
"art I have done - (Blank, as pen being used on bedroom wall instead)
craft projects - (blank, as had to dash off to A and E to get the pen top out of nose)
Insects I have killed/eaten (this page pretty full)
toys I have broken (again, full)
Times I have nearly run into the road (oh, how we laughed)

etc etc you get the picture Grin

beesimo · 27/05/2011 17:46

sleepingsowell

I would like my chicken back please!

only joking!

LillyTheMinx · 27/05/2011 17:46

I think it's a wonderful idea. It'll be great for DD to look back at when she's older. I may have to steal the idea.

NellieForbush · 27/05/2011 17:47

She is mean and jealous. In a few years with a couple of more dc you may not have time so its nice if you can do it while you can.

You sound super organised!

ShirleyKnot · 27/05/2011 17:50

It sounds lovely. Ignore the po's

RunsWithScissors · 27/05/2011 17:52

Ooh, can I get copied in on the PM? Love the idea!!! And no, YANBU. If she didn't like what she found, maybe she should stop snooping!

MinnieBar · 27/05/2011 17:53

It's called 'Crafty Tuesdays' or similar?

saffy85 · 27/05/2011 17:56

Tell her to do one.

Seriously, I'd love to be that organised and I'm sure my DD would too.

Goblinchild · 27/05/2011 17:58

I think it sounds lovely, but I'm a teacher and I did a lot of similar things with both of mine over the years. I could have said I was trying things out before doing them in class, but the truth is I just like sharing stuff with my children.
You are a twit if you feel the need to be defensive about enjoying activities with your child and sharing ideas with her, or if snottier folk think you are being smug. That's their own issues surfacing I think.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 27/05/2011 17:58

You don't sound like a nob. All you're doing is unintentionally making some other people feel guilty for not doing the same Wink. That includes your cousin, who does sound like a nob!

It sounds lovely. Ignore her.

RubyGrace17 · 27/05/2011 18:04

I do a very similar thing for my daughters so I definitely don't think you're being unreasonable. I like to think of it as a way my girls can look back on their childhood when they're older, perhaps even when they have children of their own. I also love doing things like that, the teacher in me loves crafty projects and organising things!

However, I have recently had my third and it's getting much more difficult to keep on top of it, just to warn you! I'm considering going back to work and I'd like to hand them over to the nanny to allow them to be continued. Of course, I'd still add to it from evenings and weekends too :)

Ruby

ilovedora27 · 27/05/2011 18:08

We do these for every child at our nursery and unlike sleepingsowell the boys always have as much work in as the girls. They do so much at that age and I think there is nothing better than looking through the books at the memories.

wordfactory · 27/05/2011 18:15

Hmmm...I'm not sure really.
I can see why you like doing it, but to be honest it strikes me a bit like those lifestyle blogs where everything is perfect and 'talked up'. No mention of disasterous days where evryone was grumpy or had a sore throat...and that for me is what makes a proper family life.
Sorry.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/05/2011 18:19

She's jealous and reply with 'i'm sure dd will be grateful when she's older and her own children can look through it' Wink

I'd be jealous too, wish I was more organised, in fact if I could go back in time i'd take more photos and splash in more puddles Sad

pink4ever · 27/05/2011 18:29

Omg I thought this was a troll thread but I see from number of posts that its actually real!! Tbh I think I would have had a similiar reaction to your cousin. It is you showing off because I think at your 2 years of age your dd couldnt really care less if you do these things or not. And you post them on fbHmm.

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 19:26

That's not me then MinnieBar Smile Like I said earlier, I don't put on FB about the specific things we do, I just have a few random pics on there for family to see etc.

Thankyou for all the nice replies, I feel much better about it now, I was starting to feel like a complete prat!

wordfactory Oh I don't try and pretend life is perfect, in fact many areas of my life are not perfect, so for me it feels good to sometimes focus on the nice things that me & DD do together. And I think they are the things DD will want to look back on when she's older.

pink4ever What would be the trollish motive behind this thread? Confused I wouldn't say it's particuarly inflamatory! You are of course entitled to your opinion about this, but the one thing that is definitely wrong is where you say DD couldn't care less if I do these things or not. Of course she would happily live without the scrapbook etc, but she does get a lot out of the art & craft we do, and the baking. At 2.5 they are her favourite things, and she asks to do them. So that part of your post is incorrect.

OP posts:
slovenlydotcom · 27/05/2011 19:32

She would also get a lot out of jumping in puddles and doing the grocery shop with you: I think the point that was being made was that a high level of structure is not needed at that age.

ShirleyKnot · 27/05/2011 19:32

PO'S

Original poster
SequinsAndSparkles · 27/05/2011 19:37

But we do those things too slovenly - all the time!

OP posts:
posterofagirl · 27/05/2011 19:39

I think it's lovely and your DD will love it when she's older.
I did this for a number of the teenagers I cared for and just put the nice stuff in so they have something positive to look back on.
TBH at the time it was more important for me to focus on the positives but I know a few of them who are now in thier early 20's and still have these little books of stuff they did when they were mardy teens.

cunexttuesonline · 27/05/2011 20:04

I love the idea of this, I will start one for DS (2.3yo), he has a nursery folder very similar to what you describe with their ideas for next things to do with him, his interests, observations on him, photos and his art. but I never thought to do one at home!

If you can point me in the direction of good websites for activities etc I would be grateful!

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