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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for examples of helicopter parenting

236 replies

lesley33 · 27/05/2011 15:25

I am amazed at how over protective some parents are. For example, my 14 year old nephew is not allowed to be outside without a supervising adult. He is desperate to join his friends who play football on some grass right outside his house, but his mum won't let him as she is worried about what could happen to him.

What are the worst examples of helicopter parenting that you have come across?

OP posts:
thisisourtime · 27/05/2011 19:03

My friend did a PGCE a few years ago and she said at her interview to get on the course nearly all of the other candidates were there in the waiting room with their parents.

21/22 year olds with their parents sitting in the waiting room with them while they waited for their names to be called. I can understand maybe some of the parents were giving lifts - but surely you'd wait in the canteen or a cafe in town?

cat64 · 27/05/2011 19:07

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MillyR · 27/05/2011 19:08

Damn. Is there nothing as a parent I can excel at?

carabos · 27/05/2011 19:14

My colleague has a babysitter for her (almost) 16 yr old DD..... and doesn't let either this DD or her DS (12) out of her sight in her own garden. Neither is allowed to travel on the school bus because this means walking to the bus stop unaccompanied (which is in sight of the house). There's more......

exoticfruits · 27/05/2011 19:20

The good thing is that once they go to university the parent simply can't get any information.

LeQueen · 27/05/2011 19:21

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magicmelons · 27/05/2011 19:22

Friends of ours wouldn't let their 12 year old ds climb the not the apple tree in the garden Hmm my five year old does it and jumps out of it.

animula · 27/05/2011 19:24

Me: Taking ds to a fun-fair and describing the scarier rides. No way was my PFB going on one of those things.

gordongrumblebum · 27/05/2011 19:28

I personnally think it's helicopterish to accompany your 18 year old to uni open days. There are such things as trains and buses, and there is always transport provided at the destination.

I sent mine off alone, because I knew that we would not agree on appeal-factors...and it's not me who has to spend 3 years there.

LaWeasel · 27/05/2011 19:36

gordongrumblebum I found most parents went with their kids because it is much much cheaper to drive than to use public transport. Especially if you're going to visit quite a few you could spend a fortune!

LeQueen · 27/05/2011 19:37

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exoticfruits · 27/05/2011 19:40

And when their kids escape to university they're never, ever going to willingly come back...

I shouldn't think they will see them for dust!
I am having trouble seeing why you need a babysitter for a nearly 16yr old-most DCs of that age are already babysitting as a job!

pigletmania · 27/05/2011 19:41

God carabos and LaQueen how dreadful, poor kids, hope that I am not like that, I really don't want to be Grin

gordongrumblebum · 27/05/2011 19:44

Far enough LaWeasel - but why do so many go in with them?

LeQueen · 27/05/2011 19:45

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exoticfruits · 27/05/2011 19:50

It sees a bit strange that she is nearly school leaving age-could join the army but can't be left for a few hours in the evening!

Oblomov · 27/05/2011 19:54

Oh God, there was the best Uni-helicopter-parent thread EVER, a few years ago, I think. Will try and find.

carabos · 27/05/2011 19:55

exotic - this almost 16 year old does babysit for other children - her mum goes with her.....

LeQueen · 27/05/2011 19:56

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

carabos · 27/05/2011 19:56

oh and the babysitter comes after school, not just for evening babysitting - the almost -16 yr old and her brother can't be left for an hour until mum gets in from work.

AbigailS · 27/05/2011 19:58

My example of helicopter parenting is:
The parent who takes a job as midday supervisor at school, then follows her child around all lunchtime. Her role requires supervising in the dining hall, but as soon as DD has finished eating and goes to the playground so does mum. It drives the team leader nuts and despite "direction" it continues. Said mum told team leader "I'm only here for my kid". Trouble is we are SO short of lunchtime staff it was tempting to keep her on. The mum supervises all her DD's games and make sure her friends follow the rules and do as her DD tells them - then complains to class teacher when other children don't want to play with DD.

redpanda13 · 27/05/2011 20:00

While on holiday last year there was a grim faced Spanish woman who marched her 3 children down to the toddler pool for a 5 min swim in a circle every day. They were about 12, 10 and 8. All wore armbands too. Once the 5 mins were up they were marched back upstairs.
There were some little boys about 3 splashing each other one day. One accidently splashed the oldest girl. Mother went crazy despite daughter wearing a swimsuit and goggles. She complained to the boys father who told her they were only having fun and to chase herself. So she got the lifeguard. It was hilarious! Lifeguard pointed out it was a pool for the little tots to play in. So pleased my mum can understand Spanish.

Docbunches · 27/05/2011 20:07

I know of a boy who, when he started Secondary school, his mum used to walk about 10 metres behind him following him to school, every day for several weeks (they used to go past my house, in case anyone thinks I'm making it up!).

The boy was always with a group of his friends, so god only knows what the mum thought might happen to him. It must have been beyond mortifying for the poor lad.

sungirltan · 27/05/2011 20:13

dh is the worst helpicopter parent i have met so far! he works away most of the time but when he's here he can be mad with it sometimes.

examples....dd was blw exclusively and has never needed help to eat anything - i catch dh leaning over her with a spoon constantly. the only times he doesnt do it are in restaurants because he wants to show off dd's eating skills!

he wont let dd stand up in the bath - i let her and have never stopped her but then i have never left her in there either. i can hear dh nagging her constantly when he baths her.

when i am on my own i give dd all sorts of non toy items to look at/play with so i can finish whatever i'm doing (usually bottles/hairbrushes/you get the idea) everything i dont want her to touch is beyond her reahc - the rest is fair game. dh cannot bear this and follows her around taking everything away - funnily enough he finds this exhausting whereas dd plays with a pair of sunglasses and i get to dry my hair when i'm on my own.

i have just met a mum at our baby yoga class who is going to be much worse though - even dh was shocked! her ds was 1 and picking up all the toys constantly (thats kind of the point!) and mum is saying 'no no' all the time and taking them away from him. this child cannot walk so he can hardly make a run for it!

BeardofZeus · 27/05/2011 20:18

Blimey! Where do all these crazy parents come from? I would have been absolutely mortified if my parents ever made scenes such as these! AGH! Awful.....