How old should little boys be when they use the men's room instead of the Ladies' room with Mum?

[missinglalaland]

I only have two girls, so I don't know the ins and outs of parenting boys. Sometimes I am surprised at the height and age of boys being steered into the "ladies" room by their mothers. Often with Fathers waiting outside!!! (Lazy gits.) I am thinking that in a place like a train station you should expect to see mum's being fairly protective, but I get a bit annoyed in places like National Trust toilets, when the boys seem embarrassed/interested.

What's the proper etiquette?

Beta but then your blocking up the one and only toilet someone who is disabled can use .And what would you do if the disabled toilets are locked which fair few are only open with radar

It is a tricky one i do not deny that maybe they need a family looThat does not need to be as big as adisabled toilet but just where mum or dad could check

I often take my DS into the ladies toilets with me because he has SN and can't go alone. I don't see the issue really, like others have said, all you see is a woman going into a cubicle.

yeah depends on situation, though ds used to go on his own in the underground loos in soho

maybe we should have family toilets

and couldn't really care less to see a boy in the girls loos

TheHumanCatapult - DW stands outside the disabled loo while DSs go in and and never once has inconvenienced a disabled person. Really. Never once.

Gents loos are very unfriendly to small boys and not because other men are there.

Meant to say, he's 9 so probably a bit "old" accordingto most of you, but I can honestly say I get an awful lot less funny looks for taking him to the ladies than I do taking him into the disabled loos because his disability is invisible. Sad that society is like that really but if I have to justify using a disabled toilet one more time I think I'll lose my temper. Also, not everywhere we go has disabled facilities nearby and when he needs to go he needs to go.

Quite a lot of the disabled toilets I've been in have nappy changing facilities in them so surely it should be ok for families to use if needed as long as it isn't inconveniencing a disabled person?

I think I have my answer. The consensus is aged 8, unless there are extenuating circumstances. This seems reasonable to me. Thanks.

Lots of disabled loos round here have the changing table/nappy bins in and are also the 'family' loo. I'm pretty sure it's the case in our local NT place too.

My DH was on his own with our 5 year old dd so took her into the gents. A man came in and told him he thought it was disgusting having a girl in the gents- he refused to go to the toilet until dh had taken her out. What was he supposed to do? - she's too young to go in the toilets alone in my opinion.

I agree with muffinflop.

The op sounds overly protective of her two girls by wondering when boys shouldn't be in the ladies' loos. Are Mums' of boys not allowed to be protective of their sons?

It's a bit more scary for a boy to be approached by a man in the loos than it is for a girl to be in the loos with her mum and a boy walks in. Why doesn't the op use her common sense and realise this rather than the "I only have girls so I don't know about boys" nonsense.

Getting annoyed about it and saying that some of the boys look embarrassed is a bit skewed. Perhaps you should concentrate more on your own girls rather than staring at the boys in the loos. I bet any boy being stared at by a women who looks annoyed would be uncomfortable.

..and yes there are a lot of tall boys out there who may be younger than they look.

I am not sending my 7 year old Ds into the mens toilet alone, I don't care what anybody says and there are some mens toilets I wouldn't let my 9 yo go into alone.

BunnyWunny, I agree that children are too young at 5 to manage alone in public toilets. It's lucky that women are more tolerant of boys in the Ladies than this man was of girls in the gents! Perhaps women are used to lower standards of comfort and privacy than men generally?

I agree Journey I do sometimes wonder about mothers who only have girls.

Perhaps women are used to lower standards of comfort and privacy than men generally?

What are you going on about? So mothers of sons should send them off into the mens, even if they are not comfortable with it just because your little princess is in the vicinity.

this makes me laugh so much. We all share loos at home, why is it so weird to have a boy in a public loo?!

My DH certainly doesn't think it's over protective to either take DS into the ladies if he's not there or use disabled loo if we don't think we'll be inconveniencing anyone. I think it depends on the child (as do so many things) - DS is not a streetwise child, he would be truly un-equipped to deal with a weirdo. Of which DH has met a few over the years in the men's (maybe he's just unlucky )

Lower standards of privacy? I don't understand why some women are uncomfortable with boys in the toilet. Can someone enlighten me? I know my 6 year old DS doesn't have X-ray vision so can't actually see you behind the closed door. I'm pretty sure he's seen people washing and drying their hands before....

DS2, 10, goes alone

ds1 comes with me most of the time (very rarely I am with him out without DH) as he has invisible SN

All well saying use disbaled but we get refused that as well as he looks NT (ASD)

He should grow out of it; ds3 will always need assistance and whilst he is a little more obvious we were recently refused a key in MacDonalds.

If a disabled toilet is also labelled family loo there is no issue, becuase it is a family loo.

Obviously.

DS is 7, so I let him go alone in small non busy places like some shops or supermarkets, but he comes in with me in airports or train stations.

Yeah, my two boys were about 7 yrs when they first went into the mens room. My youngest is now 10 yrs...
I get worried if they dont appear soon, and I am waiting outside.
Many a time I end up shouting...."Are you there ...???"

i have dd1 who is 7 she often goes out with DH without me so he takes her into the the gents when out, I would be cross with him if he let her go into the ladies alone.
As someone has already said disabled ones have baby changing facilities so obvious to me that it is classed as family loo

I have no problem with boys in the ladies. All the toilets have doors! And not letting young boys go into public toilets alone isn't hysterical, it's sensible. There are some men's toilets I wouldn't want DH to go into alone.

Surely it should be up to the little boys or their mums/dads?

If a child still wants to go in with mum or his mum thinks he's better in with her, what's the problem?

theres also a story about a boy being abused in the loo at leaminton spa sainsburys a couple of years ago. think it's a bit unsafe to send a boy in to the mens loo on his own.