to have had an abortion and feel ZERO shame or regret

[GetOrfMoiCase]

In AIBU because it is a popular topic. I know I am not being unreasonable.

Thread is in response to a report I heard on the news yesterday which was shamefully presented, regarding abortion access.

There is a thread on MN currently about it www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1222273-Chipping-away-at-abortion-rights-govt-appoints-Life-as-sexual-health-adviser

Apparently there is a twitter thingummy going around 'I had an abortion' for people to discuss guilt free abortions.

Just thought it would be appropriate to have a thread on here for people put a positive side of abortion.

My story: got pregnant 5 years ago. My dd was 10. I was in a relationship of 6 months duration and had recently started a new job. Condom failure. My partner and I agreed that we didn't want a baby, I booked an abortion and had it without a backward glance. No emotional fall out afterwards. No guilt.

"guilt free easy alternative to contraception" this is such a myth though. It isn't easy to get an abortion and it isn't a particularly pleasant procedure either. I refuse to believe that there are hundreds/thousands of women in the Country saying "ah fuck it! if I get pregnant I'll just get another termination"

I agree. Of course there will be people who think like this but I think they are a very, very small section of society. I think said earlier that last year there were 85 women who were on their 7th+ abortion. 85 women out of the whole country though is a very small percentage. In every aspect of life there are people who abuse the system, abortion is sadly no different.

"don't use it anymore then yorkie"

Sorry, I don't follow. Don't use what?

Whoop de doo, OP. You say that you know you're not being unreasonable and then you post it on AIBU asking if you are. I don't care what you do, but I don't think any woman takes the decision to abort lightly and I really dislike the tone of your OP.

"ah fuck it! if I get pregnant I'll just get another termination"

I dont know Shirley. I have a friend who has had THREE abortons, I suspoect she would have been a fuck of alot more careful had not abortion been freely available. Liekwsie, as a promiscious teen it was always there as an option. I suspect teenage girls have NO idea of harrowing it can be

I just find it sad that people take it so lightly I suppose, thats all I am trying say. It makes me feel sad. and its pretty fucking shit for the doctors and nurses that have to perform it too

i am all for abortion, but its a big fucking deal

Swallowed No, I think you are talking about somebody else. I haven't used any of those terms I think.

I thought they stopped giving abortions to women once they'd had 3? Or is that just the NHS?

Does anyone know how much it costs the NHS to provide abortions/aftercare?

I think you meant ShirleyKnot's post of Thu 26-May-11 15:45:50

Probably a lot less than the alternative of millions of unwanted children.

Was the "condom failure" that DP failed to wear one? I find it unbelievable that A a condom would fail, B the spermicide inside would not kill the sperm and C that it would happen at exactly the right time to acheive conception.

Then to come on here where there are umpteen people TTC and title the thread in the way you have . YABVU

GOMC - a timely thread and a provactive topic. I had an abortion at eighteen - my boyfriend of two years very calmly and rationally told me that while he loved me he wasn't ready for a baby. He said he would support me financially, but not emotionally. I had a lot of respect for his honesty and made a descision based around it.
I had a vague feeling of disquiet, but there was no guilt and no hysterics, despite the fact I anticipated them.
The idea that it is an 'easy guilt free alternative to contraception' is laughable.

I dont know Shirley. I have a friend who has had THREE abortons, I suspoect she would have been a fuck of alot more careful had not abortion been freely available.

See? I just find this attitude difficult to fathom. Why do you believe that she's not being "careful"? Has she said to you "oh yeah, I don't use contraceptives at all, just don't give a shit really, there's always a termination as an alternative!"

And the last few sentences belie what you are saying. If you're anti choice, just say it, rather than skirting around it. "and its pretty fucking shit for the doctors and nurses that have to perform it too"

So everyone who says they conceived through condom failure is lying. Condoms are 100% effective are they? I wonder why the condom manufacturers are doing themselves down then - you should tell them to sort out their marketing.

Worm "Then to come on here where there are umpteen people TTC and title the thread in the way you have . YABVU"

I would agree if GetOrf had posted in Conception, but she didn't.

My mother says in this day and age there's no excuse for unwanted pregnancies.

(Rape obviously excluded).

A friend of mine conceived all three of her children while taking the pill. Fortunately they wanted three children and just finished up with smaller age gaps than planned.

Or maybe she is making it up.

What kungfupanda said.

FFS.

No, you're not being unreasonable to feel no shame or regret.
Abortikon is a horrible decision to make, but sometimes seems as the lesser evil at the time.
If you had an abortion with clear reasoning, then you would remember the reasoning and know you did what you thought best.

Was is unreasonable is people having abortions, and then saying 'ohh yes I really regret it' to get sympathy, as if regreting it clears their conscience, what because they're reformed now? and they were just a sinner back then?

If you stick with the real world, you'll know abortion is actually a good thing in some situations.

The pill is different, you can't tell if it is working. For a condom to fail surely you would know? Then take appropriate action IE the morning after pill.

My mother says in this day and age there's no excuse for unwanted pregnancies

Indeed. Thanks to the availability of contraception and abortion.

Lady In some ways I agree with your mum. For example, I really, really don't want to have another baby. I have a coil for contraception, it says its 99% effective. So I'm taking a chance. We could use a condom as well every time we have sex, I could have a diaphragm fitted as well, to reduce the chances further. However, I think think that would be ridiculous.

So, I made an informed choice about our contraception and I hope it works and I don't end up the 1% who end up with a coil and pregnant.

Some people are silly with contraceptives, missing pills etc and just keeping their fingers crossed that they won't be unlucky. But others take precautions and are unlucky.

MAP failure rates are pretty high though, worm.