Our baby has been NFI to all our weddings this summer! How would you address?

[hellojude]

This is a tricky one...advice please.

We have been invited to a number of weddings this summer, however all of them have said no children. When I've check this inc babies. I've asked if we can bring our DD. Must couples have said sorry no, but if it's a problem let us know... Another has said a flat no
I fully understand no children at wedding as you have to feed them etc etc no babies....Yes it's their wedding but..WTF to me this seems unreasonable? Is it?

Our DD hasn't even had her 2 round of jabs yet. And whist I don't wish to miss any of our dear friends weddings, I don't want to leave her for 12 + hours. We don't have any family near-by and any friends who i could leave her (ie. godmother) with will be at the wedding too! And I'm not getting a sitter to look after a baby all day.

DH has said we can split the wedding, I'll go to my friends and he'll look after her and vice versa.

1. We are married and I don't want to go to a wedding without my husband.
2. We have a newborn baby and I don't want to leave her.
3. Everyone loves babies and IMO surely would bring great joy at a wedding

I really don't make to be 'that' person who makes the brides life a pain as planning a wedding is tough. I know I've done it. But should I make a stand and say, I'm sorry but I can't come without my baby??

Dam and blast it's tough, what would you all done / say?

TIA

p.s) none of these couples have children...I'm sure in a few years they will 'get it' so to speak.

Where does all this extra money per baby come from? I got married in a very posh five star hotel and babies were free (just a small charge for children over 2...)? I actually WANTED children at my wedding, and asked all we knew, but we didn't know many people with them at the time...!
Since then, DD1 was excluded from two weddings we were invited to as guests. The first I went to without her was a real faff, I had to beg a friend to have her for 12 hours, and I missed her awfully. But we went anyway, and it was absolutely no children and a very grown-up, adult, formal wedding reception. I can understand why they didn't have children with the venue chosen.
The second time, I had to travel and leave DD1 overnight with relatives which was horrible. But then I turned up and blow me, there were several other babies there DD's age (one actually ON my table in a highchair!!!). They apparently were all babies whose parents said they couldn't go otherwise. I had a sodding miserable day at the reception, esp since DH had been held up abroad and I'd had to buy him an extra flight and he made it just for the evening part. I missed DD awfully, made worse by all the other babies in attendance, and I vowed then and there to never be in that position again.
And so, we just turn down anything we can't take the children to.
....Mind you, if I'd been invited to the Royal Wedding, I may have made an exception.

I said no children at my wedding as money and space was tight and it was in a pub- not suitable for children. In the event, one couple left their children at home, a cousin brought his baby and left early (baby was very good) and another couple brought their toddler. Said toddler ran around and shouted throughout my whole wedding ceremony. I think children are best left at home- I left my 6 month old recently so I could go. If you don't want to leave your little one, then don't go.

By all means don't go to your friends' wedding if you don't want to go without your DH, but it would be unfair to stop your DH from going to his friends' wedding.

Married or not, you are not joined at the hip.

startail really we had a fab time at my wedding and all the parents thanked me as they could have a drink and a dance with out having to worry.

why would they want hand me downs personally i like all new stuff for new babies and why would the need help from the op i presume they have a family that attended the wedding and with out any moaning at that

I wouldn't go and would say why

but they would cease to be "dear friends" of mine

I find it unforgiveably rude that anyone would invite a mother to attend a wedding without her newborn

they might as well not have invited you at all

and people who exclude whole sectors of society from "their day" make my teeth itch anyway. Self-absorbed idiots. I hope they will have the grace to be ashamed of themselves later, when they have grown up.

not all venues have a child goes free policy mine would of been £60 a head for children several people had more than 3 children allowing two people to bring their kids would of meant 10 extra people at my wedding alone i just didn't want the extra cost

also every one thinks their child is well behaved but frankly some of my friends have naughty children and i didn't want them at my wedding to be honest.

i think its mad for 18 years you will expect everone the whole family weather you have 1 child or 10 to be invited to everything everyone has some events are for kids some are not grow up

As Maypole1 says, it's probably based on the fact that they can't afford to feed/seat all their guest's children, so they've had to say no children at all. If they make exceptions for babies, there's always someone who will whinge that it's totally unfair that hellojude was allowed to bring her DD

I'm puzzled. Does anyone but the bride actually enjoy weddings?

There are 3 things I find bizarre here.

1. Not letting a tiny baby come to a wedding.
2. thinking that everyone loves babies and
3. not wanting to go without your other half "because you are married" Why does being married mean you can;t go places on your own?

HeadfirstForHalos Pmsl @ 'pushing a turd at him'

op- you have given lots of reasons why you dont want to leave dd.

so dont- its as simple as that.

you have no right to expect others to change their minds.

your husband has come with a solution

you will find the next 16 years is full of decisions like this- get used to it!

I feel really sorry for you op. Its rotten to have to miss a number of weddings, especially if you were looking forward to them and especially if you are close friends with the happy couple. It is a shame, and the perfect example of how life suddenly changes when you become a parent and other peoples needs have to be taken into consideration. I expect your childfree friends will have a different perspective on this in a few years time if they go on to become parents themselves.

My child free wedding certainly wasn't 'stuffy' 'boring' 'pretentious' or any of those stupid assumptions made by those who get pissy because their wonderful bundle of vomit/poo/screaming is excluded. It was probably better due to not having Mumzillas who think their brat is the begining and end of the world there in fact.

inthesticks - I love weddings.
Would rather not go than take my DCs tbh!

nice name you have there Bimbo

Lequeen is of course correct that the bride and groom are within their rights. There is, sadly, no law against being a self-involved tosser who is terrified of sharing a crumb of the limelight on Their Day with the newborn and breast-fed offspring of their friends and family.

Personally I would be glad of the heads-up that the happy couple were overgrown toddlers who regarded their loved ones as pieces on a chess board to be moved around and given pointless unreasonable orders and restrictions. Years of potential wasted time and effort saved in one poncy invitation :)

YABU.

I'm sure the thread has moved on since I stopped reading, but not everyone loves children. What a bizarre comment. Why would everyone love children?

Why can't you go without your DH, just because you're married? Don't you ever go places without him?

Sorry, but your OP reads very oddly to me. It's the bride and groom's day, not yours or your children's.

Oh piss off what the hell have you really got so little to contribute that you need to resort to attacking people's user names?

I'm going to a child free wedding in 2 weeks.

Can't wait! Booked a lovely spa hotel and my Mother and Father are babysitting.

Ha ha bimbo
do you have kids?
You sound lovely

Saidthespider with an attitude like that it's YOU who sounds like an overgrown toddler. Bet you would sqweam and sqweam until you are sick if such an invite was to land on your mat.

I've never been invited to a wedding where children weren't allowed. Thank god

My friends and family actually like babies and children.

I would just send a "sorry we cannot attend" card. Noone should be asked to leave a very young baby for 12 hours.

I went to Bimbo's wedding and it was bloody brilliant (sorry about the incident on the dance floor though - please pass my apologies on to your FIL).

Ummmm, what does "NFI" stand for?

Get a grip. Nobody needs to be glued to their husband/kids 24/7 and fun and enjoyment can be found away from them y'know