How on earth do I stop mil ringing at this time of the morning?

[janejon]

My mil keeps rings us at 6 am whenever she wants to talk to my dh (sometimes earlier!). She does this because she thinks my husband gets up early- he used to, but does not have to get up this early anymore (fortunately). I mean b*s to my still being asleep and everything but that's another story...

Anyway, I'm absolutely sick of this- dh won't confront her (again another story, she won't 'remember' apparently ) but I have really, really got to stop this cap. I mean who in their right mind rings at this time anyway? (unless really, really important and not just* for a 'chat'?) Please, folks, how can I stop this. Sneaky tricks accepted as long as not illegal!!

People are either running around like anything getting ready for work or, if not, asleep. So why do this anyway?! At end of tether regarding this particular issue. Help.

It's working, valium. I am so pissed off that I am actually ignoring the housework I should be doing, in order to keep up with this thread.

What do you mean "How can I possibly know who I've given my mobile number to in case of emergencies? Shall I make a list or what?!"?

How many people could there reasonanly be who would need to call you in the middle of the night ? You're losing perspective now I think.

I can see your point about MIL not listening to you but your blinkered attitude to emergency calls is whats stopping you implementing the totally obvious solution of turning the ringer down - please expand more on who you think might need to call you.

x-posts with Bartimeaus - just tell us about the emergencies for heaven's sake.

Not just twitching, valium - I abandoned the mirror I was polishing. It's torture, I tell you!!

OK, I've bombed her phone, I've bombed her mobile phone, the mobile phone shops within a 10-mile radius of her home. Her daughter's phone, her son-in-laws' phones, her neighbour's phone, her neighbour's budgie's phone. The phone of that guy she once had sex with behind the bushes went out with when she was a student's phone. His wife's phone. His wife's sister's phone. Their great niece who lives in Spain (but visits once a year for Christmas- but only when she can get away) EVERYBODY'S PHONE. ALL F*CKING BOMBED. Happy now? I am.

What's bombing?

Agree with Barimaeus and caughtinanet. For a period of two weeks, tell close friends and family to call you on your mobile if there is an emergency.
Then turn off your home phone ringer at night and put it on at a reasonable time in the morning. I'm sure it will take only a few days for your mil to get the message.
Do you think your dh will be displeased? Only reason why I can think of for all this pussyfooting around.

Well, I think you should divorce your husband for unreasonable behaviour, leave the country, just in case and never give your phone number out to any person ever ever again

I've said all I can say regarding this issue. So thanks to all for responding.

I asked the question of how to deal with this and my overall impression is that there are things I can do using technology and 'training' her. Although I have to say that the lack of understanding in people who do not realise that in certain circumstances TELLING /asking will not work is something I find a bit astonishing- all I can think is that everybody does what they want them to or something.
Although, I do agree that I should tell her having thought about it- but it is for my own conscience and piece of mind more than anything and NOT because she will actually listen to me.

I don't know why people use the 'just tell her' argument (in the expectation that the person who is being told will obey) as it is usually pretty obvious that a person has usually thought of that and dismissed it - I mean why would I have posted her in first place if it just boiled down to just telling/ asking her? As I would do if she were a reasonable person. Also, surely the fact that she rings at this time highlights her basic unreasonability? It tells you a little about her stubbornness and ' my way or no way' attitude does it not?

I think because you'd not tried it, OP. And sometimes people react in ways that surprise you. You've been clearer now, but originally it was coming across like "she rings at 6am and is therefore an unreasonable person and therefore there is no point asking/telling her not to ring at 6am" which, if true, would mean that nobody would ever ask anyone to change their behaviour.

And really, as a first option, it's not exactly going to do any harm, is it? You tell her, she ignores you, status quo remains. So you might as well, even if you'll feel like a fool if it turns out that easy.

And because of SDTG's reason - the telling is not in expectation that it will solve all, but as a first shot across the bow before employing the technology weapons (and/or bombs).

I'm really sorry about the loss of your grandfather, by the way. That must have been hard.

but you have never explained what her response has been to your dh or yourself commenting on the time she calls...!!

Bombing?

I think we are all meant to be mind readers

Tortoise, you're so wise :o

OP, people are getting annoyed because at first you gave the impression that neither of you had mentioned that it was a problem to her, thus people wondering how she was supposed to be a mindreader and then because you seemed to dismiss the idea without even wanting to try it, when it could have been the one thing she was prepared to be reasonable about and stopped calling that early if you'd just mentioned it. If not, you haven't lost anything and can go from there by telling her you will turn your phone off/call divert/not answer/whatever if she continues.

FWIW, I think it's a little unfair to just turn phone off/stop answering/etc without even mentioning it first, as she is then within her rights to ask why you hadn't just told her it was a problem when she realises what you're doing and risk making yourselves look like the unreasonable ones.

Just because she is usually unreasonable, it doesn't mean you have to be and it's always best to maintain the moral high ground :)

Is this STILL going?

I think the OP should get an award of some sort.
Biggest thread for smallest problem or something....

I really need to know what bombing is before I can let this thread die

Yes OP I think we are all starting to understand what its like dealing with a pychotic person who just wont listen to repeted demands....

I have an excellent and highly unethical suggestion which utilises technology and doesn't involve telling her not to phone or missing emergency calls.

What you need is caller ID and call redirection. Then when you go to bed, you set the phone to redirect the call to another number. You can either choose someone you know won't mind being called at 6am (realise this may be a long shot), or you can choose someone else you think deserves to be rung at 6am (now you're disappointed you only have one MIL, I can tell ).

If it's not MIL you can see on the caller display and answer it. If it is, you can just let it redirect the call. Then someone else can try and tell her it's too early. Problem solved

Dita and everyone else who has asked, the OP is using 'bomb' in a literal sense. As in, if she bombs every phone in the MIL's vicinity, it will solve the problem. She was responding, jokingly, to accusations that she hadn't done enough.

So what happened this morning when she rang OP?

Thank you Tortoise I did wonder that shortly after I pressed submit I thought it might be some sort of young person's technical term though. In which case, OP, that was a very funny post, even if it did go right over my head

ring her at 4am and ask if she
is awake?

Re Musicposy's suggestion, does your MIL have a mobile phone, OP?

why not just redirect it to your dh's mobile? and he can leave it switched off...