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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How on earth do I stop mil ringing at this time of the morning?

338 replies

janejon · 23/05/2011 11:53

My mil keeps rings us at 6 am whenever she wants to talk to my dh (sometimes earlier!). She does this because she thinks my husband gets up early- he used to, but does not have to get up this early anymore (fortunately). I mean b*s to my still being asleep and everything but that's another story...

Anyway, I'm absolutely sick of this- dh won't confront her (again another story, she won't 'remember' apparently Hmm) but I have really, really got to stop this cap. I mean who in their right mind rings at this time anyway? (unless really, really important and not just* for a 'chat'?) Please, folks, how can I stop this. Sneaky tricks accepted as long as not illegal!! Wink

People are either running around like anything getting ready for work or, if not, asleep. So why do this anyway?! At end of tether regarding this particular issue. Help.

OP posts:
Original poster
janejon · 24/05/2011 10:13

OK, stayingDavidTennantsgirl, that's reasonable. Will do that. Nothing left to say. So thanks all.

OP posts:
Mumofaflump · 24/05/2011 10:16

Phone up BT/TalkTalk/insert service provider here and ask them to divert MIL's landline number to her mobile and her mobile number to her landline.

That way whenever she calls you, she'll be phoning herself!

mrsbunnthebaker · 24/05/2011 10:26

So to recap:

  1. unplug phone
  2. ask her not to phone
  3. let call go to ansafone (will still wake you and she will probs keep ringing)
  4. Ignore it - as number 3
  5. Answer it and carry on as before
exoticfruits · 24/05/2011 11:11

I bet if MIL were to read the thread she would say 'why on earth didn't they say, it used to be a good time and I didn't realise it had changed'!
All these posts when you could just politely ask her to phone later!

Original poster
janejon · 24/05/2011 11:18

exoticfruits The only way she could possibly justify ringing at that hour (I mean bugger my sleep pattern by waking ME upHmm) was my husband got up early. He now gets up later and she IS -repeat IS- aware of this fact. She is aware of this. Repeat AWARE of fact that he gets up later.

Also, I think you are trying to wind me up because I have said repeatedly over and over that she will not listen to being told (although I have come around to idea that I must give her one final last warning -just as you would a naughty child). I know it is pointless, really, but I can at least say that I did warn her.

You must live in a very, very nice world if just 'telling' somebody gets them to do it for you every bloody time! Hmm.

If my mil was a reasonable person, she wouldn't really be ringing at this time KNOWING-as she does- that my husband no longer gets up so early. She is either completely thick or just trying to annoy us.

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 24/05/2011 11:20

but what IS HER RESPONSE when your dh tells her that he would perfer her not to ring at that time as it has woken up the children??

Original poster
janejon · 24/05/2011 11:21

How can you fight UNreasonableness with reason? [confused}

OP posts:
Original poster
janejon · 24/05/2011 11:21

I have said that the children's rooms are out of earshot of phone.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 24/05/2011 11:21

In that case don't answer!! If she keeps ringing and ringing tell her you don't answer the phone before you get up. No need to be unpleasant.

valiumredhead · 24/05/2011 11:24

Oh come on OP, stop making such a meal out of this. Just don't answer the phone.

exoticfruits · 24/05/2011 11:25

Don't enter arguments and explanations-just tell her, pleasantly, you don't take early morning phone calls. Don't explain or justify.

ensure · 24/05/2011 11:28

Why don't you simply all go to bed earlier and get up at 6?

SuburbanDream · 24/05/2011 11:30

Can't believe I have read all this!! Ok, so she will not listen to reason. She can continue calling you at 6am but you DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER. Tell her politely that you will not be answering the phone before 8am or whatever time you think is reasonable. Turn the ringer off when you go to bed and she can still leave a message when she calls. I understand about emergencies, just make sure everyone who needs to be able to contact you has your mobile. It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.

exoticfruits · 24/05/2011 11:37

Exactly SuburbanDream-there is no problem.

piprabbit · 24/05/2011 11:38

I'm starting to think that selective hearing is a family trait.

valiumredhead · 24/05/2011 11:40
Grin
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 24/05/2011 11:40

Come on everyone, give janejon a break. She's said she will tell her MIL to stop ringing at 6am, otherwise she will put her number on caller divert. She has found a solution from this thread that suits her.

Original poster
janejon · 24/05/2011 11:42

But the phone itself ringing wakes me up and I am a light sleeper anyway.

How can I possibly know who I've given my mobile number to in case of emergencies? Shall I make a list or what?!

The only thing -after I've told her politely one last time- is to get a call divert thingy or block her number at certain times. So, no, just because I argue against something, does not mean I have not listened-just that I can think of an 'against' argument!

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 24/05/2011 11:43

And in fairness, others on this thread seem to be hearing selectively too. Janejon explained earlier that she missed the call to tell her that her grandad was seriously ill, and so missed the chance to spend some time with him before he died. She's also had other emergency calls at unsocial hours, so is not willing to turn her phone off - she doesn't feel she can take that risk, as to her it is a very real one.

And she has accepted a solution and intends to implement it - so why are people still castigating her for not listening here??

exoticfruits · 24/05/2011 11:44

I would stop thinkingof the against arguments and just do it!

valiumredhead · 24/05/2011 11:44

OP if you stop answering the bloody phone, she will get the message after a few days. End of problem!

exoticfruits · 24/05/2011 11:56

I agree with valiumredhead-it will be a bit disruptive for a few days- but she will give up eventually!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 24/05/2011 12:18

ARGHHHHHHHHH!! Janejon has said she is going to give her MIL one final warning, telling her her number will be blocked if she rings at 6am again, and is going to follow through on that.

Why are people still banging on about other solutions? Are you all deliberately not listening?? Hmm

valiumredhead · 24/05/2011 12:38

Yes, SDTG just to piss you off Wink

Bartimaeus · 24/05/2011 12:42

I understand you're frustrated but I don't understand this bit
"How can I possibly know who I've given my mobile number to in case of emergencies? Shall I make a list or what?!"

How many people might need you as an emergency at night???

My list is very short - parents, MIL, brother and our neighbours. No one else needs to reach me at night.