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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be ashamed...

304 replies

GirlFriendExperience · 22/05/2011 14:32

That I'm an escort girl/call girl/high class prositute (whatever you want to call it) ...

I love my job, I'm very good at it, I pay taxes, it's not illegal and I help a lot of people. So why should I spend my life apologising for it/lying about it/defending myself??

  • Yes have name changed in case I get flamed... which in itself is depressing!
OP posts:
lockets · 22/05/2011 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deliakate · 22/05/2011 16:30

GFE - do you have children? Did you work before having them too?

Vallhala · 22/05/2011 16:31

GFE, thank you for answering my question about name-changing. It may be relevent to point out here that some of my opinions and one of my lifestyle choices (not prostitution but it may as well be according to some on here!) have led to some very bitter and vicious comments BUT I can give as good as I get so it doesn't trouble me. AFAIAC it's all "words on a screen" and I have nothing to hide.

Only once have I ventured an opinion on a related moral issue and been greeted with, "Well you WOULD say that because ..." followed by a load of spite based on my lifestyle choice by one poster. On that occasion I merely told the poster that while I would happily answer others' questions on the topic in hand as honestly as possible I was no longer engaging with her. When she realised she was being ignored she gave up. We've since "spoken" on other issues here with significant and mutual civility.

I really don't see what you have to fear tbh. You're a former accountant, an educated woman... surely you're able to make it clear to any future detractors that you are unwilling to engage in a slanging match based on a previous disclosure about your own lifestyle choices?

How odd.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 22/05/2011 16:33

Girlfriend, do you declare your occupation on official documents re the house sale? I thought prostitution was illegal? Do you pay tax?

shesparkles · 22/05/2011 16:35

I'd do it if I had to in order to keep a roof over my kids' heads etc. Without a second thought (although losing several stone might not be a bad idea before I tried!)

aliceliddell · 22/05/2011 16:37

frantic51 - refer you to my earlier post about my cousin the 'arms dealer'. Prostitution doesn't only affect prostitutes and their clients. At the very least, most clients are married, so 'their' money is legally partly their wives'. Have the wives agreed that this money should be spent on prostitutes? This reliance on individualism is the worst kind of libertarian moral relativism. Which isn't very Catholic.

ledkr · 22/05/2011 16:41

I was aproached to do this a few yrs ago,i was nearly 40 and well chuffed Grin I didnt tho as i think once the kit was off they may want a refund.
Keep safe op and dont worry about what anyone else says.

dittany · 22/05/2011 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bemybebe · 22/05/2011 16:42

Rightly or wrongly prostitution itself, meaning the exchange of sexual services for money, is not a crime in the UK.

Asinine · 22/05/2011 16:42

'High class'

Not another class thread.

Do you only work with white bedding and towels, and never say 'pardon' , only 'excuse me?'

Vallhala · 22/05/2011 16:46

As far as I knew, prostitution in itself is not a crime. Soliciting, however, is, I believe.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 22/05/2011 16:47

Soliciting is an offence, as is running a brothel. (Working in a brothel, or visiting one as a punter/client is not illegal.)

OP has already said she pays her taxes and so on. She's not committing any criminal offence. (Neither are her clients/punters.)

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 22/05/2011 16:48

Interesting. I didn't know that. So on what charge are prostitutes arrested then? Soliciting? And what the fark does that mean, anyway?

Vallhala · 22/05/2011 16:52

I think that it means that you may charge for sex (ie prostitution) but you may NOT approach a potential client and suggest it. So, if a man offers you £100 for sex you may accept it and not be guilty of an offence but you may not ASK him for money for sex.

I think!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 22/05/2011 16:52

Soliciting is approaching men (offering sex for pay) in public places, and it's illegal for the very good reason that it's a damn nuisance if said man isn't interested.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 22/05/2011 16:53

Advertising on the internet isn't soliciting, btw, so is also legal.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 22/05/2011 16:54

The definition of a brothel, btw, is where more than one woman is offering sex for money. This, sadly, means that two women cannot work together (for safety reasons) as each can be (and have been) done for pimping the other. Ridiculous, but there you go.

Vallhala · 22/05/2011 16:55

And soliciting is the asking for money in return for sex.

Out of interest I wonder if the law covers ONLY the asking for money or whether soliciting covers the asking for ANY material reward in return for sex. Sorry, off on a tangent there, just musing. :)

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 22/05/2011 16:58

Not sure about that one, Valhalla, though the crime of brothel-keeping can include receiving rewards other than monetary.

ChippingIn · 22/05/2011 16:58

Until you are prepared to post this under your usual name then I refuse to believe you are not ashamed of what you do.

Read Val's post again - think about it.

Vallhala · 22/05/2011 16:59

OLKN, that's interesting. You'd have thought that the net was just as "public" as the high street, wouldn't you? So it's okay to wake up one morning and decide to ask for money for sex to potentially the whole world on the net, but not to the 200 men who might be on the high street that particular afternoon?

Our laws are really bizaare sometimes!

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 22/05/2011 16:59

For the life of me I don't know why the whole shebang isn't just made legal. It's never ever going to go away is it? And it might just help curtail the horrific people smuggling and forced prostitution that's prevalent in the UK at the moment.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 22/05/2011 17:01

Val, I think the difference is that customers have to seek out prostitutes online, whereas any poor innocent could find themselves in a Red Light District. More of a public nuisance.

But yes, our laws are weird about this subject.

razzlebathbone · 22/05/2011 17:07

Whatsallthe... - that has to be the most ludicrous affirmation of prostitution I have ever heard! It's complimentary be because it means one is fit. Ha! Have you ever seen any prostitutes? Not these 'high class' lazy narcissists like the OP, but the VAST majority who are drug addicts, products of the care system which fails our children, women who have fled home as teenagers to escape abuse, elderly women, fat women, women with faces and bodies ravaged by experience. ANY woman can become a prostitute. If you think it is some kind of indication of superior physicality or that men who use prostitutes have any opinions on women's bodies which are worth a flying fuck then you are, at best, a naive fool.

Jesus, some people really do need to stop watching Pretty Woman.

Vallhala · 22/05/2011 17:12

Ah, good point OLKN. Thanks for making sense of it to me. :)