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AIBU?

To not be ashamed...

304 replies

GirlFriendExperience · 22/05/2011 14:32

That I'm an escort girl/call girl/high class prositute (whatever you want to call it) ...

I love my job, I'm very good at it, I pay taxes, it's not illegal and I help a lot of people. So why should I spend my life apologising for it/lying about it/defending myself??

Yes have name changed in case I get flamed... which in itself is depressing!

OP posts:

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LDNmummy · 26/05/2011 00:08

Ooh my first ever involvement in a bunfight was a thread like this one [memories emoticon]

Made a lot of enemies on that thread

Whatever makes you happy love.

Animation · 26/05/2011 00:00

Good you could stop when you realized the harm it was doing.

Yes - no need to justify.

Hope you don't mind me asking questions.

strawberrymewmew · 25/05/2011 23:54

Thanks Dittany, and with a lot of help from my partner and steps towards making sure I will never be in that position again they are getting better.

I hope your friend will be okay. A lot of people would have disowned their friends for finding out this is what they have chosen to do.

dittany · 25/05/2011 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

strawberrymewmew · 25/05/2011 23:41

Which is what I should have done. But I decided to try and support myself, thinking that I would only have to do what I did a few times (which I did). But once you're in it, it's very easy for it to pull you in for longer.
I used to think, well if I do it for maybe a couple of weeks more I wont have to worry about money for a while.

When I got back to a rational way of thinking I stopped it immediately.

And you're right it was extreme, and the wrong with to do.
If I had a daughter and I found out she was doing it, no matter what her age I would lock her in the bloody house and refuse to let her out! People will judge me for that by saying it would be her own choice, but I would do anything to make sure none of my children ended up with the mental scars I have ended up with.

Animation · 25/05/2011 23:33

Strawberry - I don't know how it felt for you. It seems extreme to me and I know I couldn't have done it. If I'd been in a pickle and starving I would have just gone back home - or asked my folks to come and get me.

strawberrymewmew · 25/05/2011 23:21

Well what the blooming heck do you think?

Animation · 25/05/2011 23:16

Why do you say foolish - do you regret it?

strawberrymewmew · 25/05/2011 23:11

Because if I had left the flat I had moved to, I would have left 3 other people with nowhere to live. Plus I guess I wanted to seem grown up(living on my own and all that jazz). As I said, foolish.

Animation · 25/05/2011 22:57

"And this wasn't too long after I foolishly decided to move out of the family home and ended up with no work, after a while I had no one to borrow money from to live on and the job centre were not helpful in the slightest."

Why didn't you just go back home?

strawberrymewmew · 25/05/2011 22:31

I had a great childhood and a great relationship with my family.

And this wasn't too long after I foolishly decided to move out of the family home and ended up with no work, after a while I had no one to borrow money from to live on and the job centre were not helpful in the slightest.

My reasons were genuine for doing what I did, foolishly thinking I could numb it out. I've never had an alcohol or drug problem either.

Animation · 25/05/2011 20:40

Strawberry.

Did you have a happy childhood and a good relationship with your family?

How come you would have starved if you'd not gone into prostitution?

aliceliddell · 25/05/2011 13:40

Frantic51 - hmmm, certainly an interesting use of the word 'sexist'. This word is usually defined as the combination of power and prejudice used against a member of a group disadvantaged because of their sex. If you can give us an example of that where men are so affected, please do so. (Hint: You need tofind a society where women have the majority of economic, political and cultural power.) Good luck with that.

strawberrymewmew · 25/05/2011 13:19

Animation- I didn't start working as an escort because I had been abused, I done it because at the time if I didn't, I would have starved. Also 2 of my best friends are still escorts and neither have ever been abused.

While I do believe there is a fair few who get into it because sex becomes comfort, I don't actually believe it's a very high percentage. Most that I have met have got into it because they were either taken in by people telling them it's sexy and glamourous or they have needed to in order for them and/or their children to survive.

I have also known of males to be trafficked. It is normally to provide gay services and they are usually around the age of 18-21.

In response to the comments about how much girls make - I've seen girls charge anything from £30 an hour to around £350 and hour. Some also offer 15/25/30/45 min' "appointments" and many more offer longer. A girl in a brothel (which of there are many) will probably make around £50 an hour and these are the girls who the websites say £150 an hour for normally. Prices are normally the same in Sauna's.

The amount of clients a girl sees a day varies obviously. But in brothels it can be anywhere up to 20. Depending on how long they are seeing each client it can be more (and these are the "high" end ones).

Animation · 24/05/2011 21:52

Yes, I believe all adults are responsible for themselves whether they actually TAKE responsibility or not. The childhood traumas are not an excuse.

dittany · 24/05/2011 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyOfTheManor · 24/05/2011 21:44

So what about the ones who haven't been abused or abandoned? How has society failed them-for no one will make them take responsibility themselves. How do you put them in a box?

Animation · 24/05/2011 21:25

I think you get my drft.

As you say, some condemn, some criminalise but I prefer to pathologize prostitution. I believe it's a set of behaviours - that are a direct response to past mistreatments - very often sexual abuse.

Honeybee79 · 24/05/2011 21:14

If you don't have a prob with it then why are you starting such a defensive thread?

To be honest, as a feminist I do have a problem with prostitution. "High class" and "prostitute" are not two terms I would put together.

LadyOfTheManor · 24/05/2011 21:09

You cannot generalise and then use the term ALL.

FreudianSlipper · 24/05/2011 19:48

good for you, sadly i work with many women who are ex prostitutes and that are not in the same position many are living in fear and have drug problems and were once upon a time what one would call high class. many have been raped and have suffered physical assaults

it makes no odds if you are high class or not you are having sex for money the same as the woman working on a corner. if you enjoy it then lucky you make the money while you can, keep yourself safe as it is not a long term career

carmenelectra · 24/05/2011 19:19

I think some young attractive women feel enpowered by being an escort. Its all part of the celeb lifestyle, ie not doing a lot for money/attention or fame or whatever it may.

I suspect it makes the 'high end' escorts feel very sexy that men with their (possibly) frumpy wives lust after them. However, high end really only means that they probably live in London and pay someone to photograph them professionally in those make over style shoots so that they look like glamour models.

I would say that its only these girls that have the chance of earning big money, but I dont ever think its 10 or twenty clients a day.

Those who work in brothels probably get £50 a shag. Hardly big bucks for what they do and they would have to see a hell of a lot of men to earn mega money.

I agree that an escort would seriously need a back up plan for the future as most of these middle aged men want young, trim women. If they want someone not so groomed they might kid themselves they could get that for free.They are paying for women they would never pull. No middle aged married man is going to get a young hotty for free is he?

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Animation · 24/05/2011 19:12

Generally speaking ALL sex workers were exposed to some form of abuse, neglect and sexualized behaviours during their childhood.

LadyOfTheManor · 24/05/2011 19:04

Animation, I'd just like to quietly point out that not all sex workers were abused by their parents or anyone else for that matter.

Some yes, but some who were aren't in the sex industry, and some who were not, are.

Animation · 24/05/2011 18:50

"All the ills in the world are a direct result of man's domination of woman"

I don't know about all the ills in the world but definately prostitution! Infact prostitution, as a behaviour, is a SYMPTOM of childhood abuse.

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