to feel a bit funny that a friend has a photo of a dead baby as her profile picture?

[HowToLookGoodGlaikit]

A friend (distant) has put up a photo of her cousins very obviously dead (I think stillborn) baby as her profile picture, as a "tribute".

AIBU to find this a bit weird? The photo makes me feel uncomfortable. Is this my problem, and it is in fact a nice thing to do to honour the poor wee child? Her cousins has put "thank you" underneath, so she must think its a fitting tribute. Maybe its just me. I am quite prepared to admit I am BU if need be.

I see the idea that poor/ badly-educated/ average people don't have "finer feelings" is still around, then.

That's a shame, it really is.

I agrree totally Dandy with the fact we can all chose what we view as is i assume the case with face book.

All my responses were in fact aimed at a single poster who i feel was particularly offensive and not at the op or anyone else.

I am sorry i have no controll over what anyone else on mumsnet chooses to post,only my own.

dandy I didnt think my posts were bad but someone must have. Its a first tho. I only came onto the thread to comment on the nasty post as i thought it unecessarily nasty. As i said,the reason i dont do facebook is i dont understand the whole "put your life for all to see" mentality. I did report the post and not the thread despite what i said. It was hard not to feel defensive for someone so recently bereaved especially at the same time that i had a sick but thankfully ok baby,she has had a terrible time and has recieved much support from us,wiggleshas been a great help i know and wouldnt hsve meant to cause offence as i know Jane didnt take it but i realise some would have.

You are being unreasonable, i have many pics of my dead baby, who has a name by the way, around my house. If i wanted him on facebook its no one else's fucking business, if the didn't like it they could quite happily fuck off.

D'you know, i love the hypocrisy that goes on on Mumsnet at times, i really do, it's astounding.

Apparently it's perfectly acceptable to call a bereaved mother posing for the only photos she is ever going to get with her child 'dull' and 'thick' and insinuate that the child dying will probably be the highlight of he life, but when people find that offensieve and despicable, and post to say so, it gets deleted.

I stand by what i said last night - the post by bacchus was vile, offensieve and totally uncalled for. She thinks this of someone she calls a friend? Hell, i'm glad she's no friend of mine.

deemented, are you serious? If its true that person is a sick, nasty piece of work. What a twat, hope they get a slap.

deemented. Sod it im off to open some wine and wait for some good Friday threads, Being deleted is a mn right of passage.

Dee - beyond a joke isn't it :(

I didn't even respond to Bacchus' post because it was just vile & stupid.

Ledkr - your posts were not bad, I don't know who has been let loose on the 'delete' button

well i and others reorted bacchus post and its still there,i thought it was far worse than any other. I challenged her to come back,did that break a rule?

I've reported my last post because i'd like to know why they think Bacchus' post is acceptable, but others aren't.

I'm amazed that the posts in response to Bacchus were deleted. What she said was almost gleefully offensive and chilling in its total lack of compassion for her "dull, thick" friend's loss. Of course bereavement doesn't sanctify people but what is wrong with showing a little kindness at this of all times - is snobbish distaste really all the feeling she could dredge up?

Maybe it isn't the sentiment of a post that gets the post deleted but the content - swearing, insults etc?

I mean, vile though Bacchus' post may have been I don't think she swore in it or insulted a mumsnetter.

It's only a computer after all, it's maybe trained to detect an overuse of certain 'unacceptable' words and delete those posts. It would take an actual human to see the offence in a post which is racist, homophobic, deeply upsetting etc.

I didnt swear-i normally do but i didnt this time

I'm outta here. Have been bollocked by MNHQ about something I don't even think I said , had posts deleted but in the same breath been told that been told that the boards self moderate so what Baccus says stands.
Time for a break from this place due to the fact that I feel unreasonably pissed off.
Bye

Apparently my post was deleted because saying that i thought bacchus needed a slap for what she posted, was a 'personal attack'

Oh, and bacchus' post will stand because we have freedom of speech, after all...

Seems you can personally attack people as long as its in the 3rd person,MN you are wrong to leave baccus post up,sorry.

YANBU - I think posting a pic of a dead baby is really weird. A funery flower would have been a tribute, this is just sick.

for god sake

sick tigermummy ?

Why do you think it is sick ?

I can understand someone feeling uncomfortable but never sick .

Real people are behind these photos and to say their childrens pictures are sick is just a bit odd . And very cruel for the record.

YANBU - I would feel uncomfortable too. I would feel uncomfortable with any photo of a dead body, no matter how much the person is loved and missed.

I ahvent read all of the thread yet, I thought it had disappeared on page 1, but I want to say I am truly very sorry for all those who have lost their precisou babies :( My OP was in no way saying that the people involved should not deal with greif in their own way, and nor would I ever express my own feelings to them. I think it just made me feel very uncomfortable seeing a baby that had passed away, just in the same way that I dont like to see any photos of deceased people. I do not think stillbirth/infant death should be tabboo/not talked about (a friend has suffered this & I talk to her about her little girl all the time). It was purely the photo, over & over on FB, that I found hard to look at.