... to think that because I can't see a new IPOAT thread I should start one myself?

[PrincessFiorimonde]

Especially as I want to wish CheerfulYank a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY for today. Hope you are having a lovely day.

And here is the patron saint of IPOAT playing Happy Birthday To CY!

Don't mention The Goats. They have caused all sorts of trouble. People will go Too Far.

I hear Hully has been Up To Things with goats again. Sister Hully, that is no way to behave. It seems you have gone wild since the prawns were lost. Oh lament and repent sisters.

Evening

I am feckless and errant tonight as my chaperone is off at the docks consorting with salty sailors. I see where we have a shortage of prawns we have a surplus of goats?

I wonder, now that there are so many goats clustered in the ha-ha, if we might not put the gels to carding and weaving and then tatting something ladylike, perhaps a heavy winter cloak, from the wool? It would keep them busy and make their little milk white hands turn a profit.

It is such a genteel art, is it not?

Weavings whare it's at

or where.....

Gels gels, I fear this is all too typical of the butterfly minds of young gels nowadays. You can't tatt until you have caught the goats, denuded them and carded and weaved.

Now down to the ha-ha with you and get denuding.

Mistress Hully

I've denuded but Mr Rochester's looking at me funny....

Dear Mr Rochester is blind, surely you have not forgot the awful fire that so cruelly robbed him of his sight and home? Or noticed how he stumbles and bangs into things without my guiding arm?

Shame on you.

he seems to be stumbling toward the denuded gels and goats an awful lot Mistress Hully?

That poor poor man. He lives in a world of his own, you know. Simply tragic. He is so desperate to help, and no matter how often I tell him it is enough that I can gaze upon his rugged countenance and we can still take a turn about the ballroom, he still hankers so after his droits de seigneur.

Come Mr Rochester, it is time for your partridge toastie.

Oh....that's what he's hankering, I shall be quite safe then

Denuding goats in the ha-ha.
Carding.
Weaving.
And tatting (whatever that may be) to look forward to.

May I enquire whither all the denuding-carding-weaving-tatting lead(eth)?

Oh ladies, ladies, please fan my fevered brow and make me a posset or two because I am vexed beyond belief by my well meaning but foolish DH.

Madame Jins, shall I fetch you some spring water with extract of passion flower? Just the thing for anxieties of the soul.

Oh yes please! Put a gin in it please. Make it a double

I am returned from the land of the druids bearing new herbs. I have Goatwort, Maidens thumb, Fat Head and Creeping parson. I 'm sure we can do something with those. I am off to the drying shed, to experiment, come Fiderer we shall make tictures.< drags the still into the drying shed> For medicinal purposes only Mistress Hully.

Tinctures here I hop.

What the flip is creeping parson and what do you aim to cure with that

What has the dear man done, dear Madame Jins?

men can be most tiresome and vexing. Best to get a maimed one like dear mr Rochester, it hobbles their ability to irritate.

Good evening sisters. I've been in the dairy all day, showing the maids how to make a selection of artisanal goats' milk cheeses. How useful that we learned the gentle art of cheesemaking during our stay in Utah. Those girls were sore in need of guidance and a firm hand, I can tell you.

Does it count if you maim your existing man Hully?

Creeping Parson = shiny trousers, floppy hair and a leer. Maiming a social must.

I approach the buckets of Goatwort and Maidens Thumb with renewed vigour.