'people whi judge should be ashamed of themselves'. wdyt?

[Cat98]

Sorry for picking on a particular quote, but I saw this on another thread, and I wondered what other people thought. Personally - I agree that generally, openly judging other people isn't a nice thing to do. Also it could be hypocritical - nobody is perfect, and there could be an area of your life that would be judged, too. However, I do think that to some extent it is human nature to judge. Do some people honestly never make a private judgement about the actions of someone else? Be it a friend or a total stranger? I have become less judgey since becoming a parent myself, and since reading mumsnet! But I can honestly say I do still judge sometimes and I can't imagine anyone who doesn't, ever. So do you exist, total non-judgers? Because you are better people than I am!

Of course I judge, it's called having a moral code. Anything outside my personal moral code will be unashamedly judged by myself.

It depends what is on the table to "judge" doesn't it ?

I judge neglectful parents, I judge people who abuse others etc etc

I don't judge someone who chooses not to breastfeed (for example)

But if everyone has a different moral code/threshold, who are we to judge that someone else's threshold is wrong? For example - the smoking in pg thread. For the people who have said people shoudln't judge - are they not making a judgement themselves? How far does it go?

"Of course I judge, it's called having a moral code."

Indeed. Though I think it is important to remember that morality is, to a greater or less extent, something that is afforded more easily by the rich.

Of course people judge others. I try to be as non-judgemental as I possibly can but there are times when I can't help myself. And I am sure that people judge me.

If no-one judged anyone, then it might be the case that people didn't realise that some behaviour is just plain wrong. pink is completely right, it's your moral code.

if its good enough for judge judy its good enough for me.

Of course everyone dons their judgeypants from time to time. Those who claim otherwise are kidding themselves.

I judge people who claim that you should never ever judge.

Of course you should judge.

If more people judged unacceptable behaviour, , behaviour that causes harm to others, behaviour deeply antisocial, criminal behaviour, abusive behavour, rude and ignorant behaviour, selfish behaviour... perhaps the world would not be going to hell in a handcart.

But oh no, everything is ok, do what you like, nobody will judge, behave how you want to, do what you want to to other people cos you might be having a bad day and it's only a snapshot don't you know.

Load of bollocks.

Everyone judges everyone else, whether they like to admit it or not.

Seriously bonsoir? Morality can only be afforded by the rich? Rich in sense, empathy and decency, most definitely. But rich in financial terms? So a person without stacks of cash cannot possibly have high morals? Sorry, I think that's wrong, and I judge you .

I really wouldn't want to live in a society where people didn't judge. It's how we set and transmit social norms, isn't it?

Obviously, there's a whole other discussion about what you judge, and how hastily you judge, and how you communicate you judgements...

I'm hugely judgmental of people who leave their children with undeclared illegal immigrants (aka "nannies").

manchestermummy - where did I say "only"?

Do you really think so, Bonsoir?

Thinking about it though , I would say that living by a moral code is easier if one is educated.

i.e able to read and understand effects of smoking around dcs.

More easily, only. Whatever. Paraphrasing. Little difference.

I also judge pedants.

How is morality more easily afforded by the rich?

It's human nature to judge but some are better at it than others and more vocal. I judge the judgers.

I judge people who are sloppy about the meaning of words

Read Lazarillo de Tormes - very good on morality being a luxury the rich can afford .

It's true that being generous and kind towards others is a lot easier, IMO, when the wolf is not at your own door.

But anyway Bonsoir, care to explain how morality is more easliy afforded by the rich?

people judge others all the time. It is human nature. If i see someone walking down the street with 2 inch tunnels in his ears and tatooted tear drops down his facve then i judge him to be a twat for doing that to himself. If i met him and g=we got talking i might think he was really nice but i would still think he was a twat for having the tunnels and facial tats.

I'm sure you're right being a parent made me less judgemental.
I certainly don't judge people for what they wear, what job they do (or don't), etc.

I have always found that people who are quick to judge others tend to brag about how perfect they and their offspring are. They are then the ones who take the biggest tumble when things go wrong.

Yes everyone judges others......How can SIL moan about having no money, and still have holidays and regular meals out! I don't know if that makes me judgemental or jealous.

Bonsoir what rubbish. My paternal grandmother had nothing. Not even a heater, never mind central heating. Food was scarce. And she was kind and as generous as she could be.

Agree with hecate.

IMO we don't judge enough.

It's normal and okay to judge other people. Where it goes wrong is that some posters think they have some 'rights' in the matter. Not so. People can think what they like about what I do and I can say 'tough! get over it!'

Also in with those who have honest opinions you will often find a pack of people enjoying the chance to hide in a crowd and shout at someone. They will pick up reasons from the other posters, but they are just there to bully someone/anyone.

Found this definition:

"The act or process of judging; the formation of an opinion after consideration or deliberation.
The mental ability to perceive and distinguish relationships; discernment:
The capacity to form an opinion by distinguishing and evaluating:
The capacity to assess situations or circumstances and draw sound conclusions; good sense:"

which I think says it all about just how vital exercising judgement is (and how much a part of being a thinking adult it is)

I think there is a lazy reliance on the phrase "we shouldn't judge" when what people might actually mean is that we shouldn't be discriminatory in the way we judge a situation

We shouldn't be discriminatory, but of course we should judge. It's what society relies on in order for us to live at all happily in close quarters with each other.