'people whi judge should be ashamed of themselves'. wdyt?

[Cat98]

Sorry for picking on a particular quote, but I saw this on another thread, and I wondered what other people thought. Personally - I agree that generally, openly judging other people isn't a nice thing to do. Also it could be hypocritical - nobody is perfect, and there could be an area of your life that would be judged, too. However, I do think that to some extent it is human nature to judge. Do some people honestly never make a private judgement about the actions of someone else? Be it a friend or a total stranger? I have become less judgey since becoming a parent myself, and since reading mumsnet! But I can honestly say I do still judge sometimes and I can't imagine anyone who doesn't, ever. So do you exist, total non-judgers? Because you are better people than I am!

yes as do most of us,but we all judge inc you Mishtabel.and your faux protestations just make me wonder if you are over compensating for illiberal views.as in i hardly never judge...aye right

its human nature to observe,and opine

SM, of course you are free to think what you like about me.

All I know is that I do try not to judge someone unless I think I am aware of the facts/circumstances, which I hardly ever am, so....

I should have known better than to post in the middle of the night and keep myself awake for longer (insomniac)

We all judge people it's in our nature to do so. But it's how we say it that counts. I'm new on here and my 1st post was deemed a spam. I just shrugged it off rather than get into a row.

yes im juding based on what you've written
and your irked response means you too are judging my response too

i dont buy your protestations of needing full corroboration from reliable source before you even have a glimmer of opinion.but this is just going to turn into verbal tennis with you vigorously assuring me you never judge in absence of facts

and i don't believe you

but im genuinely curious that you have constructed such an elaborate stance

Was that aimed at me???
Hope not

who on earth are you harrumphing at taylor?

I have been acused of judging, I thought I was merely giving my opinion about a given situation, someone please enlighten me, What is the difference?

opinion liked is pov
opinion not liked is judging

I judge, we all do. Some moral codes are shared by 99.9% of society, such as murder, rape or paedophilia being wrong. But in other societies, they have different moral codes, such as some countries where rape is commonplace and 'acceptable' - to the men anyway. And I judge them.

There's a sliding scale from things seen as wrong by pretty much everyone, to things only seen as wrong by a minority, and we all pass judgement on those who are at a different place on the spectrum to us.

No, was aimed at me.
I never said I never judge without all the facts. I said I try. Stop taking to extreme everything I say

Mishtabel,i do believe you are judging my pov to be extreme!tsk tsk

and no im pretty much expanding upon your stance
"All I know is that I do try not to judge someone unless I think I am aware of the facts/circumstances, which I hardly ever am, so...."

obvious inference being unless you have availed self of all facts you dont judge

oh please,your stance is ridiculous.not sure why you labour this so

Oh I don't even know how to argue with that logic! Maybe I should have highlighted 'try' again?
Btw, was not irked by your previous response at all. Am irked by myself posting when I should be sleeping

not read the whole thread. Yes I judge, and anyone who says they don't, well they are not being completely honest (for which I also judge them for .

Judging is not a problem, it is how you use your opinions and bias to treat others that counts. And whether or not you are aware that your opinion is one that judges. Do you let it negatively or positively influence decisions you make, do you discriminate or be prejudiced about others as a result? treat people inappropriately badly (or inappropriately better) as a result?

I try very hard not to judge. And here's why..

(1) I see teenager, pushing buggy and chatting on phone...how do I know if she is the mother or sister or babysitter etc. And even if she was the mother, did she anguish over whether or not to keep the child. I had sex from 16 on - I could easily have fallen pregnant.

(2) I see mother shouting at her child in the supermarket. She may have had an awful day and this was the last straw. She may have just received bad news. She may have just looked into her purse to discover that her alcoholic partner has stolen all her money, and now she doesn't have enough money to feed her children. I was in an abusive relationship a long time ago, but got out. I still remember what it was like.

And so the scenarios go on and on. It's so easy to judge but it takes longer to consider or try to understand a situation....

I judge and depending on who it is depends on what I do about the said judgement. People living there lives in a different but harmless way to me or others is just a mild 'oh look at that, that's funny/awful/weird' People doing things to harm others then if I know them and if I can I take some action. For e.g. my M.I.L. putting my son in a car that wasn't MOT'd or Taxed and then driving on the motorway. I was only informed of this afterwards when she was saying how they hadn't had it MOT'd because they were worried it would not pass. Some people I know thought nothing of this and she certainly didn't. My judgy pants were up so high that she is never looking after my child on her own again...that and the drink driving she does as well.
Everyone judges whether they admit or not!

all v worthy k999,but in rl the synapses fire fast and we all judge.that judgement is usually a fast,spontaneous act.too fast for the rumination you suggest

yes maybe after a period of reflection one can think,i wonder what the mitigating factors are/were but in reality.we see we judge.that instinctive tsk and reproach happens at speed

by all means one should apply super ego,and judgement to a given situation,but lets face it msot rl doesn't happen like that

we all draw from our own experiences,class,age,when we make judgements. but usually most judgements are culturally shared and normative

Sorry SM I thought the comment was aimed at me so I'm sorry.

no apology necessary at all.fast moving thread,it happens

ScottishMummy, yes I accept in RL things move fast, snap shot, instant thoughts, it happens in seconds. But it also only takes seconds to consider why you have those instant thoughts, and whether they are fair or not.

Love hectate's response to this thread on pg 1! I also judge those who say they don't judge, what a load of sanctimonious bollocks to say you don't!

I definitely judge smoking in pregnancy but I also have sympathy and wouldn't call someone names for doing so but I would say what they were doing is wrong

On 'controversial' subjects like breastfeeding I'll
Be honest and say I do feel a bit judgey about women who don't bf if they can (I stress the if they can). Maybe thats wrong of me, but it's how I feel.

yes,usually after the judgement.usually we judge and then search for an explanation. of course be aware mitigating factor etc. but in a social observation,or retold anecdote we all make spontaneous snap judgement.just some seem less keen to admit so

in work and certain circumstances it is different as do have the enhanced facts, mitigating factors etc.but this isnt usually the social mileu of anecdote or observed, or read in a newspaper

Someone on here said dont judge without all the facts... Well, with regard to smoking in pregnancy, the fact is, this harms a developing foetus and is extremely selfish, neglectful behaviour so I'll judge it all day long.

I don't go round judging everyday occurrences like a woman who shouts at her child in the supermarket or what women wear even if it is not my taste etc. People can do what they want and live how they want but when actions have an impact on someone else -especially health wise like this subject - like smoking when pg and all the effects that has on a developing foetus, then those people should be judged as what they are doing is wrong.

no one has access to social history,and time to scratch chin like niles crane before deliberating a response to any situation

we all judge

and i def judge those who say they dont judge

Niles! Oh I miss Frasier!

hehe,i love all the frasier repeats.still funny