'people whi judge should be ashamed of themselves'. wdyt?

[Cat98]

Sorry for picking on a particular quote, but I saw this on another thread, and I wondered what other people thought. Personally - I agree that generally, openly judging other people isn't a nice thing to do. Also it could be hypocritical - nobody is perfect, and there could be an area of your life that would be judged, too. However, I do think that to some extent it is human nature to judge. Do some people honestly never make a private judgement about the actions of someone else? Be it a friend or a total stranger? I have become less judgey since becoming a parent myself, and since reading mumsnet! But I can honestly say I do still judge sometimes and I can't imagine anyone who doesn't, ever. So do you exist, total non-judgers? Because you are better people than I am!

I didn't say I didn't judge....just that I try not to. Here for the grace of god and all that.....

i try not to,but sometime inner monologue is J'accuse
and its fast and upon me before i can think what the hell...

ScottishMummy, you will go to the bad fire for that admission!

that amongst other things.yes undoubtedly
and maybe i had it coming

^I judge people who claim that you should never ever judge.

Of course you should judge.

If more people judged unacceptable behaviour, , behaviour that causes harm to others, behaviour deeply antisocial, criminal behaviour, abusive behavour, rude and ignorant behaviour, selfish behaviour... perhaps the world would not be going to hell in a handcart.

But oh no, everything is ok, do what you like, nobody will judge, behave how you want to, do what you want to to other people cos you might be having a bad day and it's only a snapshot don't you know.

Load of bollocks.^

I also think the less you judge the less you feel judged. People who think everyone sneers at them and feel all defensive are usually top class judgers themselves.

that explanation is psychobabble rubbish

Is my experience SM. Have a friend who constantly points out others flaws, she also spends a lot of time thinking she is a terrible wife/mother/etc.

I have quite firm personal boundaries and am happy to say I find some behaviour unacceptable. Judging IMO is making shitty comments about others behaviour rather than just stating the case.

see thats the rub,someone firm boundaries is to another person bang out of order -we all use different semantics to explain individual actions and decision to justify our own judging

We judge all day everyday about all the little minor and major incidences in our life. Judgements tell us how to proceed. Of course, we all judge, maybe even without knowing it.

madamdeathstare I think you sum it up very nicely.

In the first 2 seconds of meeting someone you have made judgements about them-you may change them, but you can't help yourself.
I have never speed dated but I imagine 2 minutes is all you need to know from your judgement whether you want to get to know the person.

we all judge-just look at mn!crabbit pedants tutting and harrumphing about spelling,the ole gimmers tutting its gone to dawgs and was better in ole days

the oh my very god someone saw a pram that cost more than 89p.cue judging of anyone foolish enough to have pricey pram

and the lifeblood of mn is the judgement heaped upon
working mums/sahm
bottlefeeding/breast feeding

I think you mean you dont like people who judge people for things that are something that is just a lifestyle choise that does no harm like being a nudist, or being vegetarian or having a foreign husband ok Im two of them lol I wont tell you which ones in case Im judged Im joking but yeah I am married to a foreign husband and judges alot about it but mostly by older people same with other lifestyle choises just some more dangerous ones like the case of a woman injected her 8 year old daughter with botox well obviously thats going to be judge very harshly. I know what you mean thou I dont like to judge people for there believes and lifestyles as long as its nothing dangerous or illegal. Related to breastfeeding I have my opinion but dont judge people people who dont share the same. xx

Quite right scottishmummy. I certainly judge and I make up my mind on people. I won't-but I could name people that I think are excellent parents and those I wouldn't want anywhere near my DC. I bet everyone could do the same. I might change my mind if I met them but the initial judgement is there.

bottom line is we all judge.sometimes erroneously.sometimes not

We make judgements of other people every single day.
Its what you then do about the judgement that matters.

Yes, we all judge. The sensible thing to do is not to deny this very natural human trait but to be aware of it and try to balance it with the knowledge that you may well be wrong.

The kind of judging that pisses me off is the kind where the person has leaped straight in without bothering to think about all the possibilities. An ounce of imagination goes a very long way.

yes,everyone judges,just need be aware it is flawed and subjective
but is also intrinsically human to judge

"your answer is so woolly you could put it in a field and call it dolly."
God, thats good.

It is a lovely quote! I must rememberto try and use it in RL!

All these people saying it's OK to be judgemental because it's human nature It's human nature to shit in public and not to brush your teeth - we don't tend to encourage these things either.

If I see a hugely fat woman walking down the street, yes I will notice her and I probably will think how big she is. That is natural. That is not judging her - that is a statement of fact. It would offensive though if I expressed my opinion to her or even to anyone else. If I then went on to make judgements about her from that fact that she is fat - such as she must be lazy, stupid, ignorant about health, 'chavvy' or any other stupid and inaccurate snap judgement - that would be judgemental and unfair on the evidence I have. Why would it be considered OK to do that?