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AIBU?

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Original poster

to have tipped p*ss on DP

255 replies

vixy0007 · 15/05/2011 22:45

My 34yo 'DP' came home blinding drunk friday night, fell asleep. All perfectly fine, until i woke up in the early hours to find him missing, so turning over to check where he was i realised i had rolled into a puddle of freezing cold wee. DP has a habit of doing this when he has had one to many, but this time he had woken up, noticed what he had done an got into the spare bed in the other room, leaving me in a piss covered bed!! Anyway, i woke up so annoyed i actually went downstairs, got a jug, did the biggest wee i could manage then went and tipped it on him ( not his face, his body ) just to see how he likes it. Needless to say he wasnt very pleased. was i out of order??

OP posts:
MrsNoggin · 15/05/2011 22:52

So now you have two pee-soaked mattresses? Hmm

My instincts say fair enough, he was a bit of a wanker. But when I think about it, I would have wimped out and gone for water.

insertfunnynicknamehere · 15/05/2011 22:52

You are taking the piss arent you.....

boom boom.....

MarioandLuigi · 15/05/2011 22:53

Are you 9?

Actually, most 9 year ols would be more sensible than that.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 15/05/2011 22:53

Was it Noel Cowards who said 'How unlike the home life of our own dear queen..'?
Apt.

balia · 15/05/2011 22:54

Excellent. When those people come past who peer at you and laugh, make sure you throw your excrement at them. You are a credit to your species.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 15/05/2011 22:54

Coward not Cowards obv.

AgentZigzag · 15/05/2011 22:54

So now you've got two piss ridden beds?

But why didn't one of you go to the spare bed before the pissing incident?

There's no way I'd sleep in the same bed as someone who was so crap they didn't know when they've had enough to drink on more than the odd occasion, and thought it was OK.

KurriKurri · 15/05/2011 22:54

If you think his behaviour is disgusting, why did you lower yourself to his level?

Sorry its late, this is probably a wind up and I'm being po-faced or something, but Jesus how can people behave like this to each other?

ImADinosaurSoRawrAndStuff · 15/05/2011 22:55

Do you live near a bridge by any chance Hmm

LDNmummy · 15/05/2011 22:56

Not how I would handle it but so funny Grin

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 15/05/2011 22:57

Kurri, I'm with you, hoping this is a wind up because I cannot imagine how anyone could do this to another human and then still carry on living with them. Clearly they were meant to be.

LDNmummy · 15/05/2011 22:57

Oh FGS everyone, its wee, it is clean on exit, I just wouldn't do it for the smell and staining. But lol!

ChaosTrulyReigns · 15/05/2011 22:57

What reaction did you actually think you'd get from MN?

Applause?

I really fail to see the benefit of posting this sorry tale.

TragicallyHip · 15/05/2011 22:58

Oh that is hilarious and gross at the same time!

GypsyMoth · 15/05/2011 22:58

is this another £5 bet wind up??

QueenLaQueefer · 15/05/2011 22:58

Dear God, won't someone think of the matresses!Shock

Who's going to deep clean them?

Jesus H Christ.

somedayillbesaturdaynite · 15/05/2011 22:59

pmsl

strawberrymewmew · 15/05/2011 23:00

Don't think I would have the lack of modesty guts to do this myself, but I don't think you were being unreasonable.

However your house must smell horrid!

FunnysInTheGarden · 15/05/2011 23:00

how on earth can you still be married/be together with a man who pisses the bed with regular frequency. Tis vile. My 5 year old I can cope with. My DH? He would be out of the door until he learned some bedtime manners.

And being pissed is no excuse.

TragicallyHip · 15/05/2011 23:00

I thought I was the only one who found it funny LDN

Disclaimer* I wouldn't put up that shit but I wouldn't retaliate in that way either!

emmanumber3 · 15/05/2011 23:00

I can see why you did it but I think I'd have either:

a) Used warm water & told him it was pee or, more likely,
b) Kicked him out of clean, dry bed back into pissy wet bed while I snuggled up in clean, dry bed.

I wouldn't have done the pee thing I'm afraid - I hopee you've thrown the jug away Confused.

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 15/05/2011 23:01

LDN mummy, it is not that wee is 'dirty' it is that I would never think it was ok to throw wee over someone, how can this be part of a relationship? If someone threw piss at you, would you think, 'Oh well, it's a bit damp but perfectly clean so I don't mind'? Would you bollocks.

FunnysInTheGarden · 15/05/2011 23:01

on second thoughts this has to be a wind up. Tis all so very vile.

emmanumber3 · 15/05/2011 23:01

Hope not hopee - damn keyboard!

AgentZigzag · 15/05/2011 23:02

Pissing on someone is in the same category as spitting on them LDNM, it's more than just a liquid.