Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off that my sis had ivf while fiddling benefits

119 replies

londonbabe · 14/05/2011 15:44

shes been with her oh for 15 years but she has been on is/jsa the whole time. he lives with her and is a warehouse manager. they have just had ivf paid for by the nhs and shes just found out shes pregnant,

aibu to be really pissed off that shes had the ivf paid for by the nhs while shes fiddling benefits and that she has ni intention of stopping once she has her baby next year????

OP posts:
MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 15:45

I think you need to advise her to stop. If they get caught it could mean a prison sentence. Especially if she has been at it for years.

veronicadoll · 14/05/2011 15:45

i would say so yes, why arent you just happy for her however they went about it. they must have been desperate surely

veronicadoll · 14/05/2011 15:46

sorry misread - she should stop that now she has gotten out of it enough

GypsyMoth · 14/05/2011 15:46

which benefits is she claiming....you dont seem clear?

Hammy02 · 14/05/2011 15:49

She shouldn't be claiming JSA for more than 6 months if her DP works more than 16 hours a week. Even if she is legitimately on benefits, who is giving IVF to people that can't afford to support themselves let alone a child?

MotherSnacker · 14/05/2011 15:50

I think it is a bit mean to be pissed off that she is pg after having fertility issues.

She is wrong to be stealing from the government though.

Original poster
londonbabe · 14/05/2011 15:50

veronicadoll of course im happy. but shes been doing benefit fraud for over 15 years. im just really concerned that she will get caught. she was caught years ago and was cautioned. her excuse is why should x go to work just to pay all his wages out in rent.

she is on incomnesupport and full housing and council tax benefit.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 14/05/2011 15:51

which benefit and how long has he lived with her??

is the house rented? is she getting housing benefit?

MotherSnacker · 14/05/2011 15:53

tell her to stop. She would be entitled to tax credits and housing benefit if they don't have enough to live on from his wages. What she is doing is irresponsible when she is going to be a mum. They could jail her.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/05/2011 15:56

They've been fiddling for fifteen years ?!?

I literally am flabbergasted, they're not the type of people (criminals) who should be having children.

You should have grassed them up fifteen years ago - on an average salary they have made £300,000 free - easily enough to have paid for ivf a thousand times.

I really, really judge them for it, they could easily have paid for it.

mummissinghermind · 14/05/2011 15:57

Londonbabe, perhaps pissed off is the wrong phrase, concerned about her now she's pregnant would have sounded more "sisterly".Even the people closest to us do what they want in the end, all you can do is be there for her and be a good sister (which i'm sure you are) if it all falls down.

CurrySpice · 14/05/2011 15:59

It's not the IVF that pisses me off, but the fiddling sure as hell does!!

Original poster
londonbabe · 14/05/2011 16:00

im not pissed off that they have had ivf. im really pleased and happy. but i get so frustrated that she wont go legal. i told her that this baby that she wanted for years should be brought into a better world than shes giving it

eg they are living in a studio flat. my sis wont even move to a bigger place as they dont want top pay the rent top up.

OP posts:
MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 16:00

Tell her she needs to stop. Imagine getting sent to prison when you're a new Mum.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 14/05/2011 16:01

I don't know why the two things are connected. Be pissed off about fiddling the benefits but pissed off that she had successful IVF? That's nice of you.

GypsyMoth · 14/05/2011 16:01

so why is she on income support??

they already have children under 7 then?

GwendolineMaryLacey · 14/05/2011 16:02

"aibu to be really pissed off that shes had the ivf paid for by the nhs while shes fiddling benefits..."

You are pissed off that she had IVF.

Original poster
londonbabe · 14/05/2011 16:06

im pissed off shes had ivf WHILE FIDDLING BENEFITS i mean seriously!!!! if she was genuinly on benefits then that would be another story. but imagine iof she got caught and they found out she concieved through ivf????

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 14/05/2011 16:07

wwhy is she able to claim income support??

VivaLeBeaver · 14/05/2011 16:09

Would she not have got IVF on the NHS anyway if she met hte criteria? Just curious as friends of mine got it on the NHS and they're both well paid teachers so would have thought if it was means tested they'd have had to have paid. They definetly didn't pay a penny.

YANBU to be annoyed that they're benefit cheats.

saffy85 · 14/05/2011 16:12

YANBU to be pissed off at her for fiddling her benefits, especially as she's been at it for ages. How has she not been caught yet? She needs to stop now. Don't get me started on her morals regarding "Why should my DP go out t work and spend all his money on rent?" That's fucking life after all.

squeakytoy · 14/05/2011 16:15

I am suprised she is able to claim anything long term if she has no children. IVF is available to anyone on the NHS and is not means tested, but age defined.

Original poster
londonbabe · 14/05/2011 16:16

tillytulip. its because shes a "carer" to one of her mates who gets dla otherwise she would be on jsa. she plans on staying as this persons"carer" till shes 29 weeks preg and can clain is not jsa

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/05/2011 16:21

Report her then.

StuckinTheMiddlewithYou · 14/05/2011 16:21

Does she actually care for this friend?