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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DNephew on Wedding Photos? Or am I being a bridezilla?!

268 replies

Bridezilla2011 · 14/05/2011 10:42

Firstly, I've namechanged as don't want to out myself incase any of the people involved are reading Wink

DP and I are getting married on Friday. DNephew (9) is page boy.

SIL rang this morning and left a voicemail on DP's phone to say that she thought she better warn us that today they are dying DNephew's hair bright green, as that is what he wants. She laughed at the end of the message saying 'sorry in advance about the wedding photos'.

I know she isn't joking. His hair has previously been all manner of colours - purple, pink, red etc.

So AIBU to ask DP to tell his sister that if his hair is bright green, I dont want him on my professional wedding photos? Or am I being a bridezilla?

If IABU, then please be gentle, I'm stressed enough already Grin

OP posts:
Jaspants · 14/05/2011 21:17

Sounds like SIL / DN are very attention seeking. Have a back up plan - they'll be the ones that look like knobs if they do go with odd hair colours.

Jaspants · 14/05/2011 21:17

Oh and DNP - what a lovely sister you are

animula · 14/05/2011 21:28

Good grief, I'm not even pregnant and I've come over all emotional at DNP's photos!

OP - I think part of it comes down to what you are like, and what your wedding means to you.

I had Snow White at my wedding, because what my wedding "meant" to me encompassed dd dressing as SW.

On the other hand, I get that this isn't the case with other people - and that has to be fine - each to their own.

bupcakesandcunting · 14/05/2011 21:37

Not read whole thread, it's saturday. But the mother sounds like an indulgent little twat. Could she not have said no to little prince? YANBU. I would have allowed it on mine as it wouldn't bother me personally but I understand it would fuck some people off.

StealthPolarBear · 14/05/2011 21:41

Wow I'm amazed at these responses
Would you be sayiong the same about an adult who chose to have green hair?
DS's cousin came to our wedding in full make up with an old fashioned style brooch!

snorkie · 14/05/2011 21:43

love the hobbit!

op yanbu - maybe invest in a packet of colourb4 just in case?

MrsFogi · 14/05/2011 21:46

Not read whole thread but yanbu (I am not even allowing dd1 (5yo) to paint her nails for my sister's wedding next week until I have the okay from my sister.

HRHPrincessZombiePlan · 14/05/2011 21:51

DNP - that is such a lovely story. Really really touching, but insanely funny at the same time. I totally PMSL at "So I called my mom back and told her to start looking for a cloak"

OP - your SIL is being a pita, I would guess deliberately. Is there any way you can arrange for all the men in the wedding party to meet up together earlier on in the wedding day - maybe get ready together, or have a pre-wedding lunch or similar? That way, you'll have a bit of advance warning of oddly coloured hair (or other attention-seeking shenanigans) - otherwise, you'll just get it sprung on you at the church and it's a bit late to do anything then...

SpringHeeledJack · 14/05/2011 21:53

I'm with you, Stealth

I didn't know you were even allowed to get cross about this sort of stuff at your wedding...

in light of this have decided when me and dp finally get round to it (in our sixties, at this rate Hmm) everyone is going to have to go full Gaga, or we will airbrush them out of the photos

(that means you too, Auntie Barbara and Uncle Kenneth)

StealthPolarBear · 14/05/2011 21:54

In fact I can't actually remember but I think he may have had pink hair too! Will have to look back at the photos

MadamDeathstare · 14/05/2011 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

animula · 14/05/2011 22:04

Stealth and SpringHeeledJack - I think I share your attitude towards the meaning of a wedding but I do wonder if we're in the minority these days.

StealthPolarBear · 14/05/2011 22:06

Actually don't know how I'd have felt if he;d been a page boy. I honestly don't know

TheSecondComing · 14/05/2011 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vajazzhands · 14/05/2011 22:09

dont let him be a pageboy, she should have asked. Although personally Id think it was funny so wouldnt bother me

snorkie · 14/05/2011 22:19

stealth, to my mind the issue is that he is a pageboy, if he was a guest then it's up to him & his mum to wear whatever they like, but once you agree to be part of the bridal party your attire and hair is down to the bride imo.

fallon8 · 14/05/2011 22:22

slightly OT..i think the royal wedding pics. should surely tell the Wessex parents, they really need to sort out that child's squint.She will eventually lose her sight.Apparently are worried about the anaesethic

Ilythia · 14/05/2011 22:42

pageboy schmageboy. get some perspective people. its hair fgs. not a white dress and veil.

skybluepearl · 14/05/2011 22:47

your sis is out of order doing that to him. why not wait til after the wedding? have a couple of photos with him but then exclude him from most so not to ruin things.

pooka · 14/05/2011 22:58

Fallon - do you seriously imagine that the wessex parent do not have access to top quality opthalmic care and advice? You're wrong anyway - with certain squints it is good practice to wait until the eyes have matured before surgery in orde to maximise potential for positive outcome. Age is not the main determining factor for surgery - is down to many factors. Since we know next to nothing (rightly so) about her medical history and condition it is best not to comment?

More than slightly off topic really - Comparing a bright green hair dye job on a pageboy that seems intended to provoke with an eye condition that is completely out of the control of the bridesmaid in question.

Original poster
Bridezilla2011 · 14/05/2011 23:38

DNP, no need to apologize for the hijack, your posts and photos made me smile, thank you!

DD's hairdresser today actually offered to come to the wedding armed with bleach - just in case we get a different wacky hair colour which needs reverting back to blonde Grin

I've calmed down now, DP reckons that after the conversation they had, and MIL's subsequent 'chat', it will be fine and they will respect our wishes.

Keep your fingers crossed please ladies!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bridezilla2011 · 14/05/2011 23:40

I have more important things to concentrate on now anyway Wine

OP posts:
TheSmallClanger · 14/05/2011 23:41

Someone is having someone on here. I'm not sure who...

googoomama · 15/05/2011 00:12

What a stupid mum, dyeing his hair bright green in the first placce. And I'm the same - thought I was going to say you are BU, until I read your post. It's almost like she's doing it deliberately. I would be really irritated. Surely she could leave it (preferably forever) or at least until after the wedding. What's she bloody thinking?

Collaborate · 15/05/2011 10:30

Bridezilla- I'd suggest that you only drop off his (presumably) hire suit on the morning (or rather get MIL to do it) on the basis that it's not given to him until you've seen his appearance is relatively normal.