Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DNephew on Wedding Photos? Or am I being a bridezilla?!

268 replies

Bridezilla2011 · 14/05/2011 10:42

Firstly, I've namechanged as don't want to out myself incase any of the people involved are reading Wink

DP and I are getting married on Friday. DNephew (9) is page boy.

SIL rang this morning and left a voicemail on DP's phone to say that she thought she better warn us that today they are dying DNephew's hair bright green, as that is what he wants. She laughed at the end of the message saying 'sorry in advance about the wedding photos'.

I know she isn't joking. His hair has previously been all manner of colours - purple, pink, red etc.

So AIBU to ask DP to tell his sister that if his hair is bright green, I dont want him on my professional wedding photos? Or am I being a bridezilla?

If IABU, then please be gentle, I'm stressed enough already Grin

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 14/05/2011 12:11

It does sound like They are doing it to be spiteful.

Best way to deal with that is to carry on completely as if his hair was a normal colour, include him in photos and get the photographer to Photoshop his hair blonde after it!!!! Grin

ChippingIn · 14/05/2011 12:11

Worral - why not read the Op's posts instead of just repeating the question?

But just so you don't feel the need to ask again, here is the answer... School must be ok with it because it has been every colour under the sun!

ChippingIn · 14/05/2011 12:15

DoubleNegativePanda - I love that you didn't mind your little sister dressing as Frodo Baggins :) You are really kind.

As for the couple of people saying it's unkind to demote him from page boy, what rubbish - it's his choice. Conform or miss out. Simple.

worraliberty · 14/05/2011 12:15

Because Chipping I didn't spot the bloody post Hmm

ChippingIn · 14/05/2011 12:17

Use f5 search school. Easy.

trixymalixy · 14/05/2011 12:18

Just read DNPs post, that is hilarious and very sweet.

worraliberty · 14/05/2011 12:18

Use FU sticky beak tool. Simples Grin

chicletteeth · 14/05/2011 12:29

No YANBU.
I would say that I don't want a page-boy with green hair in my photos and whilst he is still welcome to be page-boy, he will be asked to step aside for any photos.

To be honest, I don't think YWBU to say you will be finding a replacement page-boy or just not having one

fit2drop · 14/05/2011 12:31

Maybe the boy doesn't want to be a page boy (9 yr olds can be quite self concious and maybe he feels its a bit sissy (I know its not, just trying to get inside the young lads head) so he is deliberately tring to sabotage his chances of being a page boy and was hoping you would say..."in that case he is not going to be in the bridal party"

Actually I guess if he has had rainbow hair previously he can't be self concious or lacking in confidence Hmm ... but you get what I mean

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 14/05/2011 12:31

He is a brat and she is ridiculous for allowing him to behave like this. I'm glad she has said he won't now be dying his hair green for the wedding, but personally I would remove him as a pageboy anyway, because of this deliberate attempt to spoil your wedding day, but I understand that would cause more bad feeling.

If he turns up with anything other than a natural hair colour, I would relegate him to the congregation immediately.

chrisonabike · 14/05/2011 12:35

introduce a hat to his pageboy outfit. or a wig..

BelovedCunt · 14/05/2011 12:35

get him a sailors hat to wear on the day

weebleswobblebutidontfalldown · 14/05/2011 12:40

Sorry if already suggested but Can you have a mix of colour and black and white photos?
That way you can have the black and white ones of your nephew and hopefully the green will look a shade of grey?

WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper · 14/05/2011 12:42

I'm really Shock and Hmm about a parent who lets their 9yo be so outwardly rebellious. And probably encourages it from what you said.

Seems a bit like she's desperate to be the coolest mum around and is more like a best mate than a mum? Am I correct? What's he like generally, behaviour wise?

geordieminx · 14/05/2011 12:47

Send all of the pictures to me and I will Photoshop them...DN will have dark blonde hair...your SIL will have horns.. Grin

activate · 14/05/2011 12:48

you must do nothing but laugh at them now

if you show any anger or disgust she will play the bridezilla card

if you just laugh pointedly at how totally ridiculous the whole situation was then it takes the wind out I think

GoodDaysBadDays · 14/05/2011 12:49

Yanbu!

Agree with all the other posters who say sil is bvu.

But wrt school is it the beginning of half term then so the school thing is not an issue? Having said that they should still wait til after the wedding.

I let my ds's do odd things with their hair in the holidays but they are in their teens now. Up until 13 their hair was mine! And when it comes to important things I still have final say.

Enjoy your day op. Hope the nutty sil sorts herself out

MercurySoccer · 14/05/2011 12:53

Only fair to warn them in advance that green hair = not pageboy, normal hair = pageboy, and on the day that is what will happen with no further comment from you. Then it's their choice and they only have themselves to blame if he turns up with green hair and gets demoted.

fustyarse · 14/05/2011 13:00

DNP - that is one of the sweetest things I have ever read. You really made me smile!

OP - your SIL sounds jealous. Good on you for putting her back in her box.

FakePlasticTrees · 14/05/2011 13:00

YANBU - although this boy is going to have a rude shock when he gets to secondary school, he might get away with odd coloured hair at primary, but no way he'll get away with it at the next stage. Oh, your SIL is going to be one of those mothers who go to the Daily Mail everytime their child wants to break the school rules...

If he turns up with green hair away, cancel him being a page boy.

KeepCalmAndCurryOn · 14/05/2011 13:20

WE MUST SEE DNP's WEDDING PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SoupDragon · 14/05/2011 13:27

"Actually, the wedding album is pretty amazing. Big white dress, tuxedos, formal bridesmaids....and one cloaked Hobbit with polished walking staff."

PMSL. One of those rare occasions where I do actually laugh out loud at the screen :o

PelvicFloorsOfSteel · 14/05/2011 13:33

I'd normally be the first to tell people to relax and stop being bridezilla about things but YANBU. This sounds like a very deliberate attempt to cause upset/ make someone else centre of attention at your wedding.

Another vote for dying hair (any colour, not just green) = not being page boy and not in photos.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/05/2011 13:37

Another one here who thinks the attention-seeking hair dying could wait a week. I'm surprised that SIL hasn't suggested it to her son herself.

Gooseberrybushes · 14/05/2011 13:38

this is such an odd way to behave

surely people are flattered to be asked to be part of a wedding and want to do the right thing by the couple?

this is odd behaviour and they don't seem to mind upsetting you at all, there wasn't even an "oh gosh sorry" in the phone call

demotion i'm afraid if there's any more silliness

and ambushing you on the day with odd clothes/hair whatever is just deliberate and mean - demotion should follow there too

this is a very unusual and selfish way to behave

Swipe left for the next trending thread