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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be dismayed at the increasing number of pregnant women I see smoking

305 replies

likingthespring · 13/05/2011 15:37

I used to notice the odd one or two but I've seen loads recently. Maybe it's not that there's more women smoking in pregnancy but just more not giving a shit what people think.

OP posts:
VeryProudDaddy · 16/05/2011 15:17

What do you think the umbilical cord is for!

TheCowardlyLion · 16/05/2011 16:36

aliceliddell - not that I know of. I don't think there's a thread on pregnant women and sushi either, or pregnant women and the growing of clematis, or pregnant women and the invention of the weaving loom... I can try to list all the topics there isn't a thread on if you'd like but it might take me some time. Or is there a point to your fabulous non-sequitur?

hairfullofsnakes · 16/05/2011 18:28

Sofaqueenie - talk to your midwife, there is a lot of support and help out there. Do it as soon as you can and be strong! X

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 18:34

Sofaqueen it must be very very hard and I feel for you. Keep trying and like HFOS says, give your MW a call and see if she has anything useful to offer you. I don't know if they can give you anytging chemical iykwim(I have no experience of this myself) but I hope there is other support out there for you

And congrats on the pregnancy! :o

K999 · 16/05/2011 19:37

I second talking to your midwife. When I was pregnant with dd1 I was told I couldn't go on patches etc. She knew I was struggling so I cut down to about 5 a day. Not ideal, I know, but maybe things are different now with regards nicotine substitutes?

Sidge · 16/05/2011 19:44

There's no point using the anecdotal "I smoked throughout pregnancy and my teen is fine" line - research is now showing that smoking in pregnancy can cause problems with the child well into adulthood, in terms of an increased likelihood of COPD, asthma and cancer even where the child hasn't smoked.

Also smoking can affect the foetus's developing ovaries and eggs, so your not-yet-born daughter and future granddaughters could have fertility problems as a result of your own smoking.

Giving up smoking is bloody hard but it's do-able, especially with the support and resources available now. And let's be honest, being pregnant is one of the best motivators for quitting - if you don't want to quit when pregnant then you probably never will.

Sidge · 16/05/2011 19:55

sofaqueenie - hadn't refreshed the page and seen your thread - see your GP, midwife or practice nurse. You can use Nicotine Replacement Therapies in pregnancy.

Nicotine itself isn't harmful in small doses, it's a stimulant but not essentially dangerous. NRT is far safer in pregnancy than smoking as it gives your brain what it wants i.e. nicotine, without all the other dangerous chemicals that cigarettes give you.

Also seek out a local cessation service - research shows that quitters do much better with NRT + support rather than going it alone. Your area may have a midwife-led smoking cessation service that you can access.

hairfullofsnakes · 16/05/2011 20:01

Well said re the dangers Sidge - smoking in pregnancy is so so bad for a developing foetus that women must do all they can to stop. Some people try to say that it better to have a few than to be stressed but that is just a poor excuse. The effects on the baby are forever - it's just not worth it abd unjustifiable

teaforone · 16/05/2011 21:14

You are all going on about justify the fact people smoked but actually reading the threads on her the non smokers Just keep saying "Your all trying justiy"

Bit werid the smokers are not saying it lol

TheCowardlyLion · 16/05/2011 21:15

What??

teaforone · 16/05/2011 21:20

just saying the non smokers are saying stupid stuff about the smokers i did not try and justify myself i simple said that i smoke ....
How is that trying to defend myself ? I saw a thread and answered it :)

hairfullofsnakes · 16/05/2011 23:21

Actually some are trying to justify it by saying their children are ok, it was stressful so my midwife told me to not stop ( why on earth a midwife would say that I don't know), and bringing other dangers Ito the thread admit it somehow makes it ok, so some people are trying to justify it.

sausagesandmarmelade · 17/05/2011 06:34

Yes people are trying to justify it...and saying basically that it's the woman's choice and that no-one has any business to say otherwise!!!!

Well done Hair....you SO did the right thing, must have been really difficult...but you put your baby first.

Sofa - you CAN do it too...with some support and help. Good Luck!

TheBlindAssassin · 17/05/2011 07:21

If you noticed, it was someone who holds a non-smoker's view that brought other dangers into the thread. I personally never stated that it was ok - I just implied that it was rather convenient for some to focus lots of vitriol on pregnant mothers who smoke whilst ignoring the (more important and sometimes lots more dangerous) parts we ALL play in harming our (and other) children's health.

By the way, if someone smoked through pregnancy and their children turned out with no respiratory issues or smoking-related illnesses, it is their right to state as such. My mother smoked whilst she was pregnant with me and, to my knowledge, it has never adversely affected my health. It's just a fact. And people are, on the one hand, told to listen to and take the advice given to them by health professionals, but then disparaged when they do. If a qualified midwife/doctor tells a mother that she may continue smoking if doing otherwise would be more detrimental to her and her baby, then I simply do not see how a non-health professional can profess with all certainty to have the medical knowledge and experience to state otherwise, especially without knowing all the different factors that led to the midwife/doctor reaching that decision.

At the end of the day, say what you wish, but it IS the mother's choice. Until that choice becomes illegal, then you may judge as much as you like but it makes not one iota of difference other than you perhaps feeling slightly better about yourself whilst most probably sitting behind the wheel of a car much more poisonous overall than a cigarette, or crossing a road with your children before the pedestrian light allows for it, or feeding your children foodstuff that contains aspartame, etc etc. Smoking or not, all those actions carry extreme risk but you as a parent make the decision to take that risk and hope for the best. What makes you any better than others who do the same?

MistressFrankly · 17/05/2011 07:52

It is all very well to say it is the mothers right to do as she wishes with her body but if she didnt want to make sacrifices motherhood is really not the best option! 9 months isnt so very long to think of someone else and give up a few bad habits. I say this as a smoker who had to work in a pub throughout her pregnancy and watch everyone else drink and go out for smokes. Yes it sucks but personally i could not live with the thought i may be endangering my child. Ok some kids are totally unaffected but i dont see the logic that says that means it is a worthwhile gamble. Yes we drive cars etc but cigs are such an unneccesary and avoidable part of our lives that it really shouldnt be that big deal to say no for a bit.

ilovesprouts · 17/05/2011 08:01

not read all this thread ,this thread has been done may many times !!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/05/2011 08:35

Where the fuck are all these smoking pregnanters then? I've not seen one for years. Confused

As onagar says, these "threads are not really about the welfare of the baby all, but really about picking a group of people to be superior to"

sofaqueenie please don't be too hard on yourself. As others have said, talk to your MW. There's help out there.

Housemare · 17/05/2011 08:50

The type of women who puff merrily away in pregnancy are usually the thick ones who don't breastfeed and stuff their chavvy kids little children full of Mc Donalds.
It is impossible to be an intelligent woman and smoke throughout pregnancy with what we now know.

Gets a wedgey from judgey pants

Housemare · 17/05/2011 08:52

Those who say it makes people feel superior.

Erm, yup. Do I feel superior to someone who couldn't be fucked to stop smoking throughout pregnancy? Too damn right I do. In the same way I feel inferior to all shit parents.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/05/2011 09:01

the thick ones who don't breastfeed
Hmm

ApplesinmyPocket · 17/05/2011 09:04

Well said, Housemare! (surely you made your post in the spirit of ironic support for Onagar's point?)

Housemare · 17/05/2011 09:11

Jenai - there is no correlation between being thick and not breastfeeding but there is between being thick and smoking whilst pregnant.

HTH.

TheBlindAssassin · 17/05/2011 09:22

Well, I could say I feel superior to someone who couldn't be fucked to breastfeed for at least 6 months. In the same way I could say I feel superior to those who don't or can't be fucked to put their kids through private education. Or the same way I feel superior to those who just can't be fucked to work hard enough to provide their children with a house where they each have their own bedroom and a large garden in which to play. Or I feel superior to those who can't be fucked to find other ways to travel around without resorting to using a car. Or I feel superior to those who couldn't be fucked to raise their children as straight A* students. Or I feel superior to those who couldn't be fucked to work as hard as I do to provide their children with a luxurious and comfortable lifestyle.

I mean, after all, it's impossible to be an intelligent woman and not do all the things listed above with what we now know and the opportunities afforded to all of us.

Then again, that would make me sound like a complete dick ... so I would rather just say that we all make our choices and we have to be able to live with them.

PS - Housemare, I'm thinking you meant that you feel superior to shit parents (if you felt inferior to shit parents, that wouldn't bode too well for your prior superiority ...)

TheBlindAssassin · 17/05/2011 09:24

And regarding no correlation between being thick and not breastfeeding, that may be your opinion but there are many breastfeeders out there who would disagree with you entirely ...

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/05/2011 09:36

Housemare there is no correlation between being thick and not breastfeeding

So why mention it?

Oh, and what TheBlindAssassin says. Particularly about your inferiority to shit parents.

HTH