Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 ··· 12 13

Original poster

To be dismayed at the increasing number of pregnant women I see smoking

305 replies

likingthespring · 13/05/2011 15:37

I used to notice the odd one or two but I've seen loads recently. Maybe it's not that there's more women smoking in pregnancy but just more not giving a shit what people think.

OP posts:

handsomeharry · 13/05/2011 22:23

'beating people over the head' - hardly.

We are expressing an opinion on a thread on MN, not manning the bloody barricades!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/05/2011 22:24

TheCowardlyLion... What are you achieving though? So you judge... and? Does it make you feel good? Powerful? Righteous in your indignation? Rallying the troops? What? I'm genuinely interested.

K999 · 13/05/2011 22:24

My grandad was an alcoholic. He could see what it was doing to himself, his family and his life. He didn't give up. I think they called it addiction. But I could be wrong. Funnily enough, after witnessing terrible things and generally having a shitty upbringing, his children (my mum included) never judged him.....go figure???

pink4ever · 13/05/2011 22:27

"beating people over the head"-no if I was doing that then I would be stubbing their clatty ciggies out in their eyes(which believe me there have been times when I have been sorely tempted). Or screamed in their faces HOW DARE YOU do this to your unborn child-especially when my beloved babies died. But I only judge from afar.Yes I am a horrible,horrible judgy person.

MrsFlittersnoop · 13/05/2011 22:29

I utterly refuse to believe that MORE pregnant women are smoking nowadays. That is complete and utter bollocks. Every survey on the subject has shown that smoking, and ESPECIALLY smoking when pregnant, has declined year on year for the last 2 decades. In 2005, 17/% of pregnant women were smokers, compared to 27.% in 1995.

I do not believe the OP has suddenly noticed loads of pregnant women smoking. Not unless she's recently moved to from an affluent area to a very deprived one.

Oh yes, smoking rates amongst the poorest and least well-educated pregnant women, particularly those who are single and live in social housing, are 2-3 times higher than average. Anyone surprised?

No-one, but no-one pretends smoking when pregnant is a good thing - even crap poor smoking single mums on benefits.This is a total Non-Debate.

Or shall we just be honest and admit this is a smug sneer-at-chav-parents thread?

hairfullofsnakes · 13/05/2011 22:31

Totally agree with you cowardlylion and totally disagree with lyingwitch that it is petty. Like you said cowardly - how strange that women who smoke when pg are defended buy judging them is seen as the bad thing. It would be hilarious if it werent so tragic.

pink4ever · 13/05/2011 22:32

I wondered when someone would play the "shitty upbringing" card. k999-please dont think me unsympathetic-my own father is an alcoholic. He didnt have the best of upbringings himself but I dont think thats an excuse. Shitty things happen to everyone(Ive had more than my fair share)but I dont use it as an excuse for selfish behaviour.
If you smoke nowadays while pregnant knowing full well the risks(and being offered all sorts of help) then you are 100% selfish.Dont care how shitty your life has been-dont heap your shit on your unborn child.

handsomeharry · 13/05/2011 22:33

Admit it if you like MrsFlittersnoop.

I won't judge you for it!

hairfullofsnakes · 13/05/2011 22:33

NO you are not a horrible person pink - you are completely right to judge this.

I very very sorry for your losses too.

Gentleness · 13/05/2011 22:33

OP wasn't asking about judging. She said she was dismayed and the increasing number of pregnant women smoking.

Defending their right to make a poor choice is not the point. Do you think she should feel happy at seeing this? Or just have no emotional reaction at all?

usualsuspect · 13/05/2011 22:34

op knew what she was doing ..a bit like the other 10000000000000 threads started along the same lines

pink4ever · 13/05/2011 22:35

hairfulofsnakes-thanks. Think I will have to stop banging on as sounds like I am on sort of crusade!.

K999 · 13/05/2011 22:36

I wasn't playing any "card". I was joining in the debate and illustrating with my personal experiences/opinions....which, admittedly are different from yours , but hey, c'est la vie....

capricorn76 · 13/05/2011 22:37

I also don't understand this strange MN phenomena where judging people is the worse thing you can do. I seriously believe that one day there will be a thread where someone discusses doing crack/smack whilst being pregnant and there will be more people on there saying they are entitled to do it and that we shoudln't judge them than people quite rightfully judging them.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/05/2011 22:38

pink4ever... I'm not in your position so I really can't imagine how it feels for you. It is a fact though that healthy babies can be born to women who take risks, whilst non-risk takers can lose their babies or the babies are born with life limiting conditions. You know this is true. The fact that you lost your own babies is dreadfully sad, of course it is, whatever the reasons that they were lost.

Miscarriages and stillbirths can happen at any time for a myriad of reasons.. do we then judge a pregnant woman who has alcohol, pate, soft cheese... stress at work, arguments and elevated blood pressure - resulting in the loss of a baby? :(

It must seem very unfair to you but to feel so angry at pregnant women who smoke achieves absolutely nothing. Smoking whilst pregnant is on the decline - it was common in the Sixties, Seventies - now it isn't.

I don't know you, pink, but if you were one of my friends, I'd be gently suggesting that you get some help for your feelings of grief and anger. In case you think I'm being sarcastic, I'm not.

DoMeDon · 13/05/2011 22:39

I smoke. I stopped during pg and never smoke around DD. I think if you are smoking when pg and not trying to give up it is sad and selfish. I do think some try really hard to give up and just can't manage it.

A woman I know went out for a fag during labour. That made me feel sick.

BertieBasset · 13/05/2011 22:40

So those who wouldn't judge a pregnant woman smoking - would you judge a mum or dad holding a new born with a fag in the other hand? Would you think that was acceptable?

MrsFlittersnoop · 13/05/2011 22:41

Gentleness - there is no "increasing number of pregnant women smoking". There is a steadily DECLINING number of pregnant women smoking.

Please see my previous post. "In 2005, 17/% of pregnant women were smokers, compared to 27.% in 1995."

These figures were all obtained from recent surveys easiy findable on t'interweb. I'll post links if anyone is interested.

Or would you all rather believe in folk devils and moral panics?

pink4ever · 13/05/2011 22:41

k999-I genuinely wasnt having a pop at you there.Just meant that people will come up with all sorts of excuses as long as it means they dont have to confront their own behaviour.
I am sure you come up with all sorts of excuses about why you still choose to smoke. My mum did(too stressed,would get fat if she stopped,no point as her parents smoked blah blah blah). Didnt stop me harrassing her constantly!. I was the bratty child with NO SMOKING stickers on my bedroom door.

K999 · 13/05/2011 22:44

Thanks. But, believe this or not, I smoke because I enjoy it. I know the risks. Wish I had never started. However, all that does not detract from the fact that I like and enjoy it.....

pink4ever · 13/05/2011 22:46

lying-could you possibly be more patronising?. Really?. Yes I know women who smoke can have healthy babies-its called striking it lucky. And you cannot seriously compare eating pate to smoking during pregnancy?.
Yes I am well aware of the fact that smoking in pregnancy is on the decline. Surely in a large part due to the fact that it had now become socially unacceptable(or in other words-judged!!!).

handsomeharry · 13/05/2011 22:47

Genuine question K999 - if you like and enjoy it why do you wish you had never started?

Am not having a pop, would really like to know.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/05/2011 22:48

BertieBasset... I've never seen a newborn being held by anyone with a cigarette in their hand. If you have, what would you DO about it? Anything? Or just start a thread here so that everyone can be outraged?

My Mum smoked all the time when we were young, I didn't like it - I used to sit in front of her on the sofa and she'd be puffing away, the smoke blowing across the top of my head as I was so much smaller. I remember it vividly, but I'm not going to criticise my Mum or judge her for it, even though people (on a chatboard) who don't know her, probably will.

pink4ever · 13/05/2011 22:49

k999-I am sure you do enjoy it but do your kids enjoy being kissed by your smoky breath?. Do they enjoy having their health put at risk due to passive/second hand smoke?. You are an adult-as you say you made a choice to start.Please dont continue to impose that choice on your children. Go and see your gp. You can do it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/05/2011 22:53

pink4ever... Yes I can compare it, it's personal choice, only without the addiction element. That's why I picked the example. Net results can be the same.

I'm sorry if you think I was being patronising, I was trying to be reasonable through your rant.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 ··· 12 13