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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Congealed gussets?

324 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 09/05/2011 11:43

It's only polite.

You take off your pants.

You fold them up.

Even screw them up if you're a wee bit lazy.

But concealment is key.

My 5yo knows this simple life skill.

Nobody wants to see what's ranking in your pants.

Not even the washer.

Nor a visiting guest who happens to walk past your washing dump basket.

[sonicboak]

OP posts:
InAStateOfReflux · 09/05/2011 22:05

I want tag-lines for this thread please...

Crusty side up?

Domestos douche?

Smear campaign?

InAStateOfReflux · 09/05/2011 22:05

Ah!

Gunky gussets?

NulliusInVerba · 09/05/2011 22:07

I can see the headline now

"Acid fanny melts man's tubes leaving him infertile"

Oh well. On the plus side, no hormones for me! Grin

bellavita · 09/05/2011 22:07

Oh and I have got my smear on Wednesday, I will be a knicker hider under my jeans too...

NulliusInVerba · 09/05/2011 22:08

InAState- Acid knicker bleaching - is your fanjo in neutral today?

MNHQ can have that for free Grin

mummissinghermind · 09/05/2011 22:11

I think domestos douche, brilliant, Pantyliners on prescription for bleachers perhaps? I absolutely want the price of black knickers brought down, its a national scandal!

InAStateOfReflux · 09/05/2011 22:16

Grin at all the above!

Arion · 09/05/2011 22:27

I feel so normal! Grin I am a closet gusset bleacher but I always conceal my congealed gussets!

Gusset bleachers anonymous anyone! Now I do have something to be worried about if I get "outed" in RL and someone looks at back threads!!

Oh, one more thought, how many of you gusset bleaching lovely ladies are going to the mumsnet meet-up? Will there be a secret handshake or should the words "moist" or "congealed" be mentioned in the introduction? Grin

Or do I have a really warped sense of humour? Hmm

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 09/05/2011 22:28

TwoIfBy, more alopogies, I had a real life to at-tena-d Wink to.

But the reason these badbad thoughts were in my head was due to a visit to a friends this weekend.

Hardhat are you wondering yet if I could possibly be your very RL friend?

Grin
OP posts:
mummissinghermind · 09/05/2011 22:30

On a more sombre note, are our fannys' to blame for the enviromental carnage happening in rivers and lakes.Shock

NulliusInVerba · 09/05/2011 22:44

Nah, to be fair, thats just probably the real domestos we chuck down there fucking up the eco system......

constantlywrong · 09/05/2011 22:46

To be honest, I could not care less what causes it.

I now know all I need to know. There are other weirdos women who do it too.

Also a knicker-whipper-upper.

mummissinghermind · 09/05/2011 22:50

constantly it's so reassuring isn't it ?. Now please are we agreed that the price of black knickers must come down, they're just not up to the job!

constantlywrong · 09/05/2011 22:53

It is ! (I actually spat coffee on my keyboard at cockrot btw)

And definitely re black knickers. It's just not right. Clearly they're doing it deliberately. I've bought 5 or 6 pairs of the same (fairly pricey) black knickers because they keep getting ruined and are my staple "no lines/comfy/yet sexy" underwear. They know a good thing when they see it (well, provided it's not congealed concealed.)

bupcakesandcunting · 09/05/2011 22:55

I can tell a Chaos thread now just from title. It's quite a skill!

mummissinghermind · 09/05/2011 23:01

I'm incandescent with the injustice of it, those staple no lines/comfy/yet sexy knickers are very expensive, its blatant exploitation of bleacher is what it is.

I do hide my domestos fanjo knickers from DH, but what would he think, i might just come out, im sick of living a lie, im a bleacher ok , its not like i killed anyone it could be cathartic.

nikki1978 · 09/05/2011 23:03

Hmm well I have been a gusset bleacher in the past but reading this made me realise it hasn't happened for a long while now. And I have started drinking more fizzy stuff in the last few years whereas I used to drink mainly water so that theory doesn't work. Also my pelvic floor is shot to shit and I don't get it yet I did as a teenager so I doubt it is wee...

confuddledDOTcom · 09/05/2011 23:05

I'm loving this thread, it's distracting me from contractions and wriggly baby!

I was having internal scans through the first half of my pregnancy so had the pants hiding on a regular basis! I just leave them inside my jeans though and carefully fold the top over to cover them then leave them pushed aside. The radiographer is on the other side of the bed to where I get dressed so it's out of her way.

NulliusInVerba · 09/05/2011 23:05

mumissing you should show him this thread, explain that all the bleachers are coming out of the closet (or knicker drawer) now, you wont accept the stigma and bleacherism anymore!!

Bleacher fanjo is not a crime!

Incidentaly, what do alkaline cocks do? Do they get alkaline boxers??!! Confused

hatwoman · 09/05/2011 23:11

I haven't read the whole thread (I will - am half way through) but feel the need to post.

Has anyone mentioned the Queen yet? It often troubles me what the Queen does about her gussets. It's why I could never be Queen. Or anyone who doesn't get to do their own washing. No-one goes near my gussets.

mummissinghermind · 09/05/2011 23:17

nullis you have given me strength and heart,confuddled i wore huge black(no doubt bleached) knickers when i was prregnant, could'n't see my feet, fanjo or anything else, out of sight out of mind, my' bleachees' have probably been written about in BMJ, im not ashamed don;t you be. nicky is that an air of non-bleaching smugness im detecting?Smile

mummissinghermind · 09/05/2011 23:22

hats the Queen, do you think she'd join my campaign for a reduction in price of black knickersHmm.TBF no-one would want to come near my gussets, might lose a finger, fanjo juice has been known to leave men with manginas' honest ask inastateofreflux

crystalglasses · 10/05/2011 00:16

Once, when I was very young, I was hired as a cleaner by a pub landlady. She lived above the premises and one of my tasks was to handwash her knickers, paying particular attention to the gusset area. At the time I just accepted it (as teenagers do) although I remember thinking how on earth she could let a virtual stranger scrub away at such intimate area of underwear. I do remember being impressed at the quality of her undies which were very frilly and silky.

Wabbit · 10/05/2011 01:27

I've wasted a good hour of essay writing time reading this and weeping tears of laughter... I never knew I sounded so asthmatic when I laugh 'til tonight ... has made the whole

Virgowoo · 10/05/2011 01:41

Another closeted bleacher coming out...

Fascinating stuff. I don't think it's Ph though. I'm going with the Lactobacillus Theory

It's a natural flora which creates hydrogen peroxide as part of a self cleaning process. That would explain the colour bleaching.

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