to think that I am doomed to a life of singledom forever?

[DameShirleyKnot]

I have been thinking recently about maybe getting a new boyfriend at some point in the future.

As the only men I ever meet are wankers, I don't know why I crossed that out actually, yes, most of the men I meet are wankers, I have decided to start having a little look on Guardian Soulmates to get an idea of what is out there.

Basically, what is out there is men like:

"Crazy Creator
Intuitive, playful, spontaneous, celebratory, he makes things - sometimes for 'the world of culture' but many times for you, songs, poems, cards, perfumes, he will get the tube carriage to sing happy birthday to you, hold a gigantic airport placard with your name on or when you are ill he will dress as a doctor...he will jump without thinking!!!!."

This. This man talks about himself in the 3rd person and is a dickhead.

Can anyone find me someone who is NOT a pretentious arse please?

show us your pro then srat? have you done a fakey one like shirl?

Give it a minute Sarah!

I only got messages immediately because there are approx 7 billion desperate men on Plenty of Fish.

This is whyIamsingle brilliant.

Am genuinely puzzled as to hy tree-climbing would be considered someone's central good point. Unless you're 8 or course

I always want to post one of those brutally honest ads on there, I'm thinking of: "Sarcastic woman with all features in roughly right place seeks blue-eyed dark-haired non-fatty smartarse to cook for her."

It would attract feeders but frankly I'm down with that.

"I would like someone funny, bright and gorgeous to accomodate this schedule as much as she can, with a view to falling in love, worshipping me in some way and letting me 'get her pregnant' so we can pass on our genetic inheritence, including but not limited to: looks, manners & philosophies to our children ( Ideally, four. Failing that, three and a puppy...although I would like to avoid an odd number of children if at all possible )."

"Odd" number of children = ten and three quarters.

Noo I did a real one

With me on it

Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz

Err, piss off Manatee. In the nicest possible way. I am not dating someone who looks like Satan and has a big quartz sphinx and boasts about it.

no, no, no linkies!!!

You will bring the wrath of the po's on us with linkies!

i want to know if his sphinx of quartz is real :-|

oh and on that profile there is the phrase "with a splash of Miranda Hart." which is the worst thing written anywhere, ever.

I hate Miranda Hart. I want to stab her with blunt instruments and throw the bits to Zombies

What are po's Shirl?

OMG. Bet he has too much Aleister Crowley on his bookshelf.

Oo no. Sorry. Whoops I will ask MNHQ to remove the linkypost.

Yes but what is a Pos?

Ohhh. Quotes are ok though. Aren't they?

we are tryig to find our Prince Charming Reality, but its like wading through the trash looking for your lost tenner

I thought a POS was a Point of Sale.

Sorry Sarahstratton- LRB is London Review of Books.

good idea reality, here girls! theres a 25% discount sale on, (click on the husbands)