to think that I am doomed to a life of singledom forever?

[DameShirleyKnot]

I have been thinking recently about maybe getting a new boyfriend at some point in the future.

As the only men I ever meet are wankers, I don't know why I crossed that out actually, yes, most of the men I meet are wankers, I have decided to start having a little look on Guardian Soulmates to get an idea of what is out there.

Basically, what is out there is men like:

"Crazy Creator
Intuitive, playful, spontaneous, celebratory, he makes things - sometimes for 'the world of culture' but many times for you, songs, poems, cards, perfumes, he will get the tube carriage to sing happy birthday to you, hold a gigantic airport placard with your name on or when you are ill he will dress as a doctor...he will jump without thinking!!!!."

This. This man talks about himself in the 3rd person and is a dickhead.

Can anyone find me someone who is NOT a pretentious arse please?

It doesn't matter if they don't though Sarah. You don't have to reply or anything.

YANBU I tried the Guardian site a couple of years ago. Made me want to weep at the thought that might be it. Step away!!!

Since then have tried a Sugardaddie type site as antidote as thought they might have a bit of gumption to them (full of cocks, what did I expect), sundaytimes site (approx 65% from South Africa) and eharmony (keep matching me with the intellectually challenged, despite me having intelligence as my only non negotiable).

One man (scientist) sent me his notes about his day. Every day. This included far too much info about bacteria. And the specification of his phone's operating system.

Another man explained after two months of great communication that if I was a car, he would like to test drive me. The only problem was that he wasn't sure if he wanted a sports, SUV or 4x4 in his garage. Didn't ask what category I was...

And so on....

Keep going! Just remember you are looking for someone special, and they don't come along every day....

I have found the most perfect perfect picture put on the internet for dating purposes ever. And I can't share it with you because that would be really funny unfair on the person who posted it.

I will PM though

you think youve hit rock bottom with the men on POF? i tried a website called girldateforfree last week, jayzus, it was bad, im too scared to go back

Hit me up with the PM, Shirl.

Why does it say I want a man between 18 and 35? I can't see where to edit that bit :(

PM me shirl

you can edit it on the search i think sarah

It must be there Sarah!

PM me pleeeease Shirl

Unless it's Big Ears, I've already seen him.

PS found it, it was on the 'what I want' section. Which does not have a chipolata section. Bit of an oversight there methinks.

OMFG....are these men for real ?

fooking ell, he looks like hes trying to force out a HUGEMONGUS fart

VinegarTits - sounds like the website equivalent of clubs where ladeez get in free, with two free drinks as an added pull.

I bet he likes holding hands and country walks.

he keeps tryig to get to the states but they wont let him in something gets in his way

I think he looks like he would KILL YOU IN YOUR FACE

luvvinlife - yes, they are all real.

Good God he looks like a football hooligan [snob emoticon]

he looks like someone sneeked up behind him and ripped out his arsehole

he must think this is a good look for him

Done it

No messages yet though

ooohh its says hes NOT single and NOT looking, i wonder what unlucky girl bagged that on for herself

"So to appear witty yet wise, a non neurotic but with enough shreds of self awareness to write this piece. Excite at finding new director, writer, thinker, play that pricks interest and speaks truths that make the spirits sing. Could mutter on about wild romps in the country, free juke boxes or oldey boy pubs but I won't. Hope I am not normal as rail to realise the authentic self as much as able."

His face is mostly forehead as well.