to think that I am doomed to a life of singledom forever?

[DameShirleyKnot]

I have been thinking recently about maybe getting a new boyfriend at some point in the future.

As the only men I ever meet are wankers, I don't know why I crossed that out actually, yes, most of the men I meet are wankers, I have decided to start having a little look on Guardian Soulmates to get an idea of what is out there.

Basically, what is out there is men like:

"Crazy Creator
Intuitive, playful, spontaneous, celebratory, he makes things - sometimes for 'the world of culture' but many times for you, songs, poems, cards, perfumes, he will get the tube carriage to sing happy birthday to you, hold a gigantic airport placard with your name on or when you are ill he will dress as a doctor...he will jump without thinking!!!!."

This. This man talks about himself in the 3rd person and is a dickhead.

Can anyone find me someone who is NOT a pretentious arse please?

ah right! thanks for explaining that. You'll have all the ol' codgers sending you messages, wanting to come and check out your 18ness.

Shirl, you said you are 18. You are going to be BESEIGED.

its says youve been in a 10 yr relationship and your 18?

well spotted VT. hmmm. will the men spot that?

I spotted a guy who was clearly doing what you were doing, he had his height in as 4 foot ten.

But, if they read my profile and see that my name is JustLOOKINGDONTGETEXCITED surely they'll think - oh, she's just looking, I wont get excited.

Oh yes, just seen the rest of it. Well it shows committment, 8 - 18 and is quite thrillingly Lolita-ish.

VT - she says her last long-term relationship was 10 years ago - when she was 8.

and the allure of 18-ness has already caught one big old fish on the line.

Or maybe he has a GSOH.

just got another messgae in my inbox saying:

"hey you sound angry ,but nice how are you ?"

I shit you not.

Be single
Own teeth
Taller than me (over 6ft)
No chipolatas
Solvent
Not a criminal
Able to drive a car without pissing me off/scaring me
Like animals
Not nag or whinge
No alcoholics
No druggies
No fatties
No steroid abusing weight lifting muscle obsessives
No couch potatoes
No mentallers
No cretinous extended families
No thickos

There, that should whittle out a fair few. Although it does sound ever so slightly scary

Great stuff. Perhaps miss out the chipolatas, or use code: "long thick index fingers"

Second reply = Triumph of optimism over grammar.

Would 'big feet' or 'big nose' be ok?

I've got to go out and do something useful but I really don't want to leave this thread.....

Have fiddle slightly. End result is this:

Be single
Own teeth
Taller than me (over 6ft)
Big feet/nose
Solvent
Not a criminal
Able to drive a car without pissing me off/scaring me
Like animals
Not nag or whinge
No alcoholics
No druggies
No fatties
No steroid abusing weight lifting muscle obsessives
No couch potatoes
No mentallers

Having a sane extended family, and the ability to hold a civilised conversation would be a distinct advantage. Not that I can guarantee anything like that in return...

Hmmm it's tricky. What about a blanket "large appurtenances"?

Although I am going to add /stalkers next to the mentallers bit. Don't want any weirdos, after all

Leave it as no chipolatos, I like it.

when i get home from work later im going revive my old pof profile and sit myself down with a bot. of vod.

Big feet/nose does look a trifle unexpected.

But what if he does have a big nose and feet but a teeny weeny?

big nose/feet does not = big cock IME

Sweet cheeses I hope they get my sense of humour

Fingers. Fingers are foolproof. Check em out.

3 messages now. The latest tells me I have nice eyes lol.

this is one weird place. "About Me: What u see is what u get" - which is a photo off a bloke in a toilet.

Ok is it better to say 'divorced' or 'single'?