to think that I am doomed to a life of singledom forever?

[DameShirleyKnot]

I have been thinking recently about maybe getting a new boyfriend at some point in the future.

As the only men I ever meet are wankers, I don't know why I crossed that out actually, yes, most of the men I meet are wankers, I have decided to start having a little look on Guardian Soulmates to get an idea of what is out there.

Basically, what is out there is men like:

"Crazy Creator
Intuitive, playful, spontaneous, celebratory, he makes things - sometimes for 'the world of culture' but many times for you, songs, poems, cards, perfumes, he will get the tube carriage to sing happy birthday to you, hold a gigantic airport placard with your name on or when you are ill he will dress as a doctor...he will jump without thinking!!!!."

This. This man talks about himself in the 3rd person and is a dickhead.

Can anyone find me someone who is NOT a pretentious arse please?

Fucking hell, he likes "sitting on a park bench in Prim Rose Hill or dare I say the Archers on a Sunday morning lay in..."

Nah.

Tiny cock.

NEXT!

Isn't that an implication of a stealth-boast?

"primsrose hill" = very, very solvent.

But not actually saying he lives there. so you can't get him for mis-selling when it turns out he lives on the bench.

I have to go out :(

Maybe I will have messages when I get back

Give him a chance.

Ask him about "play that pricks interest and speaks truths that make the spirits sing"

You worry me Hully

Laters.

"sitting on a park bench in Prim Rose Hill

That means: living on a park bench in Catford

Laters!

I have found a profile on PoF of a young man who has a gawguss daughter. Which is really nice and that, but the best thing about him is that he has a photo of himself in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask on while unconcsious.

Why?

Perhaps it's his best side?

I have got to PM you it Hully. It is...AWESOME

noooo the links, the links!!!! just when I thought it was safe to go back... I clicked into GS.... its brought the whole horror back, will sue MN for PTSD

I want my other pm as well

oh.dear.lord.

I'll fight you for him.

Dear Shirl,

Please take this post as written confirmation that I would like to receive a PM of any gem you find, even if I'm not posting my usual witty and insightful anecdotes on the thread.

Cheers,

Tethers x

The combination of the tatts and the mask is irresistible.

Why are there so many young men on there? I don't get it...can't they just shag one of their mate's sisters or something?

They already are.

They are just greedy.

"If i dont reply to your message, please dont start sending more messages asking why i didnt reply because the chances are i wont reply to that one either so just leave it!! No there wasnt a problem with the server, your message did get delieverd... i just didnt want to reply! And Stop asking why i am on this site its pretty obvious, yes I am single ... the questions getting old now and i cant be botherd to answer it anymore!! If your sad enough to constantly be looking at the "whos viewed you" list and i pop up on there, dont start messaging me asking why i didnt message you because you could answer that question for yourself!!"

This angry little missive comes to us from Brad aka Ryder.

yep, he calls himself RYDER. WITH A "Y" yeah?

Yes. sad but true. And they know they are irresistible. See, we're laughing at them, but I bet they are all laughing and seeing how many birds they can get even when they are masked-up.

DameShirley its because they are also open to older women, trust me I know this! Ironically men my age are not interested, they seem to want up to 35!

Shirl! It's your chance, girl. Just blind yourself first and it'll be great.

open to older women eh?

FUCK YOU CarmemaBurina . Fuck you.

"I dont need to be part of a group to feel I belong, I like being a lone wolf. I'm not racist, sexist or homophobic. I enjoy eating and doing sports of all kinds, my passion lies in kettlebells ,skipping and mixed martial arts ATM

First Date: Crazy golf and lunch in the country."

Ding DONG!

"I have been thinking recently about maybe getting a new boyfriend at some point in the future." - And why would they want you?

have you considered prison inmates?

they are very receptive and those serving time for more unsavoury crimes don't mind the older lady

Tiggy - that is terribly harsh.

Anyone would be lucky to have Shirl. Fact.