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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why Katie Hopkins had three children?

215 replies

ShuffleBallChange · 05/05/2011 19:34

She went back to work three weeks after having her babies and thinks all women should. I was still bleeding heavily and surviving on about three hours sleep a night then!!!!!!

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 07/05/2011 10:24

I'm curious about what her career is too. For someone who's claim to fame is being some sort of hard-assed career woman, what the fuck does she do?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/05/2011 10:26

Good grief, she's getting some 'airtime' here... she'd be thrilled, if only she was a mumsnutter as she calls them... Grin

pickyourbrain · 07/05/2011 10:38

If she left her babies with her mum what is the difference between that and a dad going back to work after 2 weeks and leaving his baby with his wife?

If indeed she did say that all women should do the same then yes, she's an idiot. But other thsan that, I don't think she did anything wrong in going back to work so quickly and any one who judges her for that is as bad as someone judging women for not going back to work... surely you can all see that?

ThisIsANiceCage · 07/05/2011 11:10

Here's Katie in her own words in that One Show segment, about 8:50 mins in.

Ishani · 07/05/2011 11:12

If she left her babies with her mum

Thats the irony, has her mums brain and arse gone to pot, is ok for her mum to be brain dead but not her, charming eh ?

ThisIsANiceCage · 07/05/2011 11:17

Apologies to those who feel she's getting more than enough airtime, btw. I just think this thread might as well be about what she actually said.

hairylights · 07/05/2011 11:20

Go on op hook up your judgey pants just a little bit more.

It's her choice to have three ... And when to go back to work.

Pet hate of mine is women judging other women about their choice of when to go back to work.

hairylights · 07/05/2011 11:22

"Katie seems to think she is a chicken, just laying her egg and then off she pops while someone else cracks it and cooks it....."

Biscuit

I'm amazed how misogynistic some women are.

Beveridge · 07/05/2011 11:36

I heard her on Radio Scotland a few weeks ago while I was in the postnatal ward (and manically expressing at the time for DS who was in the neonatal unit) and she said that she thought that the UK should be more like the US regarding mat leave (i.e have virtually none) as that was the kind of society we should be striving to emulate! shakes head at ridiculously badly informed woman with absolutely no understanding of how the 'American Dream' actually pans out for most people. Can't believe she is still being entertained on the media circuit weeks later.

With DD, I took months to recover physically (3 hours of pushing, then forceps) whereas with DS (one minute of pushing! Hallelujah!)I felt virtually back to normal within a week so on the medical side alone she clearly had an easy time of it and therefore is not qualified to pronounce forth on this on behalf of anyone else.

As for her dismissal of breastfeeding, I think I'll take my lead from millions of years of evolution and and run with that, thanks.

If she's looking for societies where there is greater equality and opportunity for women and a balanced approach to family life for both genders then you don't need to look much further than Scandinavia.

looks for muppet emoticon and is disappointed to find there isn't one

Beveridge · 07/05/2011 11:37

Oops. have mixed up * with < and >.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/05/2011 11:42

Agrees with hairylights, there seems to be a lot of 'pot calling kettle for a colour check' on this thread.

LostInTransmogrification · 07/05/2011 12:14

I've heard her being interviewed a few times and she appears to be like Margaret Thatcher on steroids ( sorry if I offend Mrs Thatcher). She seems to see people as burdens, expendable even, and I feel sorry for anyone who has to work for her.

And I suspect she had three children for organ donation possibilities (only joking probably)

pickyourbrain · 07/05/2011 12:19

Ishani but maybe Katie's mum is someone who wants to stay at home with children. Maybe she had her career already?
I'm not saying it's ok for her to judge other women, I'm just saying that judging her choices is just as bad.. and that actually what she has chosen to do is no different than what men do every day.

NulliusInVerba · 07/05/2011 12:21

Hairylights I am not at all misogynistic, I was making a point about how she views motherhood.

Fair enough if she needs to go back to work, but that is not what she is saying, she is saying every woman should go back to work, and if you dont, you are lazy!!!

A woman who pays someone else, or dumps her babies on family to raise them, a mere three weeks into their lives, has absolutley no concept of how hard it is to raise a family and run a home. How could she?

I have also seen her on QT and her veiws are quite clear, women should put up and shut up, act like her, and accept sexism from every angle. So who is the real misogynist??

NulliusInVerba · 07/05/2011 12:25

So what you are saying, is if its her choice then fine, yes?

What about the choices of her children? Do you really think her children are fine with not having a mother around, because she is too busy playing boardroom bitch and sleeping with other womens husbands?

Why have three when you have absolutly no intention of raising them yourself? If you cant afford not to work, then have less children, surely.
I think the OP's question was fair enough.

pickyourbrain · 07/05/2011 12:25

But nulls it's language like 'dumps her babies' that leads people to assume you judge women who go to work. Which is a misogynistic thing to think. Unless you would describe what most men do as 'dumping their babies' every day.

NulliusInVerba · 07/05/2011 12:30

Seriously you dont want to hear my veiws on men and their lack of child rearing! I can assure you I dont think men have some sort of right to do as they please and mommy should be tied to the cooker.

I dont believe that I should spend my life, pandering to men being their slave, and staying at home because thats what they want. So I dont.

But because of my veiws, I chose not to have 3 children and get married.

Katie chose to do this. My problem is, she clearly has not chose to go back to work in some sort of feminist fight. She has gone back to work because she damn well cant be arsed to raise her own children, and she is making her selfish choice to do what she wants
Surely you agree, that when you have children you make sacrifices for them?

pickyourbrain · 07/05/2011 12:31

Of course her choice is fine (maybe not the sleeping with other peoples husbands!) there are plenty of people who have children and go to work. It's not an alien concept. Sure, 3 weeks is extreme. But if anything I found it harder to leave mine at 5,6,7 years than at 3 weeks. SOme people don't relate to babies, it doesnt mean they shouldnt have children.

I detested evey minute of the first year but my am an excellent mother, I don't think that I should have denied myself or my children my excellent mothering for their whole lives just becuse I didnt want to do the baby bit.

Katie is horrid, we all know that, I couldnt abide her on apprentice. But at time the thread has come away from that fact to explore how wrong she is to have gone back to work so soon and shouldn't be allowed children for that reason. Possibly on the basis she's and old witch she probably isnt an excellent role model, but thats a different matter.

Someone used the example of Xenia. She went back to work a couple of weeks after each of her children and yet there is no way anyone could accuse her of not being a devoted mother.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/05/2011 12:31

Nullius... Women are always telling other women what they should be doing and judging them for their choices if they don't accord with what the mainstream thinks... going back to work, staying at home, breastfeeding, having children, not having children.... it's endless - and misogynistic.

What difference does the number of children make, using your point? One, two or three? Many women go out to work - why not judge them on spending less and cutting back on the lifestyles to stay at home?

Why can't people be free to make their own decisions without being judged for them? Confused

When women stop judging other women, that's when things will change... so nothing every will.

NulliusInVerba · 07/05/2011 12:35

Have either of you been raised by women like Katie?

Or did you have SAHM's?

I have seen the other side of the coin. Its not just the fact that she is working, I am all for working mothers, its her attitude

Bieng the child of parents who leave you with anyone because "my life and my money" is more important is not a nice thing. I feel sorry for her children.

pickyourbrain · 07/05/2011 12:38

I don't think any woman goes back to work in a feminist fight! Generally people weigh up what they think is best for them and their family. For example, in my line of work I could earna lot more in London than anywhere else in the country. But my partner t th etime lived in Yorkshire. I moved to be closer to him as I felt that DD needed her dad nearby. When we split up I chose to stay here for the same reason.

I sacrificed being near my friends and family, and earning more money. But I didnt personally feel my dd would benefit from me being at home during a working day, so I found her the very best childminder I could, and she went to her from 7.30 until 6 from 12 weeks old.

Most parents would sacrifice anything for their children, but some don't feel that sacrificing a career is something that is necessary. It's not selfish, its just a choice.

Lets face it, there is no evidence that children are worse off if their mum works. So there is no basis to judge women who have 3 children and go back to work.

Honestly, on MN you arent allowed to critacise pregnant women who are over weight or who smoke because it's their choice (even though there is evidence that it effects the baby) but youre allowed to make accusations that mum's are selfish for going back to work... (no evidence that it is bad for the children!)

pickyourbrain · 07/05/2011 12:43

My mum worked nulls she wasnt like Katie though! I am not taking away from the fact that Katie's comments and attitude are wrong. I was just putting my point of view across to those on here who are saying that she shouldnt have gone back to work when her children were young.

language like 'dumping' isn't nice for people to read when they make their choices with their children at the front of their minds.

hairylights · 07/05/2011 12:43

Why is it that some people feel its ok to go back to work if you "need to". What if you want to? Isn't that enough reason?

I disagree with any person telling others what they should do, which includes
the vitriol aimed at mothers who return to work soon after having children. Exactly what is so evil about that?

There seems to be this idea that women who have children absolutely must give up work, unless they can't afford to. That, IMHO, is misogynistic.

It's personal choice.

KittySpencer · 07/05/2011 12:44

I think KH is a bit of a bitch, who in business would trample over anyone to get what she wants.

BUT saying that she shouldn't bother to have children/left them too early/is a shit parent is making exactly the sort of judgment that she herself does about mothers who stay at home!

The point is it is all about freedom of choice.

Some women are ready to go back to work when their babies are very small (I know someone who did when their baby was 4 weeks old).

Some go back after 6/9/12 months.

Some go back when their children are in pre-school or FT school.

Some stay at home.

Of course, there isn't always a choice for everyone. Many women have to go back sooner than they might want due to financial or career pressures, but just like KH shouldn't assume 3 weeks is enough time, likewise how can anyone else say that UNLESS you take a year off or whatever you're a shit parent?

As someone who has worked since DC1 was 7 months and DC2 13 months (I would have gone back after 4-6 months both times but couldn't find a job) I am less than impressed with some of the apparent judging of working mothers on this thread.

hairylights · 07/05/2011 12:45

A woman who pays someone else, or dumps her babies on family to raise them, a mere three weeks into their lives, has absolutley no concept of how hard it is to raise a family and run a home. How could she?

Have a very big Biscuit