I am being BLACKMAILED

[bupcakesandcunting]

By some divvy on eBay

I bought a Benefit eyeliner off her for the princely sum of £4.20. Got it today and it's fake. I sent her this email:

"Hi,

I got the pencil this morning and I am really disappointed to see that it's a fake. It explains why it was so cheap but I buy Benefit a lot so I know a fake when I see it!

Can I have a refund please?"

She sent this reply:

"Hi there, I am sorry to hear you are not happy with the item, as far as my wholesaler states these are not fake but imports from USA, customer satisfaction is my priority and I would not knowingly sell fake items. As you are not happy I am willing to send a full refund once good feedback as been given. I wait for your reply.

Kind regards"

I just sent one back going "Hmmm, pretty sure that's blackmail."

Or is it bribery? I don't know. But still! Cheeky sod.

Should I leave shit feedback and sod the £4 or get therefund but lie? I am thinking of letting her keep the four quid and writing "SCRUBBY FUCK" as her feedback.

Do you think it's best if there are a few mutual inadequacies, Chickens?

Yes. You have to complement each other with your twattiness

I really am not the deep throat guru, honest

I mean I aspire to be but in actual fact I've accidently done it once (and I admit I was rather proud) and have yet to manage a repeat performance
I think the key is definitely to want to but not try to make yourself, it sort of happens once there is enough saliva/precum knocking about and you are having fun (i.e not just sucking him to be nice to him) then you will be very relaxed and maybe going at it like tongs and oops there we go, slipped past soemhting there ish

god i'm not even drunk, you lot are a BAD infuence

and I still haven't changed my name back so I look like I'm drinking sperm as often as a crisp eating fanatic

please change your name back. I am begging you.

I am not easily offended by names, but I know the taste of the first, not the second, and the very idea that this is a snack that minors eat, just repulses me.

oh god, sorry

my kids dont eat them, they hate them and I love the hot and spicy ones]

testing testing

Report the scammer and tell me where you buy your monster munch from...please :)

Genius thread!

Aha! Scissor sisters

Tell me more about these dating sites then. I could do with a quiet man, he doesn't have to talk at all actually

We are over here Dolly

we were being rude about blowjobs prince

semantics didn't come into

I guess you could instruct your man to fill teeny dishes with semen and then have a taste test

line up some things like avocado, peanut butter, anchovies

you could get him to try too

that help with your diet?

This thread has had me howling with laughter.

I swear to god bupcakes and Shirley are the funniest people on MN.

Eye AIDS and Robert Mugabe

I would report her as it is the sort of thing that would really wind me up! It may only be 4.20 but if its her business there will be a lot of 4.20s and people getting scammed.

afternoon noddy, take it you haven't read the whole thread

You are all bonkers (well apart from those who haven't read the whole thread and are just contributing to original post which is hilarious given the juxtaposition of some of the posts!) And my DH asks why I spend so much time on Mumsnet!

Oooh, get me juxtaposition!!!

Yes, think I provided one of those juxtapositions at my inability to read a whole thread before posting!

I really have no idea what is going on!

Nodders