Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

780 replies

Cat98 · 03/05/2011 13:47

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

OP posts:
glitterballmama · 03/05/2011 23:46

I didn't call you a child abuser Sickof, I said that hitting a child was an abuse of your physical power over them. Which it is.

osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

AnneWiddecombesBoulderHolder · 03/05/2011 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Swedes2 · 03/05/2011 23:49

I read your OP as MNers condoning snacking. And I was open-mouthed in shock. Most MNers would sooner flog their children a la jezebels in Jeddah, than allow them to snack between meals.

osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 23:49

To everyone

Where the f^ck did the OP get to?

glitterballmama · 03/05/2011 23:50

I'll hug you osama.

Good night, everyone!

osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 23:50

AnneWiddecombesBoulderHolder

Really? Examples please.

sickoftheholidays · 03/05/2011 23:51

OP is watching from the sidelines as the thread implodes I suspect Osama. Now, how about a large Wine and we all go off to bed. I'm sure we will all turn back into human beings in the morning.

osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 23:51

glitterballmama

G'night. John Boy.

springbokdoc · 03/05/2011 23:57

Jeez people. I go give one lousy bottle and all hell breaks loose. Why do I always miss reading the deleted messages?? I stuck with this for 20 odd pages, go away for a bit and miss it.

Right I'm going to bed so nothing more outrageous can be said until tmrw okay?

Mamaz0n · 03/05/2011 23:58

Message about Sprinbok being a twunt Deleted by Mumsnet

springbokdoc · 04/05/2011 00:10

Ah thanks :)

Although for one second thought it was real Blush and had that oh no feeling

sickoftheholidays · 04/05/2011 00:13

you've all gone to bed havent you. Bloody lightweights.

cannydoit · 04/05/2011 08:29

what the funk happened here, like really. i see my bf go to bed. come back in the morning and ww3 has exploded on mn. deleted posts and ranting everywhere. i miss all the good stuff. Grin so no minds were changed, people yelled and insulted and felt superior. good times people, pencil me in for the next one.

Mamaz0n · 04/05/2011 08:39

Canny - I actually think that there will be people who have maybe not posted who will try not to smack in future having read this thread.

And tbf these discussions always end this way.

I did try and get out with one line but got drawn back in by the madness. when will i learn

Original poster
Cat98 · 04/05/2011 08:51

Op back here :) firstly, to all you cynics.. I haven't had a chance to come back on until now. I read the thread as I didn't want to commit the sin of not reading it before posting. I promise I did not post this just to cause a fight! Not sure what else I can say on that really, just that I do think a few are being unfair when they accuse me orf that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cat98 · 04/05/2011 08:55

Sorry for typos - on phone! Anyway, back to the content of the thread. A few people have been too harsh I think, sickoftheholidays I feel sorry for you as though I don't agree with the points you made, you didn't resort to personal attacks but took a fair bit yourself. On the smacking debate though - none of the pro smackers have managed to convince me that I would or could ever consider using smacking as a form of discipline. I actually agree with mamazon's last post - that hopefully some people reading might think twice before smacking due to this thread! The nspcc info posted was interesting, as were the comments from children. I can't see how resorting to violence ever provides a positive role model which is surely our primary aim as parents?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cat98 · 04/05/2011 08:57

And each to their own - well of course it is, ultimately, does that mean we are not allowed to debate? We'd never discuss anything on mn then!

OP posts:
AngelsOnHigh · 04/05/2011 08:57

This is long so feel free to ignore it.

"Usually , parents smack children to stop them from misbehaving, and so immediate compliance is desirable.

However, while it may work in the short term, eg. in dangerous situations, it does not necessarily mean children are being successfully socialised.

One of the "undesirable outcomes" found in a US "Pediatrics" study was a decrease in moral internalisation, meaning that socially acceptable behaviour tended to be motivated by external consequences rather than internal controls.

That is, children who are smacked will behave the way their parents want more out of fear of punishment than from developing an understanding of what is appropriate.

Mumofaflump · 04/05/2011 09:04

To sum up this thread so far for the latecomers:

People who smack are evil baseball bat swinging, Jezza watching, intellectually challenged child abusers.

People who don't smack are hairy lentil weavers who enjoy carnal acivities with their fathers.

AngelsOnHigh · 04/05/2011 09:13

Smacking is just a euphemism for hitting children.

End of story.

AllDirections · 04/05/2011 09:15

MamazOn 'I actually think that there will be people who have maybe not posted who will TRY NOT TO SMACK in future having read this thread.'

This comment is sooo out of order. Do you think that parents are waiting for their children to misbehave so they can give them a smack? Of course parents try not to smack. Isn't that what the pro smackers have been saying throughout this thread?

cannydoit · 04/05/2011 09:20

and they come out swinging and here was me thinking this thread was dead.

cunexttuesonline · 04/05/2011 09:31

AllDirections - if all the smackers in this thread had said 'yes I have done it once or twice, I fucked up and will hopefully not do it again' then that is not the same as saying 'yes I do it and I think it's a perfectly fine way of disciplining children'.