To this this policeman was being really rude?

[zedfaca]

We've been having problems with our neighbours for the last nine months. They scream at the tops of their voices constantly. They woke me up in the middle of the night all the time when I was pregnant and now they're disturbing my very young baby by waking him up when he's trying to nap etc. They have woken us up or kept us awake more than 100 times. We've tried talking to them but apparently asking them not to scream right next to our bedroom is against their human rights. We've spoken to their landlord, their university and the council and no one can get through to them that they're the ones in the wrong. Luckily they won't be allowed to renew their contract and will be moving out soon.

Anyway, I'd just managed to get my baby to sleep for the night when they started doing it again and woke him up. I banged on the wall to tell them to be quiet. Then they came round and knocked on our door to tell me to stop harassing them!!! Well, I flipped out and started screaming at them to go away and telling them that they're ruining our lives and called them a pair of selfish bitches.

They went back in their house and then called the police who came round to talk to me about threatening them! We told the policeman that we'd tried everything under the sun to resolve the situation but nothing has worked.

The policeman then asked me if I had post-natal depression! It wasn't a routine question, he said it like he thought I problems. I was so offended, I didn't even know what to say. I've got no issues at all, my health visitor said that she thought I was a brilliant mum the last time she was here. I feel so upset that he would ask me that. I just think it's horrible. I mean, how many times would anyone let their baby be woken up by idiots before they got angry?

I mean, if I didn't have a baby would he think it was ok to accuse- it was an accusation the way he said it- me of being depressed?

Am I alone in thinking this is really out of order?

I think if you'd put the conversation in your first post, you'd have got a very different response. The comments that you indicated that he made to you are not, IMO, acceptable (assuming there are no other "warning flags" he picked up - I do not see that one irate rant, plus whatever stories the pack of harridans made up, equates to MH issues and struggling to take care of your son).

Have to day that I agree with those who say let it go and just be thankful the shrieking harpies will be leaving soon. Clearly nothing is going to change until they go. I would just avoid encounters with them insofar as I could, given that they apparently like shitstirring.

cant be arsed to discuss any further

You have had a time of it.
I completely support you op.
Those girls sound like a living nightmare and I don't blame you one bit on reacting the way you did.
Counting down the days until they are gone.
The police officer was a patronising one wasn't he, if he had said are you prementrual at all madame that would have inflamed me too.

You need to gather yourself together now and believe you are doing the right thing and then please post on chat next and leave AIBU for a long while.
It is good here mostly but it's like rl in a way there will always be disagreements etc.

Yes thank god they will be leaving soon. And sooner than they would by getting out the noise team and then getting a court date and eviction order etc. Anyone know when term time actually finishes?

Harridans! Now that I like! I haven't heard that word in years.

I would've put everything he said to the letter if I'd known it would cause this much trouble. I really did think it was clear but I suppose you all weren't there. He just sounded like he thought PND was typical women's hysteria which just outraged me. Having been depressed myself and knowing a few people with or who have had PND who would've been utterly devastated to hear that, it just struck a nerve. I'm miserable enough hearing someone thinks bad of me and I'm pretty cheerful and relaxed most of the time.

I know Sarah S, I feel that way myself (would cross this out too if I knew how). I really don't want any animosity!

You don't say whether you ever called the police when they were screeching and banging about at all hours but maybe that would have been my first action in your shoes.
They would have been faced with charges of breach of the peace and potentially a night in the cells if they were drunk and disorderly too.
You could still do that zedfaca if they start partying at all hours again.

I haven't called the police. I guess we could've done after they came round threatening us but I was very tired. They also came round another time when I could have called them but I didn't. They put a note through our door at 10pm to say that they were having a party so don't bother disturbing them. I put a note through their door to say we've got a newborn baby now if you don't know so please don't scream in your bedroom tonight. Then one of them came round ranting some incoherent nonsense and had to be dragged away by another man at their party who was saying, I'm so sorry I've got a baby myself but they're so drunk I don't know how much I can do. None of us got any sleep that night.

I just wanted to try and manage the situation through the university because they've been really helpful and then the landlord responded to say that they would be leaving anyway. We're just trying to sit things out. I just don't know how they can justify making out that hearing me knock on their wall is harassment when they think it's ok for us to listen to them screaming several times a week.

Ugh so sick of it all!!!

Well, they might have had a lesson in how rights come with responsibilities - to be a law abiding citizen - if the police had been called round to them early on and every time they behaved like that.
To be honest I wouldn't have bothered with landlords or university - they don't have the same authority as the police in these circumstances. A night in the cells might have sorted them out.

Yeah and now they're trying to make out like they're the better people because they finally have wound me up so badly that I lose it. And now I really can't call the police!

my reply magically vanished. i typed a big long reply and it never made it to the thread.
(and its probably a good thing as i too have given up...)

take care op and hope you get some peace when your neighbours move out.

oh ....and people dont just get arrested and put in cells to 'teach them a lesson' - thats not how it works - then we really would get complaints and probably lots more threads asking if we are unreasonable.

Eesh!

Things in brackets, hiding things, crossing things out... I'm never going to fit in around here! You guys have it pretty cosy.

Oh well, I'm off to shout random insults and observations out the window at my neighbours with my loudspeaker!!! Got a reputation to keep up you know.

Pip pip!

OP YANBU I get what you're saying and have read all your replies. We had neighbours (a house share) who partied every Saturday night. They would drink (loudly) at home until around 9pm then go out, then come back hammered at around midnight and carry on loudly until 3am-6am. Every week without fail. I used to lie there awake waiting for them to come back. I think it really did make me depressed actually and that was just one night a week. We never confronted them because they were rough, they were often having arguments and fights outside when they got back. One of them ended up beaten up so badly he had to go back and live with his parents. One moved out in disgust. Then the tenancy was up and they were gone. I think it's hard to understand the impact it can have on you if you haven't experienced it. To have it all turned around on you and implied that you were the one with the problem must have been horrible.

Take care, at least you know they are going.

If you're still her ZEDFACA then i do sympathise with your situation and wish you all the best. It's hard enough trying to get my DS to sleep at all, let alone with nightmare neighbours!
As a Police Officer and a mother with PND all I can say is that the officers question was not unreasonable at all, however, as none of us were there we cannot judge on his tone of questioning, and he may well have been insensitive, but maybe only due to lack of knowledge (whilst police do receive training in all sorts of issues, we can't be experts in all areas) and as a male he may never have had any experience of PND and have felt pretty uncomfortable with asking/talking about it, hence the way it came out?
I hope your next neighbours are much nicer and things work out well for you.
And as for tea and biscuits.... Yes please!

VicarInATuTu - If you are still there?

I didn't mean sticking them in a cell to teach them a lesson - I meant that if they were charged with breach of the peace/drunk and disorderly or whatever then they may have spent a night in the cells and then learned a lesson about responsibilities and consequences of actions. If that makes sense?
Sorry if my post was unclear - I'm know the police can't just stck people in the cells to teach them a lesson and there has to be a charge etc..

I'll get me coat ..................

Yes I'm still here! I confess I made up that bit about a loudspeaker. If only!!

I know what you meant about locking people up. Not literally but maybe if the police had seen them when they wanted a fight with me when I was pregnant, they might have been able to nip things in the bud. It's a mine field trying to get your point across isn't it? I think that lady might have hidden me. Is that like it is on Facebook? I think there was some anti/pro police stuff along the way that really annoyed her. Or maybe it's me. I don't even know any more!

Just another thought- is everyone who replied to this thread in the police?? There's an awful lot of you!

If it makes you all feel better, I have decided (after reading all this) to give him the benefit of the doubt that he was trying to be nice and just ended up saying things the wrong way. I think if anyone looks at what he actually said though, you'll agree he could've worded it better. After I said it wasn't a very nice thing to say he sort of babbled on a bit about getting help from relatives and then left pretty quickly.