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AIBU?

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Original poster

I'm siding with the neighbours and going against DH (Cats)

209 replies

CoveredInPaint · 02/05/2011 16:12

three years ago dh secretely agreed to let dsd have a cat. He knew I didn't like them but god forbid his dd get told no so she bought this kitten, hid it in her room for 3 days and when I eventually found out about it (heard it scratching the door and thought we had mice!) I told DH she had to get rid. I was made out to be the wicked step mother, was told I couldn't possibly make her get rid of her new pet as she would be heart broken etc etc and in the end I just gave up but it caused me a hell of a lot of upset as I REALLY did not want a cat in the house and it upset me the way my feeling just pushed aside as usual.
So anyway we've had the cat 3 years and it annoys me so much. It has wrecked the living carpet scratching at it, clawed a brand new sofa on the day I bought it. Has shit in the house on a number of occassions, has scratched doors, dug up my flowers, killed birds/frogs/mice in the garden. One time it was "playing" with a baby robin in the garden and DSD was stood there saying "yeah! good girl! you're so clever!" ffs the baby bird must have been in agony.

So anyway 2 weeks ago the cat came home with paint all over its feet. Somewhat confused but just assumed it had been somewhere it shouldn't have been (again). A couple of days later it came home with a note stuck to its collar in cellotape saying "I would appreciate it if you could keep an eye on your cat as it has recently ruined paint work, dug up my wifes flowers (which she spend hours planting) and entered our house where my 3 month old daughter was sleeping. Thank You. Your neighbour".

I showed the note to DH and he said the neighbour was a "stupid twat" and what could he be expected to do about the cat. I was infuriated because IMO you don't just buy a pet and then say "fuck everyone else". We argued over it. I said I agreed with the neighbour and he said "you would, you would agree with anyone over me". Hmm

This morning 2 different neighbours came to the door (obv decided to team up on it) and had a go at me about children finding cat shit in the gardens and a child's tend being clawed and ruined (our cat was actually seen doing it apparantly and in return had water chucked all over it). They said our cat was basically being a pain in the arse and if we didn't do something about it they would report us to the landlord.

I told them I agreed 100% with them, apologised and said I would be re-homing the cat asap.

Just text DH and he's gone off on one saying I'm out of order and the cat will be left alone "or else".

AIBU to insist on the cat rehoming?

OP posts:
ThatVikRinA22 · 02/05/2011 22:31

thats fine....that dog that persistantly shites in my garden has its days numbered then....

NickRobinsonsloveslave · 02/05/2011 22:32

I am just saying that if I have mice then I am well within my rights to try to get rid of them.
And actually, they are not there because 'we' are dirty, it is because our property adjoines neighbours (steptoes yard) property and 'that is where they are coming from.....their neighbours on the other side have also complained.

ThatVikRinA22 · 02/05/2011 22:33

ive got mice too,

but my cat deals with those. the dog that shits in my garden on the other hand....

ThatVikRinA22 · 02/05/2011 22:34

i take it im entitled to poison the dog by the same token?

NulliusInVerba · 02/05/2011 22:34

And no you dont have the right to put down mice poison when you very clearly hoped it would poison the cat - re read your post, then stop taking us for idiots. Do you think we all fell out a pram yesterday?

The only Rambo cats I know are Bengals, if the OP returns, maybe she can clarify if ASBO cat is infact a bengal?
Doubt she will be back though.......

catchmeifyoucan · 02/05/2011 22:35

I've got a family of field mice in my little shed. I love them to bits and always put a bit of seed out for them! And that's why any cat I see in my garden gets the hose at full throttle!

NulliusInVerba · 02/05/2011 22:35

Well then Nick, by your reasoning, you are "well within your rights" to send step toe and family a nice apple pie with arsnic in, yes?

LostInSockLand · 02/05/2011 22:37

has anyone ever had to sit and watch their pet die in agony through being poisoned? It isn't a pretty sight. I've had two cats go that way.

edam · 02/05/2011 22:37

Nick, you haven't admitted whether you killed the poor cat. And whatever you think, you acted cruelly and illegally. You do not have the right to poison animals. You could have TOLD the neighbours you were putting poison down so they could keep their cats in. You chose not to. You are a nasty piece of work who deserves to be prosecuted for cruelty to animals.

razzlebathbone · 02/05/2011 22:39

What?! If you hate any animal you are mentally damaged? Jesus. You have to like them all? Could the depth/breadth of the mental damage spectrum be elaborated upon? And who did the damage? I think we have a right to know.

NulliusInVerba · 02/05/2011 22:40

I'll second that edam - they clearly think we are all idiots and are trying to back out of their sick statements aswell now...

NickRobinsonsloveslave · 02/05/2011 22:40

Well if you're all going to be stupid about this, fine.
I have stated, quite clearly that I put down mice poison to kill the mice. If neighbour's cat gets sick because it has been on my property...that's just tough. They should maybe look after their cat better. The pets that live in my neighbourhood are not my responsibility, just like their DCs are not my responsibility.

NulliusInVerba · 02/05/2011 22:43

razzle it is well documented in psychology and psychiatry that people who hate animals in general, have no compassion for them, or even hurt them, are often sociopaths.

Many people convicted of heinous crimes have a history of animal abuse.

I was not saying you have to be Dr Dolittle to be normal. You can dislike a certain animal, just not all of them - or more importantly hurt them.

ThatVikRinA22 · 02/05/2011 22:43

no razzle - you can hate anything and anybody you like, but if you deliberately set out to kill your neighbours pets you are open to prosecution.

and probably a bit of tit for tat thrown in for good measure. thats usually how it goes.

i know of a case where someone had set his dog on a neighbours cat and killed it. this was investigated by police.

NickRobinsonsloveslave · 02/05/2011 22:43

LostinSockLand, you say you had to watch your pets die painfully. Why did you just not monitor them better.
You can't have pets and let them go out and do whatever they want....is thast how you parent your children?

ChristinedePizan · 02/05/2011 22:44

So basically people shouldn't have cats should they Nick?

Mspontipine · 02/05/2011 22:45

Nick - you stated you'd already noticed your neighbour's cat spent a large amount of time in your garden - a decent person would have warned the neighbour they were laying down poison to avoid any incidents like this - but you're positively rubbing your hands in glee about an ill cat - sick.

dreamofwhitehorses · 02/05/2011 22:45

As a cat owner and member of the RSPB, I can definitely see both sides of this. I think it was completely out of order to introduce an animal into your home against your express wishes but unfortunately I don't believe you have any choice about keeping it now. I don't think you would ever be forgiven if you got rid of it, and your relationship with your dsd would never get past that.

You are going to have to accept the cat as part of your household, as a sentient creature, and work to try to form some sort of relationship with it, where you don't resent it.
As far as your neigbours, google rspb, cats for helpful info about keeping them out of gardens, and cat proofing your own.
I think its really unfair you've been put in this situation, but I think your stuck with it now.

NulliusInVerba · 02/05/2011 22:46

Plus the cat would have caught the mice for you, remember they are evil torturing murderers according to some (probably not vegetarian) people.

bubblecoral · 02/05/2011 22:47

Why are all you cat freaks having a go at Nick just for trying to rid her property of a mouse infestation?

Unbelievable! Shock

I don't see how you come to the conclusion from her first post that she was deliberately trying to kill someones pet. I really don't. I think it's disgusting that you think that because you choose to own an animal, then choose to allow it onto other peoples property, you have the right to modify how other peopel deal with things on their own property.

And Vicar, no, you don't have the right to deliberately poison a dog. But you do have a right to leave poison on your own property to kill vermin. There is a glaringly obvious difference.

LostInSockLand · 02/05/2011 22:49

Nick you have crossed a line there. Do not bring my children into this. No need. My children are supervised and absolutely fine thankyou. Bit below the belt imo.

ChristinedePizan · 02/05/2011 22:49

So you also think people shouldn't have cats bubblecoral? Because you know it's pretty much impossible to stop cats going into other people's gardens. Nick could have warned the neighbours but chose not to.

Mspontipine · 02/05/2011 22:49

As for "He needs to teach the cat to behave" - whoever said that

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

ThatVikRinA22 · 02/05/2011 22:50

oh so thats the difference

i can poison the dog but say it was to kill the mice....i see now. thanks for that top tip. doggie has his days numbered then....

then i might use the same rationale on the rogue children in the street that keep me awake when i work nights....

thanks nick.

NulliusInVerba · 02/05/2011 22:50

LostInSockLand dont even credit that with a response, cannot believe that comment made towards you - totally uncalled for and out of order :(

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