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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that someone who cancels a date on Bank Holiday Saturday is a bastard? Should I be wary or keep trying??

177 replies

Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 19:01

Short story is met guy in pub, we got on really well and I was really thinking there could be something to it - or at least we would have a good date - his friend said ask him to take you for dinner - I said, 'wow, would love to' he looked a bit shocked but passed his card over. even writing his number on again to be sure.

I texted after pub and asked direct, he said 'that would be lovely' we agreed a time and date and then on day I texted to say 'table booked, would you like to meet for a drink first' then got a text back saying 'oh something came up' I sent back a text saying :) I thought at least you'd do better than that (excuse), least you told me early enough...

Then I got a weird text saying 'sorry, I don't know who this is' is that weird or what! Its obviously it is a blow-off, but why say 'lovely' to dinner straight away and complement on choice of restaurant etc? All this happened since wednesday.

What annoyed me is a) I haven't had a date with a really lovely guy for a long time - attractive guys yes, intelligent guys yes, but none with both that I actually felt like there could be a connection with. and b) I gave up a bank holiday saturday for this date and was left miserable :(

I do think that its a shame because it its not like we had a bad date or anything he has decided to finish it before we even know if anything might start or whatever.

He did say he was divorced but is that really a reason for being like this?

OP posts:
Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 20:39

Is this really desperate ? Do all the other posters have dating histories in which men chase and beg them for dates ? Well I don't. You have my total sympathy OP. That's rubbish. But, don't follow up.

Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 20:41

WSB the OP didn't mention marriage. Why did you ? She was just after a date. He said he was interested then backed out. Completely normal to wonder why

saffy85 · 01/05/2011 20:43

Having read the whole thread I now have a stitch from howling with laughter Grin

OP, bless you if you are for real you need professional help and please, if you haven't already, delete the guy's number. He really isn't into you anymore, if he was at all. Fabby's suggestion makes sense, either that or he is actually coupled up and he's covering his tracks/his missus has text you warning you off.

His mate sounds like he might have been winding you up. DP and his mates used to do this sort of stuff. Infact, I once spent an hour on the phone to one poor girl who had rang up DP's single mate to arrange a date with him, letting her down as nicely as possible because a wind up had gone a little bit wrong and they were all too chicken and slightly terrified to deal with her themselves. She was persistant like yourself, and I ended up yelling at her in sheer frustration. Blush

saffy85 · 01/05/2011 20:46

Very normal to wonder why. But for the sake of your own sanity sometimes it's best to delte the messaes and the numbers and move the fuck on because you'll never find out for sure. Been there, done that, deleted all evidence of their existance otherwise I may have gone Glenn Close on them myself. It's about retaining selfrespect.

sausagesandmarmelade · 01/05/2011 20:51

Very well put Bubble...I agree with you.

As for the OP...I would put it down to experience. If he'd been interested I think he would have asked you out himself...

sausagesandmarmelade · 01/05/2011 20:52

Agree also....delete his number and forget about him.

Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 20:53

I'd love to go Glenn Close on his ass Grin actually part of me wants to do it to wind HIM up :) Do you think I should look him up on facebook and send a really soppy friend request to him and one to some of his friends telling them that we will get around and introduce ourselves as a couple to them soon, we just have so much relationship building to do right now before the babies... Grin

OP posts:
Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 20:55

ok now you have lost my sympathy. Either you are one of those characters that lives under a bridge or you have had way too much fortified grape juice

Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 20:58

Confused when is having a sense of humour an indication of being wasted out of your brain?? That's odd.

OP posts:
Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 20:58

Delete his number and texts. Go to bed with a large glass of water and when you wake up in the morning erase it all from your head.

Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 20:59

I missed the funny bits. Which ones were they ?

WolfShapedBullet · 01/05/2011 21:00

FS because she's completely over the top after talking to somebody in a pub for an hour perhaps? Projecting waaaay to much on one meeting. Yes maybe not marriage but still, OTT.
Why so defensive?

happyinherts · 01/05/2011 21:01

Lost sympathy a while back....

Most posters on here actually read the advice / comments of members and take them on board and come to some kind of conclusion. The OP has done no such thing. She has continued and continued to push this, introducing crazier scenarios, ie, the facebook thing. I'm surprised she even knows his name.

Her last sentence in original question is "Should I be wary or keep trying." She had no intention of listening to the sensible answers given, but keeps on and on about a situation that was never going anywhere. Either she needs professional mental help or sees this as a fun way to spend the Sunday evening before a Bank Holiday.

I'm leaving this thread. Waste of space

WolfShapedBullet · 01/05/2011 21:02

X posted there FS, see you are having doubts as to the validity of the op now too.

Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 21:02

Yup. I think the OP should go to bed now.

Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 21:05

AIBU= Am I being unreasonable ?
Answer:

  1. Not unreasonable to be annoyed and upset at the man
  2. Unreasonable to pursue him

That's it really.

Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 21:06

Question tho:1. Don't all of you get excited when you meet someone you really like who agrees to meet you again?

  1. Would you ever text 'sorry I don't know who you are' to someone you have previously been chatting, flirting to and agreed to meet?
  2. would you not be confused and upset by that and want to work out if it were deliberate or could it be a mistake before progressing?
OP posts:
Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 21:09

btw not going to bed, going to go to the bar near me that plays rock music and death metal - I feel like just doing that and not caring. Sorry this is at odds with what you guys might do I am just pissed off. Also just did get the rules out of the loft - looks worringly like I was following the man's role in the rules! I asked for a saturday date on wed.. mind you so, sort of did he! Perhaps he has read it and freaked Grin

OP posts:
Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 21:09

It is deliberate. That's all there is to say. Go to bed now.

Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 21:11

Oh and silentlyspring, thanks I guess I just wanted to talk out my fears before soming to that conclusion.. thanks.. off to be 'a creature like no other' but not quite in the way The Rules means! :)

OP posts:
saffy85 · 01/05/2011 21:12

"1. Don't all of you get excited when you meet someone you really like who agrees to meet you again?

  1. Would you ever text 'sorry I don't know who you are' to someone you have previously been chatting, flirting to and agreed to meet?
  2. would you not be confused and upset by that and want to work out if it were deliberate or could it be a mistake before progressing?"
  1. Yes ofcourse.
  2. Yes I've done this a few times when I realised I've made a huge mistake.
  3. Yes would (and have been) confused and upset by someone doing that but pride would stop me contacting them again.
Dozer · 01/05/2011 21:13

Mad thread.....Lol

Southcoastsarah · 01/05/2011 21:15

havent read any of the thread but from OP, you sound desperate

MooMooFarm · 01/05/2011 21:17

Well have a good night OP but try not to fall in love with anyone while you're there Grin.

Seriously - you are over thinking. It really is this simple - a man meets you and fancies you enough to want to see you again - he asks you out and then turns up on the date. Honestly, that's it.

Anyone who doesn't do that is not worth worrying about. Delete any such numbers and don't waste your brain space analysing these people!

CatPower · 01/05/2011 21:21

Who's expecting a follow-up thread tomorrow night saying "I met this amaaaazing pierced and tattooed guy at the rock club, we talked death metal all night, then his mate said I should ask him out, so I did and we've texted all day but now he's ignoring me... was the talk about naming our babies after Sisters of Mercy songs too much...?!?!"

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