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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that someone who cancels a date on Bank Holiday Saturday is a bastard? Should I be wary or keep trying??

177 replies

Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 19:01

Short story is met guy in pub, we got on really well and I was really thinking there could be something to it - or at least we would have a good date - his friend said ask him to take you for dinner - I said, 'wow, would love to' he looked a bit shocked but passed his card over. even writing his number on again to be sure.

I texted after pub and asked direct, he said 'that would be lovely' we agreed a time and date and then on day I texted to say 'table booked, would you like to meet for a drink first' then got a text back saying 'oh something came up' I sent back a text saying :) I thought at least you'd do better than that (excuse), least you told me early enough...

Then I got a weird text saying 'sorry, I don't know who this is' is that weird or what! Its obviously it is a blow-off, but why say 'lovely' to dinner straight away and complement on choice of restaurant etc? All this happened since wednesday.

What annoyed me is a) I haven't had a date with a really lovely guy for a long time - attractive guys yes, intelligent guys yes, but none with both that I actually felt like there could be a connection with. and b) I gave up a bank holiday saturday for this date and was left miserable :(

I do think that its a shame because it its not like we had a bad date or anything he has decided to finish it before we even know if anything might start or whatever.

He did say he was divorced but is that really a reason for being like this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 20:04

thanks will file in the (thankfully thin) 'actually stood up not just fizzled out' file. I think I should raise my game tho' if I was kind of expecting a shock, then actiually |I can see how a clean nasty put-down is more efficient. Perhaps I should just up the game and expect this with men who get more attention - it could be that he usually gets attention from really crap field players and is used to giving the brush off.

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 01/05/2011 20:06

loop fruit
pot cracked
help needs
maniac egotistical

Blokes makes lucky escape

Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 20:07

ACtually I do remember one guy who phoned me when I stood him up (by accident I really didn't want to we just had after work drinks and I was too tired to meet) and he phoned and said 'I can't beilieve you did that' and I thought 'ooh wow he was really bothered.. most blokes pretend they aren't ' and we had a great few months after than (until he got a job in Australia)

OP posts:
WolfShapedBullet · 01/05/2011 20:08

You deserve at least 5/10 for the Glenn Close pictures you are planting in my head, best get on with that holiday homework now though eh?

MollieO · 01/05/2011 20:08

It wasn't a nasty put down at all.

Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 20:08

I'm 29 you cheeky minx!

OP posts:
Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 20:08

This thread started off sort of normal then deteriorated drastically. Have you been at the bottle OP ?

bubblecoral · 01/05/2011 20:09

Do you mean until he escaped to Australia to save his life?

allgonebellyup · 01/05/2011 20:10

i hope. That you. Are VERY VERY drunk.

DontGoCurly · 01/05/2011 20:10

heheh

cookielove · 01/05/2011 20:10

I really wanna shout the word i know you all are thinking begins with T ends with roll

allgonebellyup · 01/05/2011 20:11

Shame it's a troll. I was quite enjoying this.

HellNoSayItAintSo · 01/05/2011 20:11

Some of the posters on this thread have stepped straight out of the 50's. Women shouldn't ask men out? Whoever asks has to pay for dinner? Shock You're bonkers!

allgonebellyup · 01/05/2011 20:12

And i do have to agree with all the bloody old fashioned sexist comments! Why on earth can't women ask men out??

flippinada · 01/05/2011 20:13

It is the same poster.

allgonebellyup · 01/05/2011 20:13

i meant disagree Blush

happyinherts · 01/05/2011 20:13

Its not a question of women shouldnt ask men out.

The whole thread is about someone who cah't see the wood for the trees and is totally deluded. Male in question did not want to know - female acting like a bunny boiler or a complete tart.

Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 20:14

Grin no, but two exes learnt kickboxing after going out with me and a surprising number went to Australia (but they were Australians...) I am living in a town now where there are loads of women and few guys and a lot of those women are pretty brutish and rough.

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 01/05/2011 20:14

i agree with the bunny boiler part.
But why a tart? Because she has plans in her mind to sleep with him?

happyinherts · 01/05/2011 20:16

Foregoing dignity and self-respect and wishing to spend 2 days in bed with a total stranger is rather tarty behaviour, do you not think.

FabbyChic · 01/05/2011 20:16

You are coming across as something of a psycho bitch.

He bailed at the last hurdle, get over it, delete his number and move on.

Finallyspring · 01/05/2011 20:17

Are you living in a Chinese mining town OP ?

expatinscotland · 01/05/2011 20:17

you need professional help.

manticlimactic · 01/05/2011 20:18

UNHINGED UNHINGED UNHINGED

Original poster
Missingfriendsandsad · 01/05/2011 20:18

I am NOT a troll I was really feeling bad when I started this - I do feel a bit better now and more light hearted and I AM seeing the funny side of being so worried and upset I think you are all being unreasonable - it is painful to get a text from someone saying 'sorry do I know you' after being really nice especially after you were into them - it was more hurtful because I got it this morning in bed. At home. when I felt vulnerable if he had said that in the bar or whatever I would have been prepared - I was completely vulnearable when I heard it and it haunted me a bit - stoip being so bloody nasty when I am trying to bounce back - I was getting there but now I'm fed up with you all.

OP posts: