To think that someone who cancels a date on Bank Holiday Saturday is a bastard? Should I be wary or keep trying??

[Missingfriendsandsad]

Short story is met guy in pub, we got on really well and I was really thinking there could be something to it - or at least we would have a good date - his friend said ask him to take you for dinner - I said, 'wow, would love to' he looked a bit shocked but passed his card over. even writing his number on again to be sure.

I texted after pub and asked direct, he said 'that would be lovely' we agreed a time and date and then on day I texted to say 'table booked, would you like to meet for a drink first' then got a text back saying 'oh something came up' I sent back a text saying :) I thought at least you'd do better than that (excuse), least you told me early enough...

Then I got a weird text saying 'sorry, I don't know who this is' is that weird or what! Its obviously it is a blow-off, but why say 'lovely' to dinner straight away and complement on choice of restaurant etc? All this happened since wednesday.

What annoyed me is a) I haven't had a date with a really lovely guy for a long time - attractive guys yes, intelligent guys yes, but none with both that I actually felt like there could be a connection with. and b) I gave up a bank holiday saturday for this date and was left miserable :(

I do think that its a shame because it its not like we had a bad date or anything he has decided to finish it before we even know if anything might start or whatever.

He did say he was divorced but is that really a reason for being like this?

I doubt very much that he is actually single.

He is not worth a second of your thoughts - and don't under any circs call him/contact him again.

and if he does contact you again, if I were you I'd say I was busy :)

I'd say he felt pressurised by you and his friend and what seemed like a really good idea in the pub looked a quite different proposition in the cold light of day.

Move on.

I'm not really clear, his friend told you to ask the bloke to ask you to dinner?

Then the bloke looked a bit shocked, then you texted after the pub asking him to dinner and he said 'it'd be 'lovely'.

It sounds to me like he was embarassed into giving you his number by his friend. He mustn't have really been into it. He must have just agreed out of embarassment or pressure and then pulled out by text later.

It's funny you didn't pick up on his reluctance when he looked shocked. Didn't you think that was a bad sign? And also he didn't actually ask you out his friend asked you to ask him out, so he didn't do any asking.

Also for someone you had only met you had really jumped ahead of yourself talking about 'a connection' and
I do think that its a shame because it its not like we had a bad date or anything he has decided to finish it before we even know if anything might start or whatever.

Er....finish what? There was nothing only he accepted your invitation to a date and then pulled out.
You invested waaaaaay too much thought into someone you only met once. And he can't seem to remember you?

Maybe you came accross too pushy and serious. A date is just a date, not an audition for the part of 'man in your life'

Drop him like a stone.

Ee's not worf it.

Oh I don't think he looked wtf shocked more like 'don't embarrass me I was getting to that' shocked.

I know but most people, especially guys, do quite like me even the ones where there doesn't seem to be a likelihood of a connection do usually end up having quite a good freindship - its a bit odd for someone to be like this with me unless we are poles apart and just having like a busstop conversation.

I think you're reading to much into it. Delete his number and move on.

Is that wishful thinking though OP?

His actions don't show that he was interested. Don't make the mistakes of filling in the blanks. Look it was a false start. You'll have loads of them.

Don't obsess over it. It means nothing. He was just being polite by the sounds of things.

But if you think there is no chance, do you think I should phone up and let him know how bad he was to do that on bank holiday? I had half-planned a trip to see a friend to go on that date. It was awful last night :(

What does the fact it's a bank holiday got to do with anything?

I was on my own on BH sunday. I had the meal myself when all the couples and families were there :( (no I didn't! But I did wonder whether to do that just to wallow :( )

No. Do not ring him up. He will think you are a desperate bunny boiler.

Back away from the phone OP.

Omg please op, don't phone him. Trust us. Just don't. P,ease please delete hs number right now so you are not tempted !

Well, what's the point of that. You only show yourself up to look desperately clingly and needy. He was never interested in the first place. Granted he should have said so instead of arrange date, but if you ring him you'll only reinforce his idea that he did well not to meet you. Forget it.

because of perhaps two days in bed :) Ok ok perhaps I was being too naughty.. but I did fancy him in a diffferent way to just sex-sex, I really wanted to be with him talking all night... which only happens to me once every..five or six years or so...

If it really matters then text him and ask. However be prepared for a 'stop bothering me' response.

To do anything other than chalk it down to experience and move on makes you a bunny boiler imho and i am sure he will just think 'thank goodness I didn't get stuck with that one' if you ring him to tell him he was a b*stard for not coming on your date.

You met him in the pub so even if he was being friendly and seemed to be into you then he might have been a bit p*ssed and regretted it the next day. Or he may not be single. Or anything really.

Have some self respect and JUST LET IT GO Or he will think you are a mad bunny boiler.

Oh for the love of god, get over it. Whether it was a bank holiday or not, the fact of the matter is he didn't feel any "connection", sparks didn't fly, suck it up and move on. Do you have any idea how arrogant you sound when you say things like -

"I know but most people, especially guys, do quite like me even the ones where there doesn't seem to be a likelihood of a connection do usually end up having quite a good freindship - its a bit odd for someone to be like this with me unless we are poles apart and just having like a busstop conversation."

Newsflash - not all men like the same type of woman.

He just wasn't into you. Have some self-respect, delete his number and get over it.

HA!

Ring him up and inform him that it was bad form on a BHW?

WHAT? ARE YOU OK?

what difference does it make if he bails on a date on a bank holiday, or any other day?

BUT - Saturdays are not bank holidays.

Good lord.

Good god woman let it go, he sounded like he was pressured into to it when his friend said about the date, and probably didn't want to make you feel like a knob by saying 'errr no I don't want date actually'...
And what difference does it make if its a bank holiday? Am I missing something? Is it worse to get dumped on a bank holiday weekend?

Ok I see the point.. I still think its weird though, the progression was not really normal... perhaps they were on a similar night to what some of my awful friends do - trying to act interested just to talk about and bitch about the men they draw in. Do men do that? Really?