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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or are UP parents really nuts?

684 replies

FunnysInTheGarden · 30/04/2011 22:33

I mean talk about making all your lives difficult....

Am ready BTW for the UP parents cries of dissent [cgrin]

OP posts:
MollieO · 30/04/2011 22:41

What are 'up' parents?

Valpollicella · 30/04/2011 22:45

Unconditional Parenting?

thefirstMrsDeVere · 30/04/2011 22:45

I am very confused

thisisyesterday · 30/04/2011 22:46

well... have you tried it?

my life has been a lot less difficult since I read unconditional parenting! we've all been much happier

each to their own i say. i may be nuts, but not for the way i parent my children

MollieO · 30/04/2011 22:47

What is it?

hairylights · 30/04/2011 22:47

No, I was reading that earlier, it's common sense really, it's about being respectful to your children, achieving their respect and picking your fights only if you really need to. Seems like a really rational parenting tool to me. Read a bit of stuff around it when teenage dad was hitting the difficult stage and it reLly helped our relationship.

Yabu.

HRHShoesytwoesy · 30/04/2011 22:48

WTF Is UP parenting?

hairylights · 30/04/2011 22:48

Not teenage dad, but teenage dsd Confused

Cat98 · 30/04/2011 22:48

In what way, OP? Please elaborate. And btw - raising a member of society won't be a walk in the park, surely you usually get out what you put in?

baskingseals · 30/04/2011 22:53

how does it make bringing up children more difficult?

blindmelon · 30/04/2011 22:54

Never heard of it til I came on mumsnet. There is a v long thread in Parenting, It seems admirable and interesting to read a different perspective but I couldn't give up the naughty step for love nor money so it's def not for me!

But YABU as we all have our own way of doing things and it seems to work for some people.

blindmelon · 30/04/2011 22:54

Never heard of it til I came on mumsnet. There is a v long thread in Parenting, It seems admirable and interesting to read a different perspective but I couldn't give up the naughty step for love nor money so it's def not for me!

But YABU as we all have our own way of doing things and it seems to work for some people.

HRHShoesytwoesy · 30/04/2011 22:55

what si it please

lecce · 30/04/2011 22:57

It has made my life far easier since I began it. Why do you believe it makes life more difficult?

thisisyesterday · 30/04/2011 22:57

Unconditional Parenting

Cat98 · 30/04/2011 22:58

Alfie kohn wrote a book on it. It is basically a parenting philosophy, to simplify it you try not to use punishments or rewards. It is about showing your children you love them unconditionally, not depending on their behaviour. Makes much more sense when you read the book!

BertieBotts · 30/04/2011 22:58

YABU for not giving a proper argument in the OP. I do UP and don't see that it makes my life difficult, otherwise why would I do it? Confused

It's hard to explain. Probably why there are so many misconceptions though.

thisisyesterday · 30/04/2011 22:59

i find that a lot of people who have no idea what UP really involves think it must be very difficult!
i have no problem debating with someone who actually has tried it or has more than a basic knowledge of it... but it's pretty tiresome when people are just trying to get a rise out of others

blindmelon · 30/04/2011 22:59

I think the general gist is no rewards or punishment, if kids are naughty you just talk about things. That may be a bit simplistic, not read the book!

Sorry for double post stupid blaxckberry grr

blindmelon · 30/04/2011 22:59

I think the general gist is no rewards or punishment, if kids are naughty you just talk about things. That may be a bit simplistic, not read the book!

Sorry for double post stupid blaxckberry grr

HRHShoesytwoesy · 30/04/2011 22:59

sorry I thought someone could tell me what it meant, that link is not very clear.

BertieBotts · 30/04/2011 23:00

Although to be fair OP I am often described as being a bit nuts so maybe you have a point Grin

HRHShoesytwoesy · 30/04/2011 23:00

blindmelon thanks, sorry x posted with you, tbh sounds like crap to me.

BertieBotts · 30/04/2011 23:00

Sort of blindmelon, lots more than talking though. You can't "just talk" on some issues.

squeakytoy · 30/04/2011 23:03

what a load of utter tosh.. children need rules and discipline

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