to get an autistic man stopped by police

[dimaggio]

I feel a little guilty after an occurrence yesterday in the station waiting for a train home. Story cut short I saw a youngish man (20s probably) appearing to show too much interest in children hanging around (this being about 4pm when kids are going home from school), frequently looking or staring at children, or standing very close to people, that?s how it looked to me anyway. I asked one of the British Transport police to keep an eye on him, and they duly followed him before pulling him over after stopping at a leaflet rack for a look where there happened to be other children. He looked totally flustered but looked to be attempting to answer questions politely. When police came back to me they said they eventually found an autism alert card which went some way to explaining his unusual social behaviour, and confusion/uncommunicativeness. Apparently they took his details but only advised him to be careful looking at or standing close to people in a public place. (no arrest, search or charge)

I feel quite bad now as from the little I know about Autism/Aspergers people are very likely to be misunderstood (eg certain colours people are wearing, spacial awareness, how actions are perceived even if they have no bad intent). I put this gentleman in a frightening position being approached by two authority figures who were not exactly easy on him when he was probably just going for his train home. Then again, is this better than letting a genuine offender escape notice and do something? Catch 22 to me.

I have also said that the op should contact the police if something in the mans manner concerned her.

What I have said though is that a person staring or seeming odd is not, of itself, a matter that needs to be investigated.

Of course it is possible that a person with asd could be a pedophile. However the ability to easily access children usually arises from being friendly and approachable and 'normal'. Your average, friendly male with any access to children, even through their relatives and childrens friends, constitutes a far greater risk.
A staring, awkward, unusual odd bloke quite clearly attracts a lot of attention. What exactly is the threat he constitutes? Would he be a threat because he might be big enough to pick up a child and run from a busy train station unencumbered?
A discreet friendly guy may be able to talk to a child and appear safe enough to extract one. But reporting a bloke who seems too friendly would be stupid right?

That is why this thread is frustrating. Because it shows that we are learning to misunderstand where the real risk to our children lies.

I am very glad I have experience enough to teach my child " just move away sweetie - I think that man has some sn, but come over here if you are dealing awkward" and " even if xxx's daddy turns up and says I asked him to collect you, you don't go. You only go with the people I say you can go with."

Just as an aside to that Pag, our children on the spectrum are much more at risk from paedophiles and bullying than NT children.
Mine never developed an understanding of stranger danger, or that people can be nice to you in order to manipulate or mock or use you as entertainment.

God help him if he falls for a girl who plays mind games and emotional manipulations, he'll be confused to the max.
No, in fact God help her.

Very true Goblin.
And ds2 cannot speak to articulate fear or pain so I would never know. He is a perfect victim

Difficult subject...
I have 3 great adult friends with Aspergers, lovely people who are a pleasure to know.
My only other experience of somebody in the Autistic spectrum was really quite shocking.
DP and I were in Tesco with DSD who was 3 1/2 at the time. DSD was travelling in one of the these childs shopping trolleys...
Kiddie Shopping Car Trolley
...the type of trolley where the child pretends to driving a car at the front of the shopping trolley.
We had just paid at the checkout and where walking towards the exit. We saw a young man who looked agitated and was looking oddly at DSD. Quick as flash he lunged forward and aimed a kick at DSD's head. He missed her head and kicked her hard in the shoulder. DSD wailed. DP picked her up. Two "carers" who were near the young man got hold of him, who remained very agitated.
We were absolutely shocked. It turned out the young man was autistic and on trip out to a supermarket. The "carers" were near useless and apathetic, they were employed by a company sub contracted by the council.
DSD was shocked and bruised, she had been very lucky indeed that she had not been kicked in the head.
These days I would be very weary of anyone looked at children in and odd agitated way. I have no idea about the overall incidence of violent behaviour in autistic people but given our experience we are aware of what can occasionally happen.
I think the OP was not being unreasonable for playing it safe.

appearing to show too much interest in children How much is too much? Some people like children so much they adopt one.

standing very close to people That was reason to have him arrested right there!

stopping at a leaflet rack for a look where there happened to be other children Wow! that's disgusting! How could he!

they took his details but only advised him to be careful looking at or standing close to people in a public place Really? They actually said that and this was in the UK and not Iran or Russia?

"I feel quite bad now" So you should. If you see someone doing something illegal you should report it, but reporting people because you just don't like the look of them is not on.

"Of course it is possible that a person with asd could be a paedophile. However the ability to easily access children usually arises from being friendly and approachable and 'normal'. Your average, friendly male with any access to children, even through their relatives and childrens friends, constitutes a far greater risk."

This.

I met one of the most prolific paedophiles ever prosecuted in this country. Several times. 'What a nice bloke' I thought to myself. All my colleagues thought just the same. Then he was arrested and the awful reality of what he had been up to came out.

Met another one too, who is also ended up in prison. Mended our central heating, and his wife was our cleaner. Pleasant enough bloke it seemed.

Looking at children or standing too near people isnt how they operate. Suspect life for the police would be so much easier if it was. Poor chap.

Didn't want to comment further but to dispel the myth it was mostly teenagers, the one that really set me off was eyeing up a young girl who looked about 6, in her school uniform with an adult obviously. He effectively doubled back on himself to look, looked closely, walked the other way and again stared closely. Just before I saw him in a shop in a queue in front of two older schoolgirls standing so close he was practically touching one.

His ASD may explain this behaviour to some extent (maybe he likes children in an innocent way), but I can't have known. Don't be too hard on us, we are only doing our duty. It's then up to police to handle things appropriately.

I think this thread needs removed now. The OP has just had another pulled becaause he/she was asking too many questions about girls skirts.

I am reporting this now.

I don't think this thread has anything offensive in it, and some interesting points were made. There's no reason to remove it.

First post setting the bar as a bit of a paedo-hunter.
Subsequent posts posting about girl's skirts.
I've reported this as well, it's obviously bullshit.

It's not about it being offensive Goblin...the OPs other thread has been removed by MN for being pervy about young girls in skirts. Therefore one questions the OPS reasons behind posting this.

Hello. We're aware that the OP may well be one of our hairy-handed friends but we left this thread up because we thought it had turned into an interesting discussion...

Thank you.

Thanks HelenMN! Good to know you know...if you know what I mean! [chmm]

Hi everyone

I am OP (aka dimaggio) but I have had to make a new name for myself as for some reason I can't login with dim. I am so sorry for concering everyone with the other thread about DD and her behaviour with skirts, which I fully accept was poorly written and was easily mistaken for a troll. I have to assure you however every thread from me has been true stories, including this one, the one about a crossdressing man (true again) and one about kilts for DS. I don't see anything objectionable in any apart from the last one just pulled.

The replies on this thread make me slightly easier about what happened on Tuesday, and that's what MN is all about - to get advice and share ideas. Similarly with the strange man that concerned DD several weeks ago. Clearly there is something blasphemic about girls skirts.

Thanks Helen for keeping this thread up as it bears no relation to my other one today. This is the difference between MNHQ and other chat forums out there.

Em, 'hairy-handed' makes me sound like a bloke. Compliment or not?

I haven't read your other threads, but because of the subject matter and the posting emphasis some have obviously thought you were a bloke with paedophile-like obsessions with little girl's underwear and thus wanted you identified as a troll.
HTH.

So just because he is autistic he gets away with things? That's a brilliant message for us all.

hairy handed means troll, not man.

If you can't log in under the other name, it may be because they banned it? You should probably email them and ask.

mummy68 - I don't think anyone has said that.

That is not even close to what has been said on here.

It is only a brilliant message fir us all if we are all a bit dim

Surprised this has been further commented on but fwiw I did email to ask and was completely ignored. It hardly matters though as I can post under glesgal now, was just a pain having to make a new email account as well as username.

mummy68, wtf?