to get an autistic man stopped by police

[dimaggio]

I feel a little guilty after an occurrence yesterday in the station waiting for a train home. Story cut short I saw a youngish man (20s probably) appearing to show too much interest in children hanging around (this being about 4pm when kids are going home from school), frequently looking or staring at children, or standing very close to people, that?s how it looked to me anyway. I asked one of the British Transport police to keep an eye on him, and they duly followed him before pulling him over after stopping at a leaflet rack for a look where there happened to be other children. He looked totally flustered but looked to be attempting to answer questions politely. When police came back to me they said they eventually found an autism alert card which went some way to explaining his unusual social behaviour, and confusion/uncommunicativeness. Apparently they took his details but only advised him to be careful looking at or standing close to people in a public place. (no arrest, search or charge)

I feel quite bad now as from the little I know about Autism/Aspergers people are very likely to be misunderstood (eg certain colours people are wearing, spacial awareness, how actions are perceived even if they have no bad intent). I put this gentleman in a frightening position being approached by two authority figures who were not exactly easy on him when he was probably just going for his train home. Then again, is this better than letting a genuine offender escape notice and do something? Catch 22 to me.

My brother is autistic (18) and was stopped by the police walking home from college. They wanted to know where he was going, he told them home then to meet friends, they then asked what COLOUR, yes what colour his friends were and if he smoked weed...?? Shook him up quite a bit really. But it didn't bother him that much.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Being odd around children is being odd around children. It is not a crime and it is not abuse. It is not unacceptable. It is just odd.

It is arguable that the police should check that there is not a sinister aspect to his behaviour.
But being odd is not a crime.

There are lots of behaviours I would like to make criminal. Being odd is not one of them

If he was behaving unacceptably, then yes I agree he should have been told - but I'm a bit alarmed at the idea that it's now considered 'unacceptable' to even look at a child who isn't your own.

no, but frequently looking or staring at children, or standing very close to people, is odd.

Dimmagio....If I had done what you did I would have observed to see if the police treated him well. Certainly people are exploitable

Hippos, an Autism Alert card is a business card-type thing which you can stick in your wallet/purse and show to alert someone to the fact you are autistic.

Like this

FWIW I carry one for myself and also for DS (have had to use it once).

And dimaggio, I would say you did the right thing, alerting police.

People with Autism need to learn how to behave in a manner that is socially acceptable if they are able to go out alone. There is no harm in telling this guy that his behaviour seemed strange enough to someone that they were worried enough to alert the authorities.

Often, people with autism know they are autistic, they know their behaviour can sometimes appear strange to others. Someone will have, at some point, told him that he shouldn't stare at others, and that he should try to be careful about how close he stands to people.

While it may have been a surprise to the man that he was approached by security or police, I doubt that what they said came as a surprise to him.

My ds has ASD, I don't think OP did anything wrong at all.

Yes. It is odd.
But odd is not the same as dangerous.
Odd does not equal threat, nor pedophile, not scary.

We need to accept that some people in society are different and be rational in our response to that. Or else we need to lock up anyone with a learning disability or syndrome.

And we need to educate ourselves about which behaviours are really a threat to children if we wish to protect them effectively.

"People with Autism need to learn how to behave in a manner that is socially acceptable if they are able to go out alone"

Unless you can come up with every single scenario in which someone who is autistic is likely to encounter AND come up with a social story to explain what they are to do in that situation, it isn't always possible to guarantee that.

Just to clarify, he's not 'an autistic man' he is a man with autism, in the same way that a person with cancer is not a cancer man, they are a person with cancer.

so you rreoprted somebody to the police for looking at children - presumably teenagers if they were in groups getting the train - at a railway station?

Seriously?

YAB very very U.

"People with Autism need to learn how to behave in a manner that is socially acceptable if they are able to go out alone"

And so should people who don't have autism.

The OP says the man was staring at children and standing unnecessarily close to them. So his behaviour was concerning.

She never told the police he had actually done anything, just asked them to keep an eye on him.

The police did this and decided for themselves that his behaviour warranted them having a word with this man.

They then found out the reason for his behaviour and all was well.

What's wrong with that.

I was subjected to some very nasty groping as a 13 yo while standing in the queue for a bus in a busy bus station. It upset me badly and took me a long time to recover my confidence to go out alone again.

I wish someone had asked the police to keep an eye on this character before he violated and badly upset a young girl.

Agree with Pagwatch, and I think it's very sad that people can't even be a bit odd or eccentric any more without it being considered a matter for the police, or that we are so afraid of or offended by people with learning difficulties or anyone really who doesn't look 'quite right' or behave exactly like everyone else.

It seems quite a backwards, old-fashioned, small-minded outlook really, I thought we were more enlightened than that. How about a bit of live and let live and not always assuming the worst of everyone.

Agree with whoever said those looking to abuse children are probably very good at appearing normal and trustworthy, with very good people/social skills and ability to manipulate. Pretty much the opposite of someone with an ASD really.

yanbu op.

the important factors here are safeguarding of the children and the young man, op noticed from him behaviuor she witnessed that alerted her this man could pose a possible threat to these children, she did the right thing in asking police to monitor him.

The police decided to engage with him probably to gain a bit more information about his vulnerability and or any possible risk towards others. They gave him some very sound and sensible advice.

His apparent autism does not implicate nor imune him from posing a risk, I have worked with many people who have Autism 2 of which where of significant risk towards children sexually, but obviously many were not.

Right - so anybody who looks a bit od should be challenged by the police because they might grope somebody. Give me strength!!!!!

pretty clear point. sorry you didnt understand it

Well said coppertop

What a ridiculous statement.

Oh, bloody hell. The Daily Mail tendency is out in force.

my cousin has downs.sometimes his behaviour towards children can be a bit odd such as stroking their hair or if they are wearing wellies he likes to feel the plastic.he dosent do this with adults.
it is obvious he has downs.he goes to the shop every morning for whatever he needs so would be out by himself.however if his SN wasnt obvious then his behaviour would easily be construed as something more suspicous.

so op yanbu.you had no way of knowing,you alerted police to suspicious behaviour,i assume you didnt start screaming paedophile ,or make an accusation.
better to have someone stopped to find they have done nothing wrong than to ignore and something happen.

and no i am not suspicious of anyone who looks at children,but if a behaviour seems a bit off then there is no harm in just voicing it.

These threads always shock the hell out if me.