to get an autistic man stopped by police

[dimaggio]

I feel a little guilty after an occurrence yesterday in the station waiting for a train home. Story cut short I saw a youngish man (20s probably) appearing to show too much interest in children hanging around (this being about 4pm when kids are going home from school), frequently looking or staring at children, or standing very close to people, that?s how it looked to me anyway. I asked one of the British Transport police to keep an eye on him, and they duly followed him before pulling him over after stopping at a leaflet rack for a look where there happened to be other children. He looked totally flustered but looked to be attempting to answer questions politely. When police came back to me they said they eventually found an autism alert card which went some way to explaining his unusual social behaviour, and confusion/uncommunicativeness. Apparently they took his details but only advised him to be careful looking at or standing close to people in a public place. (no arrest, search or charge)

I feel quite bad now as from the little I know about Autism/Aspergers people are very likely to be misunderstood (eg certain colours people are wearing, spacial awareness, how actions are perceived even if they have no bad intent). I put this gentleman in a frightening position being approached by two authority figures who were not exactly easy on him when he was probably just going for his train home. Then again, is this better than letting a genuine offender escape notice and do something? Catch 22 to me.

I still think being talked to by the police was better than either being approached by a frightened and possibly aggressive member of the public, or having a rumour campaign develop that might end up with the individual with ASD being battered by 'right-thinking' types.
We live in a fearful and suspicious society. I'd love it if we didn't but we don't.
SWC, I understand how worried you are for your son's future, but mine is 16, looks 20 and is out in the world often without me.
So I'd rather he was accepted without reservations by all, but if that's not going to happen yet, I will accept this compromise if he alarms someone and use it as a teaching point for him.
That's why he has a mobile, he phones me when he needs to share something he's been confused about in the NT world and I try and interpret. He also phones to say he's met up with mates and is heading off somewhere, just like an NT teen. But other times he's lost in the real world and needs the clarity of a calm and rational adult. Me, the police, thefirstMrsDeVere.
Rather than a hysterical parent screeching 'Watchoo lookin' at PERV?'
So I'd rather it was the police. They are used to the responses of the general public and their paranoia.

'
"Today's society means that ANYONE can be a paedo .... The days of them wearing beige macs have gone!"

I didn't realizse that they ever wore uniforms. That must have made life so much easier. I suppose burglars always used to wear striped jerseys and carry bags marked swag too?

Of course you can tell a baddy. They are Not Like Us, they are the Other and Different. People like us are always honest and true and trustworthy and have lives we understand. And the same values and moral codes.

Seeker ... The exclamation mark -!- was to highlight a jokey/sarcastic remark. I assumed that was obvious!

I think it was more the 'today's society' that rang with the authenticity of a tabloid slogan, rather than the mac that amused me.
I wrote a dissertation on the image of the child in Victorian literature and society, paedophilia has been around a lot longer and in many guises. Anyone has always had the potential to be an abuser.

I think it is stressed much more today that even a nice friendly scout leader, the chatty 80 year old neighbour or the 20 year old boy next door type could be an abuser of some sort. There is no "typical" identifier.

Although donkeys ago, my mum did tell me to be careful of men in macs in parks!!!

Sorry - your exclamation marked sentence chimed so well with the rest of your post that the irony was invisible. Which bit was ironic? The looking creepy bit, the police wouldn't over react bit, the today's society bit, the paedo bit or just the beige mack bit

OP - if you see a man watching children suspiciously, please alert the police! Don't let negative comments here make you think twice.

I am sure Seeker would agree 100%!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is irritating me. Some people on here are suggesting those with SN could not ever be a predator when in fact they can and sometimes are!

Nbody is saying that special needs means weirdo...they are saying that behaviour can sometimes raise flags....and if SN are not immedately obvious to a casual observer then that behaviour can cause things to happen... as with the OP.

Human nature has developed to ensure that we DO notice differences.....we SEE if someone's behaviour is not the "norm" we can't exect people to ignore their instincts incase they cause offence.

If the man looked "normal" but was seemingly over-interested in the kids...well then LOTS of people would worry....it's not somehow Nazi-ish to point it out, out of concern.

Whitebumof the mountain - you have said what I was thinking!

This man may have had the mildest form of autism and could have been a paedo.... Unfortunately these things do happen.

Apologies if only people with severe autism have the autism cards ...

The SEN thing is a red herring. This was a train station - not a dark alley. The children were presumably teenagers if they were travelling without adults.

It is NOT OK to set the police on a man "looking" at people.

Being challenged in a public place by the police could have unpleasant consequences for the man concerned-somebody earlier mentioned the "rumour mill"

Seeker.....with respect neither you nor I were there....there is "looking" and there is "Looking"...some people looking would be no bother....it depends on their expression, there behaviour and the instincts of the watcher....body language is powerful.

"THEIR" behviour

'Seeker.....with respect neither you nor I were there....there is "looking" and there is "Looking"...some people looking would be no bother....it depends on their expression, there behaviour and the instincts of the watcher....body language is powerful.'

That's why Asperger's is a Social Communication Disorder, and ASDs are known as the hidden disability.
You really don't seem to understand the basics of this.

"Being challenged in a public place could have unpleasant consequences"

Well yes! It could! But should we all bloody avoid telling the police we are worried in case we case offence??? There is finger pointing on this thread about pedo hysteria....but that comment really takes the biscuit. Talk about PC!

The OP had every right to alert the police. You don't know that this man may have had a search warrant out for him, that he picked kids up from stations, gave them a quick grope. ..... These things do happen in the real world.

Goblin Yes I do....but should we all avoid pointing out worrying behaviour just in case the person is someone with Aspergers!??

Actually whitebum I think the people who are saying that people with SN could never be paedos are the ones who were happy for the man to have been frisked (I'm still not sure how else the police 'found' his card, which is what it says in the OP) and producing an autism alert card. Why else would they find that such a reassurance?

I would have preferred him to have been left alone to catch his train

No, as I've said all along, I'd rather my DS was chatted to by the police than challenged by the likes of you.

BUt Goblin nobody is talking about your DS....just as I am not talking about those people in my life with SN...so as to keep the debate on a non personal level. And Goblin....how are the police ging to ascertain if someone is ok...unless a meber of the public alert them?

The police dont have time to go around noticing every persons behaviour...and jumping in for a chat incase some member of the public gets worried about them!

Not PC at all.

I am commenting on the many posters who have said the equivalent of "Well, if he hadn't done anything wrong he had nothing to worry about"

This man (and I repeat, his SEN satus is irrelevant ) was challenged by the police in a public place - because the OP thought he was acting suspiciously by "looking" at children (who, I also repeat, were probably teenagers). I think this is not on.

Seeker.
If his SEN status were irrelevent there would be no thread.

I must be lacking communication skills.
I have already said that the OP did nothing wrong in my opinion.
She reported something that she was concerned about and action was taken.
How did you misread that as my saying no one should alert the police?
So why are you fussing
'And Goblin....how are the police ging to ascertain if someone is ok...unless a meber of the public alert them?'
I said I'd rather that happened than missing out the middle step and confronting the man directly. Because I think he'd get more rationality and awareness from the police than from a paranoid member of the public.

Sorry Goblin

Thank god I'm female.