to get an autistic man stopped by police

[dimaggio]

I feel a little guilty after an occurrence yesterday in the station waiting for a train home. Story cut short I saw a youngish man (20s probably) appearing to show too much interest in children hanging around (this being about 4pm when kids are going home from school), frequently looking or staring at children, or standing very close to people, that?s how it looked to me anyway. I asked one of the British Transport police to keep an eye on him, and they duly followed him before pulling him over after stopping at a leaflet rack for a look where there happened to be other children. He looked totally flustered but looked to be attempting to answer questions politely. When police came back to me they said they eventually found an autism alert card which went some way to explaining his unusual social behaviour, and confusion/uncommunicativeness. Apparently they took his details but only advised him to be careful looking at or standing close to people in a public place. (no arrest, search or charge)

I feel quite bad now as from the little I know about Autism/Aspergers people are very likely to be misunderstood (eg certain colours people are wearing, spacial awareness, how actions are perceived even if they have no bad intent). I put this gentleman in a frightening position being approached by two authority figures who were not exactly easy on him when he was probably just going for his train home. Then again, is this better than letting a genuine offender escape notice and do something? Catch 22 to me.

My younger brother has High functioning autism, at 15 he is 6'4 and looks about 25. To him he is about 10-12 in his head and therefore gravitates towards younger people. He also gets very nervous in certain stressful situations and will stand close to people to feel more secure.

If this had been my younger brother I would be fucking furious at you for subjecting him to something like that, I'm absolutely astounded that people think it's ok to report someone to the police for being what they think is 'odd' YABVVVVVVVU I stare at people all the time when at train stations, airports, restaurants,it used t be termed people watching

I am fuming on behalf of this man who may have been a boy. I bet it takes a lot for him to go out alone and I hope this hasn't bothered him. I want to cry at the wa people with ASD are viewed by some people.

But Tsil what should I do if I see a man or what looks like a man rather than a teen and he is acting oddly around kids? SHould I ignore him incse he is Autistic?

Sadly this is life and I will always defend the OP in this case. She DIDN'T KNOW the man had SN

smallwhitecat people who want to defend the innocent in a strange situation are not swine.

worraliberty The whole of central London is a designated area under the terrorism act, allowing plod to search anyone they fancy for no reason. Outside of London much stricter rules apply and in his case I suspect there would have been no reason to search.

White bum - if you think looking at kids and standing too close to people constitutes odd behaviour enough to involve the police then that's up to you. I think this country has gone PC mad and no one seems to use their common sense anymore, take a step back and say 'actually I might be over reacting'

But hey she didn't know he had ASD so it's ok right. For me ignorance is not a reason just like the people that stare at my little brother and call him names.

Swc - I try my whole family does but attitudes like the ones shown on this thread terrify me for what they mean for him and other sufferers.

Well of course the police wouldn't have charged him with anything, OP. Looking at people isn't a crime yet AFAIK. If it were then the man would surely have also had every right to ask for you to be charged with the same offence.

I'm nodding in agreement with Tsil.

The fact remains, it doesn;t actually matte whether the man in question had special needs or not - the special needs in this case is a red herring.

You ^cannot" set the police on someone because you think they might possibly be looking at someone in a funny way. You just can't!

I honestly still don't understand what actual threat is created by a man stareing and being a bit odd.

I have asked several times.
There seems to be no answer other than that maybe he might potentially be a bit odd.

You can seeker.
If he is looking at children a bit funny.
There is no limit on what must be done to protect children from....well...stuff.

Of course none of that actually stops child abuse but it makes us all feel better if we can point at the scary man. Because pedophile stare and look odd. Fact.

I took the boys to the park on Friday.
A guy in his twenties poked his head over the hedge and said 'is there a spare swing?' (I was on a swing, DS2 & 3 on swings and Ds4 asleep in the buggy). I said 'of course'.

He came in and I was expecting him to have a child with him but he was on his own.

He sat next to me on the swing and started chatting. Within a few sentences I could tell he had LDs possibly ASD. His first question was 'have you had a baby?' when I said, 'yes 5' he said 'do they all have the same dad?'

I explained that it wasnt a particularly polite question to ask and suggested he didnt go around asking it again. . He chatted for quite a while about random things. He was sweet.

Thing is, I have a child with LDs and I work with children with LDs as does OH. We are used to it. The man didnt alarm me although he was being a bit

I think that he might well have worried someone less used to this sort of behaviour or even scared them.

It made me think of my DS2 and how he might well make this sort of social mistake in 10 years time. It made me quite sad to think of the sort of reaction he might get.

And as long as we define abusers of children as "other" we don't have to think complicated and scary thoughts about the fact that most child abuse takes place in the family, and "strnger danger" is largely paranoia.

Exactly.
Every person who met my abuser thought he was a wonderful man. He was polite, charming and children adored him.

odd, quirky, awkward = pedophile is massively damaging to childrens safety

I wish there were more education about ASD. There are so many more people out and about with it now (that used to be locked away) and people seem so very ignorant about SN that you can't see. It's like the world hasn't caught up.

The whole 'odd'= paedo is something I think only people who haven't encountered paedophilia say. Everyone I know who has been abused (a scary amount) have been abused by family and friends. But that's much, much more challenging to deal with as a reality.

I resent being told that I am "swine" and ignorant about SN. My life is touched by many people with special needs including Autism and Aspergers. I KNOW about these things...the OP saw something which she did not feel comfortable with and she reported it...she never ran at the man yelling PEDO! or anything like that.

She did the right thing.

I didn't care for the "swine" comment either. But I do think it was meant in a "casrting pearls before swine" context. Still a tem probably best avoided.

The problem is that the OP did effectively yell "Paedo!"

Why else would she tell the police about a man looking at children? If she didn't think he was a paedophile why tell anyone?

Perfect way to shut down a dabate, though. And not everyone is unconvincable. Remember, it;s not just the posters who read the threads on here.

"Hopefully he'll have learnt from this and be able to moderate his behaviour" yes because its that easy

TBH I think people are very over reactive to "weird" people hanging about! Do you know you are more likely to be abused by someone you know, than some man hanging about on a station. This is why schools dont teach stranger danger much anymore because they know 98% of abuse is within the family.

So, yes OP i think you are being unreasonable.
Autism has so many levels and people effected by ASD have to live in this world along side everyone else, maybe if we dont know about ASD, you should spend time learning about it instead of wasting police time

smallwhitecat your comment did not hit any mark....it just sounds bad...I don't like it but you haven't made anyone but yourself look bad in calling people names.

Rational persuasion is one thing...but no matter how little you think I know about Autism and Aspergers you would be wrong. If someone feels uncomfortable or frightened by someone elses behaviour then they have the right to draw attention to it...to speak to someone in authority.

That's why we have police officers etc. so people can go to them for help and advice.

If the OP felt uncomfortable about the mans behaviour it was HER RIGHT to speak to staff....it was not a slur against people with SN. No atter how much you seem to want to take it personally..

at the first MrsdeVere.......

'His first question was 'have you had a baby?' when I said, 'yes 5' he said 'do they all have the same dad?'

Not really relevant to the thread but I was once asked something similar by a socialworker.....i.e. does DS2 have siblings?. Me-yes 3. SW-how many fathers are there..... & .

YANBU. You saw behaviour which was alarming you because it involved a lot of staring at children.

Having an illness / condition or learning difficulty does not exclude someone from being potentially dangerous to children.

Life is just not that cut and dry. You did the right thing and I'm sure it was handled fine.

Sorry but am I missing something here.....? It seems like a lot of people are having a go at the OP. She sees an adult man watching children in a creepy way and so tells the police. It then transpires that the man has autism. The OP would not have known this before the police found out and so she was right to advise the police. Surely if they thought the OP was being overreacting they would not have spoken to the man. His actions were clearly a cause for concern to them also. If that had been one of my kids being watched I would thank the OP. The OP was NBU.

Today's society means that ANYONE can be a paedo .... The days of them wearing beige macs have gone!