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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to get an autistic man stopped by police

198 replies

dimaggio · 27/04/2011 11:40

I feel a little guilty after an occurrence yesterday in the station waiting for a train home. Story cut short I saw a youngish man (20s probably) appearing to show too much interest in children hanging around (this being about 4pm when kids are going home from school), frequently looking or staring at children, or standing very close to people, that?s how it looked to me anyway. I asked one of the British Transport police to keep an eye on him, and they duly followed him before pulling him over after stopping at a leaflet rack for a look where there happened to be other children. He looked totally flustered but looked to be attempting to answer questions politely. When police came back to me they said they eventually found an autism alert card which went some way to explaining his unusual social behaviour, and confusion/uncommunicativeness. Apparently they took his details but only advised him to be careful looking at or standing close to people in a public place. (no arrest, search or charge)

I feel quite bad now as from the little I know about Autism/Aspergers people are very likely to be misunderstood (eg certain colours people are wearing, spacial awareness, how actions are perceived even if they have no bad intent). I put this gentleman in a frightening position being approached by two authority figures who were not exactly easy on him when he was probably just going for his train home. Then again, is this better than letting a genuine offender escape notice and do something? Catch 22 to me.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfTheNight · 27/04/2011 12:17

colditz Wed 27-Apr-11 12:10:28
I would much rather my son got told to "Go home" by the police than lynched by an ignorant peedo huntin' mob!

Oh yes! 100% agree with that.

It's a fear of mine, actually. You read awful stories about people with autism being attacked, brutalised - murdered in some cases! They are so vulnerable. Sad It terrifies me.

Makes me glad that mine are so vulnerable that it is reasonable to never allow them out unsupervised.

How horrible is that of me Blush

JamieAgain · 27/04/2011 12:18

I agree with Hecate. Presumably it isn't nice for him to be approached, but that's what the alert card is for.

The only time when I reported someone for suspicious behaviour was when a man was behaving in an altogether less "obvious" way, but I strongly believe he was going to flash some children (he couldn't have got away with worse, it was too busy). He was in a playground, staring at children, but walking up to stand near different women over the course of a couple of hours we were there, so to a casual observer he looked like he was with one of them and their child.

LaWeasel · 27/04/2011 12:20

IME the police are very understanding of people with SEN/SN issues, and I think generally, the police would deal with an unexpected situation like that better than the general public would.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 27/04/2011 12:26

It's not horrible at all, Hecate.

Good on you for acting in the best interests of your DCs.

smallwhitecat · 27/04/2011 12:26

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worraliberty · 27/04/2011 12:31

To be fair to the OP smallwhitecat she felt uneasy about it and sometimes that's not something you can ignore.

I think she only alerted the Police because they happened to be there...it's not like she got on her mobile and phoned them.

I think I would have done the same if I happened upon some Police officers when I was in two minds about a situation.

And actually, many stations have posters asking the public to alert them to any suspicious activity.

JamieAgain · 27/04/2011 12:34

Good point smallwhitecat.

smallwhitecat · 27/04/2011 12:35

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Groovee · 27/04/2011 12:38

If I was feeling uneasy I'd bring it to the attention of the local police too.

worraliberty · 27/04/2011 12:44

In this case I suspect rational assessment would have resulted in the answer "it is not necessary"

In your mind perhaps and in the mind of many others..but not in the mind of the OP. 'Rational assessment' is such a personal thing and we do what we instinctively feel is right.

smallwhitecat · 27/04/2011 13:08

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worraliberty · 27/04/2011 13:11

If you try to keep in context it'll be easier for you to understand what I'm saying smallwhitecat

smallwhitecat · 27/04/2011 13:14

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Ormirian · 27/04/2011 13:15

If he really meant any harm to kids surely he wouldn't be so obvious about his interest? That would have suggested to me that he was autistic or had learning difficulties of some kind.

Ormirian · 27/04/2011 13:15

However it doesn't sound as if the police were unduly harsh on him.

Saltire · 27/04/2011 13:18

I don't think YABU at all - better you mentioned it the police than some ned (to use a Scots term) took it upon himself to deal out some "justice" (in his eyes) at someone who he decided was a possible pervert.

Also, the police would have been able to assess, on discovering the man had SN, if he was ok, he might have needed help, and lets be honest, some members of society sadly wouldn't help!

smallwhitecat · 27/04/2011 13:20

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HipposGoBeserk · 27/04/2011 13:20

What is an Autism Alert card?

worraliberty · 27/04/2011 13:21

The context of the OP's story of course and the fact that your 'Rational assessment' would clearly be different to hers from what you've said.

Pagwatch · 27/04/2011 13:26

I think the op acted out of genuine concern and I was not there to judge so I would not criticise her actions.

But tbh I do find it depressing that we seem to regard anyone exhibiting unusual behaviour any where near children as a huge potential threat.
Most of the people harming children look like us and behave like us. That is how they do it.

If we stopped wanting pedophiles to be 'weirdos' in the subconscious desire to be able to spot them, life would be much safer for everyone. Especially children

JamieAgain · 27/04/2011 13:28

That's what I was getting at Pag. The only time I was genuinely concerned, the man was making a great effort to cover up what he was doing.

VajazzHands · 27/04/2011 13:30

SWC, To a person like myself who doesn't know enough about autism to spot it.. (although I'd say only medical proffessionals should go around diagnosing randoms as beign autistic) the person at the train station was just being odd around children..

Would you genuinely she rather not offend someone than possibly allow children to be abused? If the man was acting "unacceptably" he needed to be told no matter what his status.

FanjOeuForTheMammaries · 27/04/2011 13:32

Pag is right, the only person I have ever met who has been convicted of offences against children seemed like the nicest most normal guy you could ever meet at the time.

FanjOeuForTheMammaries · 27/04/2011 13:33

the only one i have known of, obviously, we were all very pleased he had got together with a family member as he seemed such a great guy Hmm

FanjOeuForTheMammaries · 27/04/2011 13:34

he did not wear a raincoat, stare at children or anything like that