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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Need advice badly!!!

383 replies

worriedandneedsomeadvice · 25/04/2011 16:54

I've just been at the garden centre with my 7 month DD and my 4 year old cocker spaniel.

A man bent down to stroke my dog before I could tell him not to and my dog went for him. Badly. His hand was dripping blood immediately.

I apologised and apologised and my BIL (the manager of the garden centre) took over to make sure the man was okay so I could take the dog (and DD) out.

He's been a bit growly lately but has never done anything like this before.

I'm shaking. I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know what to do.

He's fantastic with my DD, gentle as a lamb with her but as I said, lately he's been growly, especially at children he doesn't know so I've made sure to keep him on a lead and mostly just at home. But he loves BIL so I always take him to the garden centre when we go...

I can't believe this has happened. I don't know what to do. I'm waiting for BIL to call me, but the mans hand looked terrible... Absolutely dripping with blood. It was so quick.

Please give me some advice if you can??

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 25/04/2011 18:59

For every story about a dog that turns on someone, there are equal number of stories of dogs helping. The irrational fear does annoy me. We were taught to go to our dog for protection. A burglar c

BlingLoving · 25/04/2011 18:59

Oops, iPhone.

A burglar coming to our house would have seen a very different side to her.

Rhinestone · 25/04/2011 19:01

Phew! Sooo pleased he's not taking it further. Obviously a genuine animal lover.

Sounds like your dog's protective instinct has effectively had an 'espresso shot' with the arrival of DD. Still get him checked though and obviously you need to manage his behaviour in future but you know all that and you're a responsible dog person so will deal with that. Hope you can relax a bit now.

vintageteacups · 25/04/2011 19:01

What do you mean you never have him PTS? What if he savaged someone? You wouldn't have the choice.

However, you do seem a very responsible dog owner so I'm sure, once you've taken him to the vet etc, you'll be able to work out why he is behaving like this.

Vallhala · 25/04/2011 19:03

Thank goodness that neither the man nor your dog are looking at anything worse, worried. All credit to him for that.

If your vet finds nothing to worry about then an accredited behaviouralist really should - must, IMHO - be your next step.

I hope you never experience a day like today again (and bow down at the feet of owners who come across a problem and work on it rather than kill their dogs Wink ).

Good luck and keep well, all of you. :)

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 25/04/2011 19:04

Phew - that's a relief (that he doesn't want to take it any further). Does your BIL have his address so you can send him a 'Thank you for understanding' card & pressie?? With a little note to say what you are doing to prevent it happening again??

If he decided to take it further, the decision about having your dog PTS could have been taken out of your hands :(

Let us know how you get on at the vets in the morning. Make sure you get him tested for Lung Worm disease.

Hopefully a bit of specific training/guidance will help him sort out his new place in the pack or the level of protection he needs to offer you. Funny thing is it's a fine line, if this man had hurt you, he would have been seen to have done a good thing (hero dog protects new mother from attack) - yet to him, it's the same thing.

BeerTricksPotter · 25/04/2011 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vallhala · 25/04/2011 19:06

"What do you mean you never have him PTS? What if he savaged someone? You wouldn't have the choice."

I'd make sure that I had a choice personally. See what I said at the end of my post at 17.24, VT.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 25/04/2011 19:10

Me too Val - it's amazing how a dog can 'run away from home' [bugrin]

Original poster
worriedandneedsomeadvice · 25/04/2011 19:13

Yes, I'm going to drop something round to him tomorrow...

I'm so relieved.

And Val... That's exactly what I was about to do!

Thanks so much everyone xxx

OP posts:
Vallhala · 25/04/2011 19:17

I think I love you, worried. [bugrin]

But... be careful what you do wrt the injured man. I'd hate to think that someone persuaded him to change his mind about pressing charges and that you compounded the problem with a huge admission of guilt in the form of a letter and chocolates.

moosemama · 25/04/2011 19:20

Good news that the man doesn't want to take it any further.

If the vet doesn't come up with anything, please, please, have a look at the APDT site and make an appointment with a qualified behaviourist as soon as possible. You vet may actually be able t recommend a good behaviourist to you as well. As others have said, you obviously love your dog a great deal and I'm sure will do everything possible to make sure he is happy, settled and never a danger to anyone.

Val, I don't think you need ever bow down to anyone when it comes to dogs or any other animals for that matter. Wink

Vallhala · 25/04/2011 19:26

Blush don't you believe it moosemama. "You do what you can" as my dad would have put it... the rest is all down to others and committed ownership is, I'm sure you'll agree, a big part of that.

GloriaSmut · 25/04/2011 19:29

Your dog is not your baby, OP. He's a dog and needs to be treated like one. However, I'm glad that the bitten man has taken things so well. You will need to take your cocker spaniel to the vet to check any underlying causes for his recent growliness. Although I would say - and this is from experience owning the breed - that they can be growly on occasions and they are not a breed I'd recommend to inexperienced owners. They look gorgeous and can be loving, loyal and fabulous companions but they are not always "reliable".

Rhinestone · 25/04/2011 19:34

'He's a dog and needs to be treated like one.'

What exactly does that mean Gloria ? Hmm

moosemama · 25/04/2011 19:35

Val, I suppose, but I still live in awe of people who are as proactive in animal rescue as you are. One day I would like to get back involved with it all, but for the moment it seems impossible.

KD0706 · 25/04/2011 19:41

I'm really pleased the man didn't want to take things further, worried

I think it would definitely be a good idea to let him know you're tackling the problem but I agree you should be careful to not make too much of saying sorry, etc. It's sad but in this day and age I think we all need to watch admissions of liability...

RumourOfAHurricane · 25/04/2011 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gkys · 25/04/2011 20:14

dog out in the heat and protecting its pack, you as the pack leader and your dd as a "pup", it was in essence doing its job, however you will be very lucky if its not taken further.

totaly agree with posters advising a trip to the vet, good luck with animal rescue, i had a rotweiller, she started growling at ds1, so was rehomed, no animal rehab in the country would touch her, because of her history and she had never bit.

hopefuly the man is fond of animals, and will not press the issue.

out of interest did the dog growl first?

it makes a difference, if it gave a warning that was ignored it is better than no warning ( animal behavourist explanation, i was involved in a court case as a wittness to a dog attack, with a former employer) as no warning indicates that the animal is unpredicable

Vallhala · 25/04/2011 20:17

gkys, it IS extremely hard to find rescue places at the best of times and particularly for more difficult dogs but such dogs should not be given up on.

I'm a network rescuer - finding rescue places for dogs on death row is what I do.

gkys · 25/04/2011 20:30

vallhala we had a happy ending, she went to friends in the severn valley, no kids, just loads of space. she had to go because she could have easily ended up on death row, you guys do an amazing job, wish i had heard of you back then

strandedbear · 25/04/2011 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Onetoomanycornettos · 25/04/2011 21:36

What's the point of having a dog if you can't let them near the baby? The OP says the dog and baby get on very well, playing, trying to lick baby, I just can't understand how you could continue with that after what has happened today, which leaves the dog completely isolated. Even after behavioural therapy, I would just feel constantly worried.

Dogs can just turn, our dog was lovely and patient and kind and incredibly tolerant, til it got in pain and growled/snapped at a child where my dad works. He never took the dog in again which was sad, but he simply couldn't risk it.

It does worry me that there are dogs like this around (I am scared of dogs and this just fuels my beliefs that you can't trust them). In this situation, the man should not have patted a dog, I know not to do that, but what if you were in the garden centre which is busy and your hand swung near the dog, or you accidentally trod on its paw and so on? And whilst I have taught my children never to touch strange dogs, I still have to police this like crazy as they love dogs and I have seen my youngest sneak a pat when she thinks I"m not looking, she simply has no idea what the risk is. It's incredibly worrying to me that there are dogs that don't seem aggressive, then just bite like this, even if they are sick/ill/stressed whatever.

Original poster
worriedandneedsomeadvice · 25/04/2011 21:55

Stranded - if you feel that a dog deserves a death sentence without question after a lifetime of good behaviour followed by one mistake then I thank my lucky stars my dog bit someone who was nothing like you. In our house, our dog isn't a disposable pet, he is a very much loved member of our family, this is his home and he's here for life, regardless of what lengths I have to go to to fix any problems he might have.

Tomorrow I will take him to our vet and get him checked out, talk to her about a behaviourist and I will muzzle him when he goes out in the meantime. The idea that you would rather just have him put down is quite upsetting to me.

Onetoomany - the 'point' of having a dog is that he adds so much to our lives. He will not be isolated and isn't now... I don't know why he snapped today but at the moment he's being his usual self and is laying on the floor by DH's feet and our DD is in bed. I'm sure they'll play together again. I'll take precautions of course but I'm not convinced that he's any sort of threat to her. He adores her.

OP posts:
clams · 25/04/2011 21:55

Dear God OP, if your baby (aka the dog) attacks your baby (human offspring) I hope you can live with yourself. I have a dog, I love dogs, but I know the difference between a person and an animal with a pack instinct. You probably won't acknowledge that by the sound of it but at least muzzle the dog in public because its likely to do this again.

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