to have said 'No' to a friend who assumed they could use my house for her kid's b'day party?

[summerpixie]

I texted a friend asking how they were going to celebrate her DD's birthday. She replied with the list of events: Cinema, MacDonalds then .... round to mine to have a bit of a party to cut the cake.
Now, I know that text messages tend to be misconstrued but she did NOT put 'LOL' at the end of it. I told her my house is a mess and I wasn't having visitors round and to go to her in-laws who have a huge 100+ ft garden! She replied saying that she would have to ASK them and my house is always a mess! So, she didn't feel the need to ask me, not even related to her, but had to ask her in-laws?
She hasn't even invited my DS to the cinema either although he is a lot younger than her DD but she isn't taking her own DS either (same age as my DS).

The way I see it is that she's not even inviting us but want's to use our house to cater and accomodate for her afterparty. AIBU or is it just my hormones?

Today is the day and I checked the times of the film they are going to, should I go out elsewhere around the time it finishes as I think she is still assuming she can come round as she text my DH saying they would see us all on Friday. I am in no mood to deal with other people's kids during my Easter break.

BUMP

Have you spoken to 'friend' since Legoland?

would love to know how day went. hope it was good for you whatever happened

I haven't communicated with her since Friday, but she posted pics of her DD and FIVE friends at my Local MacD's on FB. She also posted pics of her family at the I-L's yesterday so I guess she didn't ask MIL if she could go round there to cut the cake on Friday, as she wouldn't visit 2 days on the trot.

I told my brother about it and he used his favourite word: LIBS!

She has a strange relationship with her DH. They never go out together. He has never accompanied them to any parties and is always out doing his own thing. She has moaned about their separate finances and how he doesn't give her money (although I am sure this is untrue as she earns next to nothing just to get her childcare element in CTC to get rid of her son during the day). She showed me a text message her MIL had sent her telling them to go to marriage counselling (her and DH not MIL!). My DH and I keep joking that it was probably a marriage of convenience!

Whilst I am moaning, although I feel sorry for her DS my biggest pet hate is children without manners! Her children demand and don't say 'please' or 'thank-you'. When they come round I ignore their demands until they realise the correct way to ask. She doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with the way her children request things. Well actually...they just assume they can have things...just like their mother, it seems!

I really do not understand why you are friends with this woman, you clearly do not like her.

Only on mumsnet do people have friendships like this.

No people have these relationships in real life, its just easier to vent on them here.

anonymosity, did you mean to put a comma after no?
as in
No, people have these relationships in real life...

I guess this "friendship" is one of those between women whose DC know each other, or who have met at M&T groups, rather than between actual friends.

How disappointing, I was hoping she gave the 7 children a leg up over the fence to use your garden regardless. cue police being called by dilligent neighbour, arrests, parents collecting children from police station.

Shame

OP you should of set up a video camera to see if she turned up and her reaction when you didnt answer the door!

Yes Thumbunny, I did. I frequently make a nonsense of my own sentences on here by leaving out a comma, or similar.