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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have said 'No' to a friend who assumed they could use my house for her kid's b'day party?

209 replies

summerpixie · 22/04/2011 08:44

I texted a friend asking how they were going to celebrate her DD's birthday. She replied with the list of events: Cinema, MacDonalds then .... round to mine to have a bit of a party to cut the cake.
Now, I know that text messages tend to be misconstrued but she did NOT put 'LOL' at the end of it. I told her my house is a mess and I wasn't having visitors round and to go to her in-laws who have a huge 100+ ft garden! She replied saying that she would have to ASK them and my house is always a mess! So, she didn't feel the need to ask me, not even related to her, but had to ask her in-laws?
She hasn't even invited my DS to the cinema either although he is a lot younger than her DD but she isn't taking her own DS either (same age as my DS).

The way I see it is that she's not even inviting us but want's to use our house to cater and accomodate for her afterparty. AIBU or is it just my hormones?

Today is the day and I checked the times of the film they are going to, should I go out elsewhere around the time it finishes as I think she is still assuming she can come round as she text my DH saying they would see us all on Friday. I am in no mood to deal with other people's kids during my Easter break.

OP posts:
HRHPrincessZombiePlan · 22/04/2011 20:19

Another one hoping OP was at Legoland and not hosting the cheeky mare's kid's party.

Feel a bit sorry for the little girl, but at the end of the day it was her own mother that caused the problem. OP can't spend her life twisting herself into a pretzel solely to sort out other people's problems of their own making...

LadyPelvicFloorsOfSteel · 22/04/2011 20:28

I thought it was bad enough that the reversing thread was unresolved, now there's another one! The suspense is unbearable...

timeforachangearooney · 22/04/2011 20:33

was reading this earlier and logged back on to check out what happened [bublush]

missnevermind · 22/04/2011 20:38

nosey [buwink]

gillybean2 · 22/04/2011 20:43

They're probably still queuing at legoland

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 22/04/2011 20:44

Well if OP is still at Legoland I hope she's getting better weather than we have. It's thunder and lightening here [buhmm]

Lonnie · 22/04/2011 20:49

checking to see as well was hoping for a update [busmile]

Original poster
summerpixie · 22/04/2011 20:51

Wow, really didn't expect that this would generate so much in my absence. Well, we went out to Legoland and the weather was great but long queues, as to be expected. No text and no phonecall. Maybe she got the hint when I posted on facebook that we were in Legoland. She near enough lives on facebook so undoubtedly she had a check on status updates.

DH suggested that maybe she turned up and snuck into our back garden anyway to cut the cake. I haven't been out to check yet.

I will update you all if and when she tells me what she did instead. Hopefully, she hosted the cake cutting at her own place and is still cleaning up after them and hoovering up the trodden in cake crumbs, icing and jam!

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 22/04/2011 20:53

Oooh good for you OP!

I really really really really want to know if she came by!

nilbymaaf · 22/04/2011 20:54

Woohoo! Grin
It was a fab day for legoland Wink

boosmummie · 22/04/2011 20:55

Oh yes because I am very nosey would love to hear if she has anything to say. Although one might hope that possibly she has got the message...but I doubt it from what you have said.

Glad you had a lovely day though.

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 22/04/2011 20:57

Good for you OP [busmile]

anonymosity · 22/04/2011 21:00

well done!

DontGoCurly · 22/04/2011 21:07

Well done OP. [bugrin]

BlueCat2010 · 22/04/2011 21:10

What a fucking liberty!

Well done OP, hopefully this 'friend' will have learned a lesson today, mainly how to clean cake up! [bugrin]

TheMonster · 22/04/2011 21:13

I wonder if you'll ever hear from her again.

Original poster
summerpixie · 22/04/2011 21:24

DH and I checked the garden table but figured if there had been cake crumbs the cats would've eaten them up!

I guess I have been a bit of a soft touch with her as I feel sorry for her kids. Well, her DS. She never does anything 'family' with him and always moans about him being naughty. I don't mind him coming round or meeting up with them every so often for him to play with my DS. However, I am not a babysitting or party service and she seems to use a lot of her so-called friends. Her DH ended up in hospital one morning during school hols. She dumped her kids on a friend who lived a few streets from her. Understandable if she was actually accompanying DH to Hospital. She didn't go with him! She sent her MIL instead and then went out to do her shopping (again).

She once invited me and DS round to her IL's, as they had gone away for the weekend, to coax MIL's cat as she had to feed her and cat doesn't like her or kids but likes me. When DS and I arrived, she wasn't even there. However, her MIL was and she let me in. I think MIL likes me more than her own DIL ;o) the MIL told me that her DIL had not fed the cat all weekend and had gone out to, yes you guessed it 'shopping' over 2 hours ago despite telling her she would only be an hour getting her eyebrows done! MIL must've told her she takes the piss and has gotten her back up.

OP posts:
RevoltingPeasant · 22/04/2011 21:31

Good for you summer!

Now, if you were a bit evil..... you'd Facebook her and say, 'Hope the party went well, did you save me some cake? Will pop round tomorrow to pick up my piece!'

Grin
chipmonkey · 22/04/2011 21:55

Good for you, summer!Grin

TheMonster · 22/04/2011 22:13

I like it, RevoltingPeasant! Go on Summer, do it! do it do it do it doitdoitdoit!

OldMumsy · 22/04/2011 22:51

Tell her to piss off.

thumbbunny · 23/04/2011 05:59

Well done summer and glad you had a good time at Legoland. :)

KaraStarbuckThrace · 23/04/2011 07:26

Yey Summerpixie!!

OMG, this woman sounds even more awful, her poor DS and her poor MIL.
How on earth does her DH put up with her he must have the patience of a saint!

2rebecca · 23/04/2011 10:33

Why is this woman your "friend"?
She doesn't sound very pleasant or empathetic and you don't seem to like her much.

gillybean2 · 23/04/2011 13:15

I'm sure the 'friend' doesn't even get it.
She's probably mightily miffed that OP renegaded on their 'argeement'.
Or, possibly even more likely, is moaning to all and sundry that you invited her over and then went out and what kind of friend does that!?

I think perhaps your DH should have texted her back (too late now) saying 'Didn't know you were coming with us, thought you were at the cinema on friday for birthday party. Will talk to DW as it was meant to be a family day...' And see what she said to that. Pity it's too late