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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be disgusted with people who shove their life long dogs out because baby on way

144 replies

ohnoudidnt · 16/04/2011 22:52

My friend who has had their dog for about 8 years,who once was her world has now shoved him to one side, even though he is well behaved,good around the baby etc ...I feel like he has been disgarded.I am in the same situation and my dogs are still part of my family and always will be.

OP posts:
hester · 16/04/2011 22:55

Well, I'm not a dog person so must admit I totally don't get the problem. Do you mean she's got rid of the dog, or is just not giving him as much attention?

Obviously it's not good if the dog is being seriously neglected, but otherwise.... well, it's just a dog, isn't it? [Sits back and lets fire crackle]

tethersegg · 16/04/2011 22:56
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/04/2011 22:56

Not unreasonable at all... pets are part of the family for life.

Mahraih · 16/04/2011 22:56

We've always owned dogs and they have been 'part of the family'. In that sense, I understand where you come from.

However, there is a point where you have to get a grip. And this is it.

Dog. Baby. The dog SHOULDN'T be the priority and yes, you should love the baby MORE than the dog. Nobody is suggesting it go to the canid glue factory, just that it doesn't enjoy pride of place anymore. Sounds like your friend (assuming she still feeds and walks Fido) has the right idea...

Reality · 16/04/2011 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaisyMooCow · 16/04/2011 22:58

If you mean they're getting rid of the dog entirely then yes that's cruel.

Mahraih · 16/04/2011 23:00

They haven't got rid of the dog - OP wrote that she 'feels' the dog has been disgarded.

I'm going to assume the dog is happy for some peace and quiet after eight years of being the woman's 'world'.

CointreauVersial · 16/04/2011 23:00

A friend of mine pays more attention to her dogs than her DCs.

Now that's wrong.

GloriaSmut · 16/04/2011 23:01

Heaven help the baby when the next child comes along.

Reality · 16/04/2011 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TidyDancer · 16/04/2011 23:05

YANBU. The kind of people you are talking about, OP, are the ones who should never have animals in the first place.

Original poster
ohnoudidnt · 16/04/2011 23:07

Reality Are you related to the tin man ?

OP posts:
Vallhala · 16/04/2011 23:07

YANBU.

On the subject of dogs being discarded because of a baby in the house, these two disgraceful examples are genuine requests for help in rehoming dogs which I have had in the past month or so.

Couple 1 have had their 4 year old GSD since he was a pup. They also now have a child, who is beginning to toddle. They want rid of their dog because he ignores their child when the child reaches it's hands through the stairgate which seperates the two and therefore they feel that he is a threat to the child. Dog has been seperated from the child since the child was born and now lives largely in the utility room.

Couple 2 have had their dog since he was a pup. Dog is now also 4 years old. Couple have a 9 month old and the woman is pregnant again. They want rid of their dog *because he licked the toddler^.

Sickening people.

Mumcentreplus · 16/04/2011 23:08

exactly that Reality its an animal!...

AgentZigzag · 16/04/2011 23:08

We have one dog and two cats, which before I had DD2 I babied a lot bit Blush

But once I had DD it was really weird, and this is how I see it in hiensight, I was totally emotionally exhausted and anything I had left over from looking after/being besotted with DD went to DD1 and DH.

It had to, and rightly of course.

But it meant I didn't feel or treat the pets the same, not that I/we didn't care for them, but it was different afterwards for me.

I would never not include them in our family, but I can imagine how it might feel if my reaction was stronger and I thought their happiness was less than it should be.

Undutchable · 16/04/2011 23:14

Since we've had our DCs I would say we are better dog owners. We have a better structure to our day, and now the dog knows his place better and seems more secure. His place in our home is different but he has adapted well and has more people to love him. I agree with zigzag though, my feelings did change.

And he licks the kids a lot. Grin

LostInSockLand · 16/04/2011 23:16

I had a friend who was like that with her kids, she adores the babies, the rest of her brood can fook off as far as she is concerned. She has five now I think, I stopped bothering with her after the fourth when I saw her scream her head off at the eldest for asking for a drink and slap the youngest around the head for daring to try and go out in the garden with mummy. Horrible woman.

AgentZigzag · 16/04/2011 23:16

Vallhala, our dog does sometimes get a sneaky naughty lick in, to the backdrop of DD2s adoring squeals of joy Grin

I can imagine some people might have difficulty with the crossover of keeping a baby germ free and letting them out into the real world once they start toddling.

Watching your toddler when they lick the floor to see what it tastes like can do wonders for breaking that cycle though Grin

Thanks for saying that you felt different too unduchable, I thought it was just me.

AgentZigzag · 16/04/2011 23:19

Not saying your friend is right in how she behaved or that I was the same as her LostInSockLand, but your feelings can change with a lot of things when you have a baby.

MaisyMooCow · 16/04/2011 23:20

When my friend had a baby her dog became very protective towards it. I was visiting one day and my friend had stepped out of the room. Baby started crying so I approached her to check she was ok and the dog started growling and snarling at me. I had to back off, I crapped myself thinking it was going to pounce. It was a Rotweiller btw !

She used to include the dog as much as possible so it didn't get jealous but I suppose it depends on how much time you have to be honest.

Original poster
ohnoudidnt · 16/04/2011 23:22

I am not saying the baby should not be no. 1 priority in every sense,but my dogs have been involved from the start and dd adores them and likewise.My friends dog has gone from being part of the family to being confined to the downstairs boxroom.What has he done wrong?

OP posts:
HeadfirstForHalos · 16/04/2011 23:23

YANBU

When I was pregnant with my first, I was so shocked at several of my work colleages that said I would have to "get rid" of my cats now I was having a baby Hmm Needless to say I certainly did not.

We got our dog when my youngest was 6 months, they are fabulous together, she is with all the dc. With a bit of common sense, pets and dc go very well together.

HeadfirstForHalos · 16/04/2011 23:26

Vallhalla Whenever my dc get home- from school etc- our dog "kisses" them on the cheek by nudging them with her nose or licking them. They think it's hilarious. But by God , don't tell my mil Grin

worraliberty · 16/04/2011 23:27

I think it's natural to have less time to heap affection on your dog/any animal during the first few months...simply because you're knackered out.

But dogs especially seem to have an uncanny knack for accepting changes. Ours coped wonderfully because we made sure to stroke him and talk to him when we held the baby...as you would to a toddler I suppose in order to help them accept the new arrival.

He even coped without his midday walk for a couple of months...knowing that DH would walk him longer in the morning and evenings.

Well he must have known because he'd drag DH twice around the park instead of leading him out the gate Grin

LostInSockLand · 16/04/2011 23:30

ah no agentzigzag, i'm not talking about pets here..the friend I spoke about had lots of pets who were swiftly "found better homes".

I'm talking about her kids. With every new one she treated the rest like crap.

Kid with a new toy.......that's what she was/is. Human/animal...no difference!