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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder what everyone's reaction's are to OG NIKI and her proclamation?

176 replies

LDNmummy · 14/04/2011 13:33

Really interested to know what people think about this. There has been a lot of talk about how people would react if it was their daughter or family member.

For those who don't know the back story, this is about a 17 year old girl who MC's (raps) from Birmingham. She has been an instant internet hit in the last couple of day's but for all the wrong(?) reasons.

Niki has made a grime (grime is a genre which can probably be defined as an original British rap style) tune about having sex with 6 guys at once and cites that everyone has been 'in her' since she lost her virginity at 16.

She is actually skilled as an MC but there is raging debate about her lyrics and attitude toward sex.

Personally I have grown up as part of the urban generation that listen's to grime music and find that it has it's good points and bad points like all genre's. But, with a very recent video by a mainstream grime artist featuring actual sex scene's (actual pornographic material) and now this, I do feel it is taking a nosedive. But I am not here to ask about the genre (just sad that this is coming out of it), more interested in what people would feel if this was their daughter. She say's her mother knows and does not care!

There seems to be a divide in opinion with some saying she is just being honest and making her claim to fame which is effectively working, and others are saying saying this is no way to get fame and she is degrading herself immensely.

Is this really a reputable way to fame these days? Has music sunk to this level of 'sex sells'?

: Please be aware that this link contains explicit lyrics
OP posts:
alistron1 · 15/04/2011 12:19

They are good olipolly because the members of the bands are talented musicians who had something more meaningful to contribute than standing round in gold tracksuits/other leisure wear items shouting shit about bollocks.

HTH.

nulliusxinxverbax · 15/04/2011 12:21

She aint no UB40

Love it.

alistron1 · 15/04/2011 12:22
alistron1 · 15/04/2011 12:24

Just watched the video in the OP, what a load of shit. Absolute shit.

cantspel · 15/04/2011 12:30

She isn't a feminist.

What is equal about being on your hands and knees whilst a couple of blokes order you to split whilst they video it.
She might think she is being so cutting edge and raw but she is just misguided and abused.

GastonTheLadybird · 15/04/2011 12:31

My money is on most of that song being written like that for effect, just because she is singing about it doesn't mean it is true.

I was pretty promiscuous at 17/18/19 and whilst I wouldn't have rapped about it (not really my scene) I was open about it, and even proud in a naive/arrogant kinda way. I was discovery my sexuality and the power it gave me - I think that is pretty normal in your late teens.

GastonTheLadybird · 15/04/2011 12:32

*affect

typing without thinking!

SueSylvesterforPM · 15/04/2011 12:36

I can see both sides here

I feel for her, her private sexual choices are her own but why does she feel the need to disclose it to the whole world? its really sad
I expect when she is older and has kids she will be quite embarassed thats what I feel for the most, at the minute I dont think it will have registered.

I don't agree with making her feel bad, but I have a ds myself I'd like to think he would see it for the sad spectacle it is.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 15/04/2011 12:46

That's odd, because as far as I remember most Led Zepplin songs are about fucking, unsurprisingly, being based on old blues songs. There was some hippy druggy nonsemse and some folky bits to I suppose.

But mainly fucking.

alistron1 · 15/04/2011 12:52

They were a tad more accomplished though than the dross churned out today TCNY.... as was the stuff written by Robert Johnson who inspired many fantastic rock bands.

They might have sung about squeezing lemons until the juice ran down their legs, but they actually 'sang' and had a level of musicality and accomplishment.

Unlike the rubbish linked to in the OP.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 15/04/2011 12:59

Yes the link in the OP is a bit rubbish, but that seems to be basically a couple of teenagers in a school music room recorded on someone mobile phone.

EricNorthmansMistress · 15/04/2011 14:36

Whilst I agree with SGB's stance on women and sexuality most of the time, in this case I must disagree. OG Niki is 17 years old and seems to think that she's doing something very subversive and shocking by having lots of sex, multiple partners and rapping about it. Each generation thinks they invented sex don't they! The saddest thing, for me, is that she doesn't shock or surprise me at all - I know of lots of young women who have this kind of sex and without exception it doesn't come from a good place. At 17 you are just learning, discovering and developing confidence. How can anyone possibly think that a 17yo is confident, experienced (in life, not sex) and rounded enough to be genuinely seeking this sort of sex life because it's a real choice? SGB you are in your 40s, right? She's 17 :(

I'm also sorry to say that I've heard teenage boys talking about girls they have had sex with. There is no mutual respect there. Unless she's seeking out older, kinder and more mature men with a respect for women into group sex (as I expect SGB and her ilk do) then she will be being talked about behind her back, and treated vilely to her face, by the boys/men she is having sex with. Nothing empowering about that.

diddl · 15/04/2011 14:54

"My money is on most of that song being written like that for effect, just because she is singing about it doesn't mean it is true."

I cant believe that it took so long for someone to post that.

It´s a shame that she doesn´t just get ignored as a talentless attention seeker.

Mamazonhereggsclucking · 15/04/2011 14:58

I think the poor girl should be pitied not celebrated.
She obviously lacks some sort of appropriate affection in her life and she therefore feels that to get it by allowing men to use her body is something to be proud of.

it is a shame. I would be beyond mortified if my daughter thought that giving her body up for such acts and then believing she was somehow big or clever because of it.

dittany · 15/04/2011 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 15/04/2011 21:51

The one piece of advice I would like to give Niki is: have all the sex you want, with as many people as you want, on your own terms - and remember that when people criticize you for it, then they are the ones with the problem. And if a man who you have had sex with says nasty things about you, then he's the sexually dysfunctional one.

Mamazonhereggsclucking · 15/04/2011 21:56

SGB i agree entirely.

Sex is great. sex with multiple partners is also great, so long as you are 100% happy with what is happening and you are fully understanding of what you are doing and why.

But a lot of young girls who think they are doing it because they want to are actually acting out in the way they believe they should be rather than how they actually want to. Which is saddening.

cantspel · 15/04/2011 22:02

dittany i trust that i have instilled enough values and morals into my children that to be exposed to a few minutes of very bad rap isn't going to corrupt him for life.
i dont want him to see it as cool/hip or whatever the in phase is. And to have your mother say "hey what do you honestly think of this" sure takes away any chance of it being considered cool.
He didn't even bother to watch more than a minutes worth proclaimed her a sad slapper and went back to doing whatever he was doing beforehand.

StayFrosty · 15/04/2011 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 15/04/2011 22:05

Mamazon: but that's also true of young girls who believe they 'should' commit to a man who has decided he loves them very early on, when what the man wants is a combination of servant and possession. Girls also suffer when they believe that sex is something to be avoided or traded only for commitment (not least because if they have been told that you should only have sex with The One they end up spending years with a man who's a crap shag...).
It really does seem that the two most threatening types of female behaviour are unashamed promiscuity and determined celibacy, because both of these are about women owning their own sexuality and not handing it over to men. Men are never called nymphos/slags nor are they called frigid, nor are they the recipients of a load of patronizing false sympathy by people determined to dig out whatever must be wrong with them to make them refuse to at least aspire to heteromonogamy.

PigeonMalteaserMadness · 15/04/2011 22:08

She is a very pretty girl and talented too. Porn culture. I despair.

DH's mate's wife has an estranged DD who was filmed on a phone losing her virginity aged thirteen to three boys.

That's where all this is leading.

Mamazonhereggsclucking · 15/04/2011 22:09

I would be having strong words with a 13 year old who used the term sad slapper.
I would challenge such a misogynist opinion and point out that whilst the girls actions are certainly troubling she is no worse than the 6 men who also indulged in the act, in fact she was probably coerced by those said men.

As for those who preach one thing on one thread and something else elswhere...welcome to MN.

cantspel · 15/04/2011 22:14

he used the term sad slag but i was trying to be polite.

Not a nice term and wouldn't be allowed to be used normally but i asked his honest opinion and he gave it.

he wasn't too complimentary about the blokes who would do that either.

bristolcities · 15/04/2011 22:20

But young male rappers/mc's do this all the time with no controversy at all.

dittany · 15/04/2011 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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