Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what everyone's reaction's are to OG NIKI and her proclamation?

176 replies

LDNmummy · 14/04/2011 13:33

Really interested to know what people think about this. There has been a lot of talk about how people would react if it was their daughter or family member.

For those who don't know the back story, this is about a 17 year old girl who MC's (raps) from Birmingham. She has been an instant internet hit in the last couple of day's but for all the wrong(?) reasons.

Niki has made a grime (grime is a genre which can probably be defined as an original British rap style) tune about having sex with 6 guys at once and cites that everyone has been 'in her' since she lost her virginity at 16.

She is actually skilled as an MC but there is raging debate about her lyrics and attitude toward sex.

Personally I have grown up as part of the urban generation that listen's to grime music and find that it has it's good points and bad points like all genre's. But, with a very recent video by a mainstream grime artist featuring actual sex scene's (actual pornographic material) and now this, I do feel it is taking a nosedive. But I am not here to ask about the genre (just sad that this is coming out of it), more interested in what people would feel if this was their daughter. She say's her mother knows and does not care!

There seems to be a divide in opinion with some saying she is just being honest and making her claim to fame which is effectively working, and others are saying saying this is no way to get fame and she is degrading herself immensely.

Is this really a reputable way to fame these days? Has music sunk to this level of 'sex sells'?

: Please be aware that this link contains explicit lyrics
OP posts:
AtYourCrucifix · 14/04/2011 14:21

chlamydia anyone?

her parents must be so proud.

SomethingSuper · 14/04/2011 14:24

People can say 'Oh he's a slut, a male slag, blah blah blah' but frankly it just doesnt carry the same weight of spite and disdain as it does when directed at a girl/woman.

Goblinchild · 14/04/2011 14:24

I'm delighted by the fact that my children and their friends seem to have moved towards the idea of what is and isn't acceptable behaviour being rules for human beings rather than different depending on the gender of the person involved.
There is sexual banter, and several relationships on the go in their various circles but I see respect and boundaries and reinforcement of the idea that the individual is what matters, not what sex they are.

Goblinchild · 14/04/2011 14:25

Perhaps that's one of the reasons why they don't like rap and never had. there is nothing in it to admire. And for protest songs? DS is a Levellers fan.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 14/04/2011 14:27

What makes me fucking despair about this is the way everyone is whining about how 'awful' it is that this girl should express enjoyment of multiple sexual partners. Why on earth shouldn't she have as much sex as she likes, with whoever she likes, and be entirely unashamed about it? A girl or young woman who has lots of different sexual partners because she wants to is a revolutionary and doing herself a massive favour, because she is never going to put up with rubbish from a man who doesn't make her happy.

cantspel · 14/04/2011 14:28

I would be a lot more worried if my sons view her behavior and outlook on sex as normal and the thing to aspire to.

I have always tried to teach them that there is no value in having something that everyone else can or has had. i dont expect them to remain virgins until the marriage bed but i do hope that i have instilled enough morals in to them that they dont want to have sex with anyone who comes along just because it was offered.

pommedechocolat · 14/04/2011 14:29

Hate it. Hate Rihanna's current wail of shite song too for the same reason.
it's not big, it's not clever and it is not what I want dd to grow up thinking is acceptable behaviour.
It is also NOT what sex is about. About as far from good sex as it is possible to get. I only want dd to have good sex when she gets to that bit of life (only 12 months heh).

ShirleyKnot · 14/04/2011 14:29

cantspel - my point is not that he used the word "slag" it's the fact that you just casually think that's just fine cos, after all, she is one. She's seventeen FFS, and something, somewhere, has clearly gone very very wrong.

StewieGriffinsMom · 14/04/2011 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FellatioNels0n · 14/04/2011 14:32

Completely agree with Shirley and Shiney. My middle son (almost 16) listens to this kind of music (fuck knows why frankly because it's utter shite but I'm prepared to accept that that's just me being sad and old) but I get very concerned about the messages and the attitudes in the lyrics. And don't even get me started on some of the videos. Shock

I find everything about the way grime and much of the rap/hip hop scene has glorified all that is shallow, flashy, materialistic, criminal, violent, misogynist and homophobic utterly abhorrent.

It's depressing and demoralising to think that so many teenagers take a cue for what is 'cool' from some of these ahem 'musicians.'

But if I try to talk to him about my concerns all I have some weird out of body experience where I'm looking down on myself as a 1950's housewife saying Rock 'n' Roll is evil and Elvis must be the Devil. Confused

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 14/04/2011 14:43

Cantspel: What a shame. I think it's absolutely vital to educate young people along the lines that sex is for pleasure, and you should have as much as you want (though if you do't want any, that's fine too).
So much harm and malice is caused by the idea that there is such a thing as having too much sex, or too many sexual partners. People who are taught to mix sex up with love, or 'save themselves' are often the ones who have miserable relationships with bullies or sexual inadequates because they don't know any better, because they are taught that their virginity is currency that they should get the 'best deal' (ie lifetime commitment) when they trade it in.
I think this girl is doing a great job by refusing to be ashamed of her sexual behaviour. Why the fuck should she be ashamed? She's having fun with other people and they are having fun with her.

MamaMary · 14/04/2011 14:45

Very, very sad. I have noticed that rap and hip/hop music has become more and more repulsive in its attitude towards women. Beyonce's and Rhianna's lyrics/ videos express it more and more. I believe this young girl's video shows that it is becoming more normal, mainstream.

I agree with whoever said misogyny/ hatred of women is becoming more acceptable. A review of music in the last ten years proves this imo. Recently I have been very aware of it and am very alarmed and concerned for my DD.

Pliff · 14/04/2011 14:46

Don't feed the trolls.

cantspel · 14/04/2011 14:47

Oh i want my sons to have lots and lots of sex but i want them to have it with people they care about and who care about them.
I dont want them ever to see women as just a hole for poking.

OG Niki might not be ashamed of her sexual behaviour but neither do the lyrics sound like she is having a great deal of fun. Unless you count being on your knees and choking on cock as fun.

FellatioNels0n · 14/04/2011 14:47

Well yes, SCGB except that most of the very impressionable girls who will be listening to this will not be as capable of separating sex and love as you. They will be using their bodies as a form of currency for acceptance and attention and emotional validation, which they probably won't get, and it will quite possibly leave them emotionally damaged. Not to mention pregnant.

RumourOfAHurricane · 14/04/2011 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LDNmummy · 14/04/2011 14:53

Beyonce and Rihanna are not rap or hip hop artists. I think alot of this is being attributed to rap and hip hop on this thread. Though I acknowledge that rap is rediculously mysogynistic these days, we cannot only accredit mysogynistic attitudes in music to this genre alone. Pop, dance and R&B are also big culprits. Beyonce and Rihanna make majority pop tunes and some R&B tunes.

Kylie and Madonna are also good examples. Madonna has been very open about her sexuality and gyrates in leotards with legs open in almost all her videos. Kylie is more subtle but still makes songs that are sexually suggestive while dressing in costumes that expose and parade her famous derriere.

And lets not start on Shakira, my DP's personal favourite Grin

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 14/04/2011 14:54

I think this girl is doing a great job by refusing to be ashamed of her sexual behaviour. Why the fuck should she be ashamed? She's having fun with other people and they are having fun with her

Yes, fantastic, she is sending out the message that sleeping around and letting just about anyone shag her is the way to go!... not!

There are such things as decorum, dignity, self-respect, and morals, not to mention good sexual health.

And yes, other people are certainly having fun with her, using her and thinking she is nothing but an easy lay. No decent bloke would want to be with a woman who has slept around to that extent, nor would a decent bloke have any respect for her.

She is in an industry, or trying to be in one, where she would become a role model for her peers.

What woman wants to have a reputation for being a slapper, and having others look down on you? because that is how they end up.

LDNmummy · 14/04/2011 14:54

Pliff if you are implying that I am a troll, you might want to know that I am a very active member of MN and post (sadly) almost every day on different topics.

Troll hunting maybe?

OP posts:
cantspel · 14/04/2011 14:57

shine if he had used it about a girl in the street then i might agree with you but i asked his honest view on a youtube clip of a 17 year old rapping about having 6 blokes at once.

ShirleyKnot · 14/04/2011 14:58

SGB - I think you're being deliberatley obtuse actually. The overridding feeling that this is wrong is not because of some sort of oppression of those living a non monogamous lifestyle. It's because the message going out is more one of "Use me as your fuck toy"

perfumedlife · 14/04/2011 15:22

I can't actually understand what she's singing, had a look for the lyrics online, no joy.

Is she singing about six guys together?

nulliusxinxverbax · 14/04/2011 15:27

In answer to your actual question, if my daughter behaved like that she would be dragged in, locked in and left in untill she saw the error of her ways. There would be no discussion.

Springchicken please explain how it is revolutionary?? ha ha another feminist idea which infact, just gives men exactly what they want

I also never ever put up with any shit from men, but I do that by ending relationships and staying single, not by having group sex.

perfumedlife · 14/04/2011 15:30

Right, six guys at once. Beyond sad. I notice the guys comments on youtube are less than flattering. Who is she trying to convince then?

I don't have a daughter, but if I did, and she liked and agreed with this crap, I would throw her out.

LDNmummy · 14/04/2011 15:34

Well it starts "Get f*&%ed from the back screaming la la la"

Then: "Got f&%ed by six men on camera, don't give a f&k and my mum know's so why you telling her.

"In my spare time I remove my jeans and earn the title of OG NIKI" (an OG is someone who has been involved in something for a long time)

"If ..... f&%s six men Niki f&%s more, if ..... f&%s four men niki f&%s more, Niki does it all the time, Niki aint a whore"

She goes on to explain her techniques and bedroom antics, at some point describing herself choking while giving oral and explaining her enjoyment of several guys at once (which if it floats your boat is no issue to me BTW)

Hence my curiosity as to people's reactions. This to me seems more out there than any sexually explicit songs i have heard, especially from a teenager of 17.

OP posts: