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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset that a restaurant asked me to take my crying baby out ofthe restaurant

606 replies

40Weeks · 13/04/2011 11:32

went for a meal yesterday eve at a local Zizzi's restaurant. Ds3 is 6 weeks and was a bit restless, crying on and off. The restaurant was quiet as it was 6pm and was there with dcs (mine and dsis) kids had eaten most of their meal and we had not long started ours (ordered it a bit later than the kids meals) and were taking it in turns to soothe him and dmum and dbil were there too. Apparently some customers complained about his crying so the manageress came and asked us to quieten him down or take him outside!

Aibu to think this is disgraceful?

I had breadtfed him but was facing away from other customers so don't think it was because of this. The complaining customers said that their daughter took their dgc to the ladies in such situations. Nice.

I am still reeling from this and not sure if I am bent oversensitive or if it's really weird to be offended by a baby, crying or not!

OP posts:

worraliberty · 13/04/2011 12:10

I think the 'BFing' in the OP was a bit of a red herring to be honest.

There's nothing worse than treating yourself/family to a meal in a restaurant and having it spoiled by a crying baby. Especially when there are more than enough adults to take the baby for a walk/pacify it.

Diggs · 13/04/2011 12:10

I wouldnt have complained but id have been mightily pissed off.

littleducks · 13/04/2011 12:11

I breastfed mine at many tables, nobody could see anything as I always covered and at six weeks old and tiny I doubt anyone could even tell what I was doing I would just slip them in and out.

I think the bfing is fine and I would far prefer a bfed baby at the table next to me than a crying baby.

mysticpizza · 13/04/2011 12:11

It's not unreasonable for the restaurant to have asked you to take him out when he was disturbing other customers. They have their repeat custom to think about.

edam · 13/04/2011 12:12

Perfectly reasonable of the restaurant to ask you to take a crying baby outside.

Bucharest · 13/04/2011 12:13

I think the mention of bf was to make everybody do what some posters did, turn the thread into a bf in public one.
Jazzie- the "continent" is a big place. I'm on it. Here, babies are rarely taken out of the house until they're about 6 mths old and screeching newborns in restaurants would not be tolerated any more than they would be anywhere.

violethill · 13/04/2011 12:15

Bucharest - the old chestnut about babies and children on the Continent being welcomed anywhere, any time of day or night, and the bad old UK being so child unfriendly, is wheeled out on every thread like this.

I agree - it's nonsense.

crystalglasses · 13/04/2011 12:16

If I ever set foot in a restaurant and hear a crying baby I walk out again. People go to restaurants to relax and enjoy someone else's cooking. When my dc were babies I would always take them out or even cut short the meal if they were grizzling or crying, and we never allowed them to run around inside because we know how anoying it is, espacially to childless couples.

When you have babies I think the best idea is to take children and to very child friendly chains like Pizza Hut, where lots of parents with young children go.

crazygracieuk · 13/04/2011 12:17

Yabu. In your shoes I would have left with the baby and ask other adults to look after your other kids. If baby had calmed down by the time that your food arrived I would have taken baby back, if not I would have asked one of the other adults to eat then come out and look after baby while you ate. (tag team)

I had 2 colicky babies and I wouldn't have gone to a restaurant when they were 6 weeks. I'd ask the other adults to take my other LSD and bring me back a take away instead.

It is unreasonable to assume that everyone knows what a 6 week old can be like. Other children's crying/whinging/screaming is more annoying than my own kids and I assume that's the same for everyone.

Changing2011 · 13/04/2011 12:18

That was our error crystal glasses because dp is tight

crazygracieuk · 13/04/2011 12:19

Not LSD - kids!!

Ephiny · 13/04/2011 12:20

I would have no problem at all with someone BFing in a restaurant, but would be annoyed by a baby crying all the way through the meal and not being taken outside. I don't think it's 'weird' for people to not want their evening out to be spoilt by loud high-pitched screaming.

I don't think I would take a 6 week old baby to a restaurant in the first place tbh.

ZZZenAgain · 13/04/2011 12:20

if the manager was polite about it, I think you are being a bit U really to get too upset it. What else could the restaurant staff have done after receiving complaints? Unlessthe tone was nasty, letting you know that other people had complained and asking you to try and comfort the baby or take him/her for a walk outside isn't that bad in my book. There were 4 adults at your table so between you all, it could have been done I would have thought

Changing2011 · 13/04/2011 12:22

OP is busy taking over a small Starbucks with her multitude of kids and their different eating rotas clearly. She has not replied to this for ages!

givequicheachance · 13/04/2011 12:24

I don't think people complain at the drop of a hat. I reckon it must have been fairly sustained and intrusive to have been asked to take him out.

My gut feeling is that YABU, sorry.

Anythingwithagiraffeonit · 13/04/2011 12:26

I think YAB a little bit U..

I have taken my DD to restaurants a few times a week since she was born, but if she starts screaming I feel 50% it's not fair on the other customers and 50% so flustered that I usually just leave anyway!

I try to think back before baby when I would have been really quite annoyed at a baby screaming while I was trying to eat.

frantic51 · 13/04/2011 12:27

TBH a crying baby wouldn't bother me that much, especially now my own are all practically adults. But, if I had small children myself and had had to maybe save up for an infrequent meal out, I'd be a bit if I had to listen to someone else's child cry it's way through my meal! I think you are being a bit U, sorry.

ThreeBunniesOfTheApocalypse · 13/04/2011 12:28

YABU

If me and dp ever get to have a meal together in a restaurant minus the mini eggs (12 years and counting) I wouldn't be very happy if I had to listen to a baby screaming throughout

GypsyMoth · 13/04/2011 12:28

op where are you?

not what you wanted to hear i guess..

TheMonster · 13/04/2011 12:29

I wouldn't want to hear a baby crying while I was out for dinner. YABU.

SusanneLinder · 13/04/2011 12:30

Innishvickillaune -great post!

I don't understand why the OP didn't either feed him or take him out. A boob in mouth shuts up most crying babies :)

vintageteacups · 13/04/2011 12:31

Gemma - you do realise that since 2010, it's illegal for anyone to ask a mother to stop breastfeeding in public?

Perhaps OP- you could have taken your LO outside for a little walk.

I think most people would generally just 'feel' for you having a baby that won't stop crying. I certainly wouldn't complain if we were eating - even if it were for a romantic night out on our own.

vintageteacups · 13/04/2011 12:33

What if the OP had been on a train or in the GP surgery? She couldn't have left then? It's not like you go out for dinner and listen to a crying baby every time you eat out is it?

TheMonster · 13/04/2011 12:34

A train or a GP surgery is a completely different place.

JimmyChooChoo · 13/04/2011 12:36

Why didn't you take the crying baby out straight away OP?You can't expect people to enjoy their meal if a baby is screaming.
How did you deal with the situation in the end?

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